And They Call Us Kings
by SendMoreParamedics
Summary: Formerly No Fun Ichigo. Fighting for his right to party, Hichigo gets more than he bargained for. But when Orihime is taken, what happens when he goes to Hueco Mundo? What are higher than Vasto Lordes? What is this new found power? HichigoXIchigo yaoi yo!
1. AHHAHA TEASE!

**((Beware. Language. adult themes, I'm not listing them as they haven't been written yet, and extreme making fun of all people. Stereotypes suck.))**

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**Wow. Okay, so uh, I've decided to y'know, reappear back on the face of the planet. and write something. AND HOLY HELLZ!! Finish it. cuz what I did with that last one was god awful. I just realized how much I hated it, and was WAY tired of Naruto, and it started sucking. (sure, bitch at me. I don't care how much I'm wrong, I happen to think Naruto is going downhill. Especially the US version.) It went downhill enough for me to stop. and then y'know, I never said 'yeah this fic is done' or anything. SO. I'm gonna be writing this one. Y'know, until Bleach starts sucking, WHICH MY GOD I WILL KILL MYSELF IF IT DOES. Its so good. (Okay, I won't' actually kill myself, I'm not one of those emo fuckers.) So. Uh, I was perusing the Ichigo-Hollow fanfics, and I find a 'punk' one, after the GREENDAY song. Uh, first thing wrong with that "PUNK" WTF!! Bigger issue "punk" and "Greenday" appearing in the same sentence with out an "is not". WTF. Okay. So uh, yeah I saw that, had a minor aneurysm, and uh, here I am. Back with Vengeance. With a subversive piece of words set out to prove SOMETHING. I'm not sure what, it will probably manifest itself later on. So, this I guess I'm not sure, but so far, Hichgo has had a bit of a fall out. (FOB SUCKS) Uh blah blah blah, lets just let this thing unfold, you are welcome to give suggestions, ideas, questions, comments, and flames, though flames will just be laughed at and I will probably post a fake chapter full of what you were bitching out JUST to piss you off.**

Yeah. And uh, this WILL be IchigoXHichigo/IchigoXHollow, whatever you call it. But Ogihci, no matter how clever, is just kinda dumb.

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_Now for a subliminal message: givememoneygivememoneygivememoneygivememoneygivememoney_

_LISTEN TO ANIMAL COLLECTIVE!! givememoneygivememoneygivememoneygivememoneygivememoney-don't drink and drive kids!_

I own NOTHING.

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Preface:

"_Why won't ya let me OUT, king? I won't do nothin'! I swear_" The small muffled cry awoke Ichigo. He turned over, struggling to get out of his self-inflicted casing of blankets, and looked at the time. 4:27. A.M. He was going to KILL HICHIGO.

"SHUT UP! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT TIME IT IS?!"

"_KIIIIIIIIINGGGG..._" The voice whined back.

"What is it THIS time?" He said still trying to untangle himself. "Is is the rain? Too dark? Is it too sunny? Not enough buildings? Needing a change of scenery?"

"_King... I'm missing such an important part of our life with all this fighting._"

"What? What's that supposed to mean? You could just shut up y'know..."

"_Nah, listen to me king. What do NORMAL high school kids do? They have fun! They have friends-_"

"I've got friends. I have fun." The grumbled reply came.

"_They go to parties, they drink, they drive, they fuck, I've heard about this 'Ghost riding a whip' and 'cranking it' sounds exciting, huh king? They DO things besides running after stuffed lions and fighting invisible things and getting in arguments with girly archer boys, and they actually DO homework, but I don't care about tha-._"

"What the fuck is a ghost whip rider? What are you TALKING about? At 4:30 in the morning no less. Make damn SENSE, hollow!"

"_Ichigo you're no FUN! Why couldn't I be the hollow of someone like them? I bet there would be more than just BUILDINGS in here. And no rain, and no stupid old man pondering, an-"_

"And what the hell do you think is fun? Oh, besides you know, killing my friends, family, killing anything for that matter, and driving me fuckin nuts. You haven't done anything else."

"_Aw... I'm hurt king. But I want to do all those things! I'm sure somewhere down YOU DO TOO! If you didn't, I wouldn't even know about them! Could we at least try 'thizzing'? Whatever that is..."_

"I'm going back to fucking sleep."

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Should I do it? Eh? EH? EH!? I dunno. I've got a few ideas. Higicho's gettin' smashed. Thats all i know. He's gettin smash and gettin' extra friendly with Ichigo.

Maybe I'll just go with random inspiration. I could always write a few versions. I could always get help (COUGH COUGH HINT HINT!)

Eh, I'll prolly just update it later tonight. erm... well, yeah i've got nothing better to do i guess.

Update/ actual story later tonight or tommarrow. BEFORE APRIL I SWEAR TO FUCKIN GOD!!


	2. Getting of the Groceries

HOLY CRAP!HOLY CRAP! HOLY CRAP! I own NOTHING!

HOLY CRAP! 2 reviews in like, not much time. I dunno. Its 3:18 pm, I just woke up, I'm a little hung over, but okay. 'thizzing' is like 'Ghost ride the whip' and every other Hyphy/bay area hip hop thing. It's like getting 'crunk' and 'going dumb', except not. I've got no idea how to explain it. Listen to the song 'Tell Me When To Go' by E-40. That sums it up pretty well. YEAH! But that's really cool. I'm like, all giddy now. And my bitter-ass tea is now luke-cold. And I'm doing my best to avoid all spring-cleaning housework.

"blah" - dialogue

'_Ichigo thought_'

'_**Hichigo thought**_'

"_**blah**_" - Hichigo dialogue

"**blah**" Zangetsu dialogue.

It'll prolly say, or you can figure it out. I dunno. I try to make it simple enough.

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Ichigo made it through the rest of the day without interruption from his hollow. This did not bother him in the least, for he was unaware of Hichigo's malicious planning.

Hichigo had been scrawling things on pieces of paper all day, and they lay scattered across the roof top of the building he was on. He paused, and frowned at the one in his hands. He crumpled it up and threw it over his shoulder with the rest. He grabbed another and began writing.

"ICHIGO!" His father yelled from downstairs.

"WHAT?"

"We need groceries." Ichigo opened the door and found his father scowling at him. He scowled back '_AS IF HE CAN OUT SCOWL ME!'_

"Then go get some!" He moved to slam the door, but his father's foot was in the way.

"Ichigo, we need groceries." He repeated, leveling up his scowl to level 3.

At this point, sensing annoyance, Hichigo was watching with interest. _**'This is perfect! Plan #34!'**_

"Go yourself!" Ichigo raised his scowl to level 4.

_**"Just do it, Ichigo..."**_

Ichigo was taken aback by his hollow, and his father took this opportunity to kick him down the stairs, shove the list and cash into his hand and vanish.

'Goddamnit.' He though has he stood up, brushed himself off, and started to walk down the street.

Inside the inner world, Hichigo was hastily making preparations. He had been practicing while Ichigo was asleep, starting off with small things like pencils and paper, and gradually taking the bed into the inner world. (A/N: I have NO idea if this is possible, I have only seen a few Bleach episodes, and am now reading it. So, yeah, I'm no expert. At all.) It was a miracle Ichigo hadn't woken up. Now was the time! The time had come! HUZZAH!

_Ding!_ Ichigo stepped into the store. He pulled the list out of his pocket.

'Hmmmm...' He did not notice Hichigo's manifestation, or his beeline to the sake isle.

**Ichigo's POV**

I looked over the shiny packages of bread, grumbling. _There have to at least be a million different kinds! C'mon! I want bread! I don't care if its 10, 20, 40, 50, 80, or a 100 whole wheat!! I don't care what kind of wheat, or where it comes from!_

And then my head started throbbing. _AUGH! This is bullshit!_ (Its cuz of HICHIGO!  )I closed my eyes and grabbed a package randomly. TAKE THAT CONSUMER MARKETING!

I looked down at what it was. 70 wheat rye. I put it back. _Just had to be rye..._

I picked again, satisfied with plain 50 whole wheat sourdough, I continued to the lunch juices.

I picked some nice lemonade. The good kind, not the watery sugar kind. I took out the list again.

_Jam, peanut butter, blah, rice, blah, blah, blah._ I continue my hunt.

**Йichigo's POV**

I finish my shopping, scaring the pants off some old lady when she saw the bottles floating. I return to Ichigo's head. Plan #34 half accomplished! The other half will come later... I cackle evilly.

'_What's so funny hollow?_'

_**"Nothing. You just picked strawberry jam. That's all. Strawberry!"**_

_'It's really not that funny...'_

_**"Fuck you."**_

_'I'll pass. Shut up now.'_

I smirked and returned to the inner world, and counted the bottles.

"**What are you planning?" **I turned around to find Zangetsu behind me on the roof. I glared.

_**"Nothing. Go back to your Pondering Perch."**_ He lifted an eye brow grabbed a bottle and left.

_**"Bastard..."**_ I muttered and recounted.

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Damn, whenever I write I try to swear to make it really long, not like those ridiculously short chapters, but I can't avoid all the spring cleaning. I still have to vacuum and mop, do some MORE laundry, homework, and band practice, while still have time to party party party, procrastinate, sleep, do nothing, write this, read bleach, zone out on music and skate. Yeah. Damnit. Sorry about the shortness. I SWEAR the rest will be longer!! GAAAAAACK!

And is/has any one freaked out about how SMALL Rukia actually is? Less than 5 feet! And uh, I'm taller than Ichigo... DAMN THE CENTIMETERS! Always making things more dramatic. 174 cm sounds a lot bigger than 5' 8"... I'm not taller by much, but I got a good inch and o half on him. And is the first introduction of Hell not the COOLEST THING? I mean, BESIDES Ichigo. I can't help my sighing every time he scowls.

time posted:11:56 PM.

I've got a fair few ideas for how things go next chapter. I'd want it to be normal paced, y'know, like a real relationship, though y'know, I COOOOOOOOOOULD just go straight into it. I dunno, hollah at ya boi if you gots any ideas or suggests or anything.

_i've been into the plants and simple treasures  
and i sew patches on pants and i get pleasure  
and i don't make particular plans cause they don't matter  
if you keep on foolin' in bed with my sleeping patterns  
_

_we do the dance up on the plains  
then i shake your shoulders  
you push me down into the grains  
who rubs our noses in the night? we do we do_

-'Grass' by Animal Collective


	3. Might as WELL

**OKAY! YEAH! ALRIGHT! I found this really cool old 80's skateboard in the trash the other day. I 'm guessing it was there cuz it was missing a truck and wheels. But, I of course, saved it, and switched it with my trucks so now it works and is really kick ass. YEAH. I'm also listening to the B-52's. God, I love the 80's... well, 76-85 in general even though 'cosmic thing' was released in 89. WHATEVER. Moving on. I Own nothing, cuz if i did, this show would SO not be adult swim, or in normal stores. They'd be in the stores that sell La Blue Girl, Slave Doll/Aki the Maid, and that one really crazy DBZ/Sailor Moon crossover thing. MY GOD THAT WAS WEIRD. This is pretty dialogue heavy, which is good for me cuz you can notice subtle personality changes easy without being obvious, and it makes it look longer... Mostly the second one though. FUN FACT!: I use the # 2 a lot... AND I STILL OWN NOTHING!**

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Ichigo arrived home to find Yuzu in the kitchen boiling water.

"Hey Yuzu," He said and set the bag of groceries on the table.

"Nii-chan! Did you get rice?" She ran over to the bag and began piling things up beside them on the table.

"ATK!" Ichigo grabbed the chocolate ice cream out of the bag before she could grab it and run upstairs.

"ICHIGO YOU'LL RUIN YOUR APPETITE!" She cried after him shaking a large spoon.

When Ichigo arrived upstairs, he collapsed on his bed, tub of ice cream and spoon by his side. He sighed.

**Ichigo's POV**

SIGH _What the hell... I don't have much fun. Goddamn, I still have that math thing to do._ He propped himself up on the pillow, opening the ice cream container.

"_**More fucking rain? C'mon! And what the fuck is that chocolate ice cream? What? Did you get your period or something?!**__"_ The voice shouted from in my head.

_"SHUT UP AND GO AWAY!"_ If he was here I would of smacked him face first across the room.

"_**Aw, King, that's not very nice... think about how that affects my feelings! Oh... Wait, no I don't have any. Well, if I did you would have just hurt them.**_"

I took the spoon and started to dig in.

**Hichigo's POV**

I materialized and there was a yelp has I smacked his hand, causing the ice cream to fall on his lap.

"What the hell!? You want it to keep raining? Sure. Don't let me eat this. See if I care!" He sat the pint down, pulled his legs up to his chest, and looked away pouting.

"_**Oh puh-leeze. There are better ways of drowning your sorrows you pathetic moron!**_" I rolled by eyes and shoved his shoulder.

"Like WHAT? I'm only a little better at art than Rukia! Music on enhances whatever mood I'm in, and I can't sleep because I have to be awake if there is a Hollow." He listed these off as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"_**There's ALWAYS a hollow, but there are other ways.**_"

"There's not ALWAYS a hollow, but there could be."

"_**No... There's always ONE, but since I can only control you for 10 minutes I guess I don't count then, do I?**_" I laugh inside. _Fall for it, fall for it!! _There's only a 98 chance he will, prideful bastard.

"10 minutes my ASS. You can't even control me for 10 seconds!" _Oh, he fell for it, hook, line and SINKER!_

_"__**Bet your ass I can **__**SO**__** more more than 10 seconds!**_"

"YOU'RE ON!" I return to the inner world in front of Zangetsu.

"**He fell for it?**" He was swaying on his perch slightly and he hiccuped.

"_**Indeed old man. And you had no faith in me! Ready?**_" He nodded. He pulled a scroll from inside his robes and handed it to me, along with 2 bottles of sake.

'_You gonna try and take over or what Hollow? Did you chicken out?'_

_"__**You WISH!**_" I opened the scroll and placed it on the ground. The writing swirled and then turned into a plot-hole, which I then fell through.

_**KA-FLASH!**_

I took over Ichigo, opened the bottle in my hand and started chugging.

**Ichigo's POV**

I felt the change and was soon transported into my inner world. It was dark for a second(a/n: It's not really clear, but the darkness is the plot-hole he fell through...), and then I landed on the familiar crooked buildings. There was a brief wind, and then Zangetsu appeared before me. Sneaky guy must have flash-stepped.

"**Ichigo!**" It was only a little bit menacing the way he was towering over me.

"**We must talk.**"

"Uh, okay, but, uh, can this wait?" He grabbed my shoulders and shook me.

"WAAA-UAH-UAH-UAH! ZAN'-GEH-EH-EHTSU! HICHIGO I-I-IS"

"**EXACTLY!**"

"What?"

"**Hichigo is-**" I sniffed the air.

"Zangetsu you smell like sake. How do you get sake in here?"

"**You don't.**" He hiccuped.

"Are you drunk? You're DRUNK! Then why does it smell like that? What the hell?!"

"**You must listen! Its about Hichigo!**" Then I remembered our bet.

"AH! THE BET! GOTTA GO! LATER!" And I focused on forcing Hichigo out.

I returned to find my feet wet. I looked down. There was a almost empty bottle of sake at my feet. Then I realized there was a very strange taste in my mouth. I returned enraged to my inner world.

"YOU ASSHOLE WHAT DID YOU DO!?" I grabbed the hollow and shook him like Zangetsu shook me.

"_**What ever do you mean Ichi-kun?**_" His crooked grin was ever so patronizing.

"WHAT DID YOU DO! HOW DID YOU GET SAKE?" I glanced around. "What happened to Zangetsu? Oh, yeah, he was drunk too. Y'know if you weren't such an asshole, I could really appreciate getting Zangetsu drunk. BUT NO!" I turned back to him. "WHAT THE HELL!?"

"_**Zangetsu got drunk of his own accord.**_"

"Really? That's funny. Didn't picture him to do that."

"_**Yeah, more of the solitary introverted thinker, not the getting smashed off your ass kind..**_"

"Not that solitary introverts don't get smashed, just he doesn't seem like one of them."

"_**Yeah. You feel like letting me go or not?**_" He glanced down at his shoulders smirking.

"Er, RIGHT! HOW DID YOU GET SAKE? WHY GET ME DRUNK?!"

"_**Distractable much?**_"

"SHUT UP AND ANSWER!"

"_**Well, which is it? Shut up, or answer?**_"_ That cackling bastard..._

"ANSWER!"

"_**Well then, its simple. I was bored. You're no fun, so I made you fun.**_"

"Drunk is fun? Wait... What? You got me drunk, so I would be fun? That doesn't make any sense! I'm confused!"

"_**That's because you're drunk!**_"

"Not yet, you bastard."

"_**You will be soon then! Same thing!**_"

"Not really!"

"_**Sure, split hairs while your brain gets all fuzzy, thoughts become blurred, and you start to be stupid. Not that you aren't the rest of the time that is... Do you want to know how I got it or not, and get that ridiculous angry pout off your face. This will be better than ice cream, I promise,**_"

**Hichigo's POV**

I pause and wait for him to be offended.

"Yeah, how did you get it anyway? And how do you know? Have you ever had ice cream?"

Did he actually miss me calling him stupid? Wow, that sake must be kicking in sooner than I thought.

"_**No, I've never had it.**_"

"Geeze, you've got no idea what you're missing."

"_**Pffft, it can't be that good-**_"

"Not that good? NOT THAT GOOD?!-"

"_**Would you shut up and listen to how I was being a sneaky snake and totally was doing crazy things without your knowledge while you were sleeping and shopping!**_"

"What?"

"_**YEAH!**_"

"What do you mean, shopping?"

"_** When you gto the groceries today Ichi-kun!**_" Ha, oblivious little strawberry...

"Oh... OH! WAIT? YOU STOLE IT? HOW?" A look of shock crossed his face.

"_**C'mon! I'm a HOLLOW! I don't need your sneering morals and ethics!**_" I grumbled.

"But how?"

"_**If you'd shut up you'd find out!**_" I glared at him daring him to speak.

"_**Okay. SO. While you were sleeping I decided to scheme. I came up with a few plans to have fun, most of them involved hiding things and taking things. But where to hide the things I would take?**_"

"Where?"

"_**SHUT UP! In your head you idiot!**_"

"In my... Head?"

"_**YES!**_" I smacked him across the face just for that stupid look. "_**So, I figured since I can drag YOU in here, why not other things? So, I started small. Like a pencil and paper, that's how I wrote out my devious plans-**_"

"Plans?"

"_**YES! PLANS TO HAVE FUN MORON!**_" I smacked him again for good measure. "_**So, again, I took some things, and eventually I got good enough at it, I took the bed while you were still sleeping.**_"

"...You took the bed...?" He dodged my smack, but barely. "While I was sleeping? THAT'S WHY I HAD A BRUISE THIS MORNING! FUCKER!"

"_**Yeah. You could actually, probably, sleep through anything.**_" I grabbed his head and looked at it. "_**Besides, the bruise isn't there now. So when you went to the store, I got the sake. I scared the shit out of some granny too.**_"

"She could see you?!"

"_**NO! She just saw the bottles.**_"

"Oh." He was quiet for a second. _BIG SURPRISE!!_ "So now what?"

"_**What? What do you mean now what?!**_" I smack him TWICE this time. "_**Have you no sense of fun at all?! Have you ever had fun in your LIFE?!**_"

"C'MON! YES I HAVE! But tomorrow is school. It's a Tuesday night! What fun can be had tonight?"

This I had not thought of. "_**I'm not sure.**_"

"WHAT?! This was your grand plan!? I- Oh, wow, I feel funny." He touches his forehead.

"_**HAHA!**_"

"Seriously though, what now?"

"_**I dunno. We get more drunk?**_" I suggest.

He appears to be mulling it over. "Why not. I'll already be drunk."

I jump down to the ground and ran to where I stashed the rest of the stash.

He jumps down after me, but sways on the landing. "Oh wow... That felt weird..."

"_**C'mon!**_" I grab his arm and drag him after me, he is now starting to stumble.

We reach the building and I open the door, grab two, hand them to him, and grab another tow for myself.

"Are we... really going to drink... all this?" He stares down at the bottles, scrutinizing every inch.

"_**Better safe then sorry, right Ichi-kun? heart in a speech bubble, **since i can't use the convenient right carrot and a 3** Cheers!**_" I clank my bottle against his and drink.

He pauses, shrugs and joins me.

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**YEAH! OKAY! AWESOME! 3 AND ½ PAGES! I won't say goodness, cuz I dunno what the fuck to call it. BUT HEY! HEY! HEY! EXTRA FEATURE!! WEIRD FAN ART! YEAH! There will be more(fan art that is, but drunken shenanigans too! :D) in the next installment... of No Fun Ichigo!! "LOLZKORE!!1!1111!1" (Please don't take the "lolkore" seriously. Seriously, that was one of my patronizing sarcastic making fun of things... K?) Wow I disappoint myself.**

http : / / i126. photobucket .com/albums/p111/ DirtyRottenCasualty/ichihichi . jpg

**(the guy is supposed to be Kuchiki-dude. I just lazy and I didn't remember what his hair was like.**

http : / / i126. photobucket .com/albums/p111/ DirtyRottenCasualty/hichiichi . jpg

**and i mean, SURE, they only KINDA look like him, but c'mon. and don't tell me the arms are all fucked up. I KNOW THAT! X.0**

******Since this stupid thing won't let me EMBED them... You get links instead. Remove the spaces, yo!  
**

****** Thank you everyone for reviewing! Oh yeah, I might have to just throw Ichimaru Gin in here cuz he fuckin rocks my socks off, but if you would kill me for that, just lemme know. Cuz I would not like to be killed.**


	4. DAMNIT KARIN!

**Well, I've got no ideas on how to sneak Ichimaru in here, so oh well I guess. Whatever. YES ICHIGO IS A DRUNKEN FOOL. GET OVER IT, LOLZ! (Again, don't take the 'lolz' seriously, I don't go around say that.) And uh, in some stories Hichigo has a hole, others he doesn't. So in MY story, yeah, he's got a big gaping hollow-hole in his chest. Fo sho, yo. And uh, to get in character I was drunk went I wrote this... so uh, they're might be some grammar issues. And my GAWWWWWWD... Do I have to use spell check. :D I'm also havin some trouble tyring to convey that , YES, they are indeed drunk, but not trying to complete be stupid about like I dunno. I don' remember how I think when I'm drunk, so I've got snothing to go off ot. Like, what things whould they notice, and how to put the things I'm slipping in like, endearment and subtle changes like openness and like... more respect and politeness. And like... DETAIL! HOW DO I ADD DETAIL IN DRUNKEN FIRST PERSPECTIVE?! Anny one got any tips?...? pweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze? I'm just a los tlittle boy tring to write fan fictiona dn have it not be awesful! :0 pweeeeeeelase?**

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**Hichigo's POV**

By now we were sitting on the side of the building, and by god, I was certainly getting buzzed. Ichigo was already red-cheeked, and laughing over mindless things.

He broke into another bout of laughter, and choked into his drink. He started sputtering and coughing.

"Having difficulties there, huh King? Don't die quite yet."

"HEEEY...!" He pointed at me. As if he would be talking to a building, not me.

"Why do you really call me King?"

"Cuz you're the king, king."

"NAAAAAAH, I mean s-serious... serious-el. Fer seeeerious."

"Having a hard time expressing yourself?" I hiccup knowing I would soon be having the same speech problems.

"Shuuuuuuuut up. Why do you call me King?" He stabbed his finger in my chest, only to find the hole.

"Cuz you're the King. And I call you King. It's not rocket science Ichigo." I laugh at his expression.

"Lemme see it."

"See what?"

"The hole!" He poked at the nothing again.

"Why? I that's all there is to it. A hole..."

"Why do you call me King?" He smirked drunkenly, so it looked like more of a grimace.

"FINE." I pull open the robe. He looks at it closely. I can't feel if I'm blushing due to the numbness in my face... What is this strange sensation? It is consuming me. I am afraid to move.

**Ichigo's SPOV( the S smashed :P)**

The hole itself is a very strange thing. It means they have no heart... kinda, like no feelings? I raise a finger. That would be so CRAZY if my hand kept going... like a tunnel.

_SMACK!_

"WHAT THE HELL!!" That bastard swatted my hand!

"Well EXCUUUUUSE ME! I AM NOT YOU'RE SPECIMEN!" He humps and turns the other way.

"Hichigo." I tap him on the shoulder lightly.

"What. I'm ignoring you."

"Please...?"

"Please WHAT?" He turns around and looks at me indignantly. He grabs the sake bottle and drinks more from it. The bottle is now almost empty.

"Can... I see it?"

"What's there to see?"

"Please?"

"WHAT IS YOUR FASH-Fan... fish... uh..."

"Fascination?"

"YEAH! Wait... WHY ARE YOU FANCINATED WITH IT?!"

"...! I'M NOT! I DIDN'T SAY THAT!" I turn around. " I DON'T CARE YOU STUPID HOLLOW." We both sigh.

A moment passes and I lean back on his back.

_LE GASP!!_

"...What?"

"Zan...getsu? HEEEEEEEY... Dude."

I spin around.

"Ichigo. You sister is slapping your face. It's dinner time." He said before shuffling away.

"WHAT?!" I snapped back to reality to find Karin hitting me.

"WHAT THE HELLLL?!"

"AS IF YOU DIDN'T HEAR ME CALLING THE LAST BILLION TIMES!!" She hit me once again and walked out of the room."Dinner." She muttered.

I paused and looked in the mirror.

"_**How you goin' to dinner DRUNK, huh King?**_" And then he burst out laughing.

"God... FUCKIN DAMNIT..." I smacked myself in the face a few times, and headed down stairs, trying to to fall over, and walk in a straight line at the same time.

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**Sorry its so short...**

**BUT WHY IS ICHIMARU GIN SO FUCKING CUUUUUUUUUTE?! AND!! AND... Gin is alcohol. WTF!? He's so awesome he makes my head spin, though that could be the alcohol... H'es like a fox! I lave foxes! And then I realized ZOMG!! HE looks like a FOX, and I loved him even more. I mean, SURRRRE... I love ichigo an all... but isn't Gin-chan just ichigo with a bit longer hair and closed eyes?? YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS. DAMN STRAIGHT. I WUUUUUUUUUUUUUUV THEM. Ha, its like the stereotypical drunk, telling everyone they love them. BUT ID O!! Isn't 'GIN-KUN' the most fun thing to say? Like... ever! Besides 'por que' and like... yeah I dunno. Whatever. But, answer this honestly... who HASN'T... kissed a picture of an anime character on they're computer/tv/book/whatever? SERIOOOOOOOOUS. I nearly spilled my beer when that picture came up. I mean C'MOOOOOOON... Wikipedia Ichimaru Gin... and that is the fucking cutest picture... Seriously. His eyes are always closed so its like he's kissing you back, I mean suuuuuuuuuuure, he's an anime bcharacter and not real... but I can DREAM KAN'T I?! I mean... that's the point of this site... kinda.. not really but yeah... RIGHT?! YEAH!**

**This picture is why my screen is fuckin COVERED in little smears. Seriously.**

**http : **/**/www . angelfire . com/dragon/subna/images/ichimaru **(insert underscore here!!) **grin**** . JPG**


	5. The Freeze!

**If you can tell me why the name of the chapter is 'the freeze' holy shit, you're a genius. I'll give you a hint. "CLIFF HANGER..." and uh... yeah, its got to do with music. Just like EVERYTHING ELSE.  
**

**ANOTHER CHAPTER YO!! YAY FOR EXTREMELY COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF DIALOGUE! I was going to make it Yuzu who went up to tell him it was dinner, but she would have noticed the drunkenness. Karin is apathetic enough for it to pass under the radar, JUST BARELY. She probably just took it as sleepiness. AND! Hichigo is kinda an uke-ish little wuss in this though. BUT HE'S NOT GOING TO BE AN UKE!**

* * *

**Ichigo's POV**

"_**As if smacking us will help!**_" He said gleefully.

"Shut up. Don't talk to me during dinner neither!"

"_**Either.**_"

"Whatever! Shut up."

I make it down the stairs without tripping somehow and enter the room.

"Did you have a nice sleep Ichi-nii?" Yuzu asks me.

I shuffle over to the table.

"_**AWWWWWWWW... Ichi-kun... Did you enjoy your sleep?**_"

I sit down. "Very.. Much so..." Karin looks at me suspiciously.

"Whaaaat?"

"Nothing. Eat."

I pick up my chop sticks, fingers fumbling. Oh dear... this is going to be hard.

**Karin's POV**

Ichigo was acting very strangely. He was now muttering under his breath, failing to pick up even rice with his chopsticks. This goes under 'Ichigo is losing it, Reason # 74'.

"Ichigo are you really that tired?" Dad asked him. He obviously realized his strange behavior too.

His head shot up. "I guess I was. I hope I'm not.. Getting sick. Chad was sick... yesterday."

Then he hit himself in the head. And shouted 'no'. Reasons 75 and 76. What the hell. There was then a shimmer behind him. It slowly took form.

"ICHIGO BEHIND YOU!" I pointed rather obviously, spilling Yuzu's juice beside me.

"KAAAARRIIIIN!" Yuzu whined.

Ichigo spun around and whacked the hollow.

"You BASTARD!" It then let out a yelp of surprise.

He then yanked it up, and ran off, dragging it behind him upstairs.

"What the hell." I then picked up her glass. "Sorry Yuzu."

"Language Karin..." Dad said, looking rather traumatized, before heading into the kitchen. He came back, set the tub of juice by us, and drank directly out of the sake bottle.

I wish I wasn't the ONLY ONE... Who actually saw what happened there.

"Can I go check on Ichigo?" Dad nodded and slowly continued eating. Yuzu just looked confused.

I silently crept upstairs and knocked in Ichigo's door, and went in.

I saw a shocked hollow choking...

I then heard the puking sounds coming from the bathroom.

I picked up Ichigo's notebook from the desk.

_WHACK!_

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO ICHI-NII!!" _Whack, whack!_

"_**What the hell!? Stop!**_" It then got up and ran into the bathroom.

"LEAVE ICHI-NII ALONE!" I run after the hollow with the notebook.

"_**KING! HELP!**_" He runs into the bathroom, but when I get there he's gone.

There is only Ichigo, puking over the toilet.

"ICHIGO WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?"

"PLEASE! Karin... you can't tell dad... hic'bout this..."

"Ichigo... are... are you DRUNK?!" I _CAN'T BELIEVE_ I didn't realized this earlier!

The glimmer behind Ichigo manifests again, and the hollow returns.

"WHAT THE HELL!? ARE YOU HIDING A HOLLOW? WHY IS IT HERE?!" I raise the notebook and he flinches, and ducks behind Ichigo.

"Karin, leave him alone! And stop using me as a human sh-eel((shield))!"

**Hichigo's POV**

"_**BUT SHE'LL HIT ME!**_"

"She's got a notebook you moron!" He pulls me off him. I only cling to him more.

"_**KING!**_" I whine.

"_King?_" The bitch looks at King confused.

"Yeah. Long story." He makes more attempts to shove me off, but I respond by digging my nails into his back.

"_**MAKE HER PUT IT DOWN!**_"

"Karin. Please?"

"NO! WHY IS THAT THING HERE?!" I stick out my blue tongue at her.

She swings at me with it again, and both me and King step out of the way. But as luck would have it, he trips over my feet, clumsy idiot, and he falls over me, no make that ON me, in the tub.

The one called Karin looks shocked.

"You can't be serious..." She says dryly.

"Hey King..." Ichigo looks down at me and blushes. Well, blushes MORE. He tries to get up and I grab his collar and pull him close.

"_**Whaaaaaaaaaat... Don't want ta stay an play King?**_" I laugh as his eyes widen comically, and he makes a strange gurgling noise.

Then Karin stomps over and pulls him off me, and I back away hurriedly into the back of the tub.

"_**You stay away from me!!**_"

"Karin! Stop it!" King pulls her away and helps me out of the tub.

"WHAT IS IT DOING HERE!?" He pressures.

"_**I'm his! Leave us alone!**_" I cling to him again as he holds me as far away from her as possible. Well, as far away as you can in a bathroom this small.

"His? HIS?"

"NO-NOT LIKE THAT! It's! IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!" He pushes me away blushing, and drags here into the hall and shuts me in the bathroom.

I laugh and return to our inner world.

We take her into the room, and sit her down on the bed. We sit in the chair.

"Karin... You can't tell anyone. Okay?"

"About you being drunk, or the hollow? Cuz the hollow isn't happening."

"KARIN, PLEASE!"

"You can't be serious! You can't tell me your ... DOING IT with a HOLLOW!"

He sputters.

"WE'RE NOT! IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!"

"_**Poor wittle king... Gettin' all flustered...**_"

"_YOU SHUT UP!_ Karin, he is my hollow!"

"I don't CARE who does who! WHY IS IT HERE!?"

"IT'S NOT LIKE THAT! HE IS MY INNER HOLLOW! Have you NOTICED... we look EXACTLY the same?!"

"... Aside from the clothes, the hair, the skin, the eyes, the height, the tongue and the HOLE IN THE CHEST you mean? No, I can' say I did!"

"_**I'm not ACTUALLY taller than you am I King?**_"

"HIchigo get out here!"

"_**HELL NO! SHE'LL KILL ME!**_"

"...Is he ACTUALLY... Y'know... INSIDE YOU?" She asked.

"Yeah. He won't come out cuz you'll freak out."

"_**Don't make me sound like such a wuss, you prude!**_"

"I'M A PRUDE?!"

"..." Karin just looks at him.

"No, not you Karin, YOU!"

She doesn't even blink.

"Do you SWEAR you won't freak out and hit him?"

"...Fine. As long as he won't kill me!"

"_**I wouldn't DARE. King would kill ME. Well, try to anyways.**_" I say popping up behind Ichigo.

"See! He's not taller than me! We're the same height!"

"You're in a chair Ichigo, I can't tell." She huffs.

He stands up and turns me around so we're back to back.

"No, he's got a good inch, two inches on you..." She says, squinting.

"_**HAHA SHORTY!**_"

"Fuck you!"

"_**No reason to be so macho and defensive King... She doesn't care who tops.**_" I grin as I seem to have struck his prude nerve once again.

"AS IF YOU'D TOP! YOU WISH!"

Karin inches for the door. "Uh... Yeah, appearently it is like that, which y'know, is every weirder than you even having an inner hollow, y'know thinking of you and ... THAT... So I'm going to go downstairs... and pretend you're still sleeping... and I never came up here to wake you up. Ever..."

"_**I'M NOT A THING! I AM NOT A THAT!**_"

"Yeah! He's a person too! Well... actually... HE'S ME!"

"Whatever makes you sleep at night Ichigo..." She responds.

"KARIN!"

She ignores him, and continues downstairs.

"..."

"_**Way-**_"

"NOT ONE WORD HOLLOW!! NOT A WORD!"

"_**To clear THAT up.**_"

Silence.

"_**And y'know... If I was you... that would be like... creepy incest masturbation...**_"

I receive a glare, courtesy of his prude nerve.

"_**Like if you were in your shinigami form... and you an... well... KON**_"

"SHUT UP HOLLOW!" He hollers and kicks me.

**Ichigo's brain. A dialogue of self and conscious...**

**Act I, Scene I: Enter Ichigo's mind.**

I turn around and use my nearly patented Kurosaki Face Stomp. I used this time, without comedic intent.

He looks up at me... his eyes are wide. With fear, hate, and distrust.

He stays on the ground, holding his cheek.

I wish I hadn't hit him.

_No! He deserved it!_

"_**I thought... I wasn't a thing...**_" His voice is a tone I've never heard before. Deep hints of sarcasm, and anger, echoing a little bit like normal. But there, with some light amount of ... hurt, maybe?

I turn around and lay down on the bed. Looking at the ceiling... watching it spin slightly. My stomach is still slightly upset from the puking and alcohol.

I close my eyes and enter my inner world.

**ACT I, Scene II.**

I land on the building, still laying down. I see Zangetsu to my right, walking towards me.

"**You know... That was the first time you had ever gotten close to getting along.**"

"What? We've..." I pause. No, we had never gotten along.

"It's not that I hate him completely!" I protest. I had never REALLY hated him. I dislike having a hollow, yeah, I spend my time hunting and killing them... But he was the reason I was still alive. He helped me out in battle... at first without my knowledge... and SURE, he taunts me constantly, swears to kill my family and friends, I'm sure that little interaction with Karin sure didn't help any...

"**You don't hate him.**" He said.

"No..." I tried to shake my head, but I got too dizzy.

"**You either need to drink more, or sober up. It goes all downhill now, or later. Later there is a possibility you can miss out on it though. If you drink enough to pass out.**" He holds up a bottle.

"**Your choice. Think straight, or do more stupid things. But do something weird or something you don't want to explain, you won't have the alcohol to blame...**"

"...Zangetsu?"

"**...Yes?**"

"Are yo psychic?"

"... **Yes Ichigo. I'm PSYCHIC****.**"

"WELL THEN WHY DON'T YOU HELP ME MORE OFTEN?!"

"**Ichigo, I'm not psychic.**"

"...Damn. Don't do that."

"**It was a stupid question.**"

"Yeah, gimme that damn bottle."

"**Are you going to have something to say, or are you going to think to yourself? If so, that pole is very handy.**"

"Well... Hey, you know my hollow the best right?"

"**Yes, we spend hours upon hours talking, **_**sometimes**_** we talk all night. Just the two of us. We talk about girls, boys, and the most recent episode of Ghost Bust.**"

"..."

"**No, I'm not serious. He hates me. He's only talked to me a maximum of two times. We are solitary creatures.**"

"You're not creatures though..."

"**Are you going to beat about the bush, or do I have to force a revelation on you?**"

"...Could you give me a hint?"

"**You don't hate him, and never have.**"

"..."

"**Less subtle? Point in an another direction?**"

"Please."

"**You two are not so different. You can each learn things from each other and change.**"

"But...D ..Does he hate me?"

"**He's not here, he can't hear us, you don't need to whisper.**"

"Could we ever get along?"

"**... You could try... But... right now... He's leaving the house... Uh, he's flash stepped somewhere... You should find him.**"

"YA THINK?!"

I snap up from my own body. I notice the bottle Zangetsu gave me in my hand.

"Huh... That was easy..." But NOW I've got to FIND me!

"At least he doesn't have my body..." I mutter as I jump out the window, into the night.

* * *

**OOOOOH WHAT A GOOD PLACE TO STOP! YAY! Crazy amount of dialogue... About 5 pages long... YAAAAAAAAAAH BOIIIIIIIIIIIIII!**

**You get a high five if you can figure out what Zangetsu was hinting at, and Ichigo was beating about the bush about. It's not toooooooooo hard... I hope , D**

**Oh well.**

**Oooh, and you guys better feel lucky!**

**There was a FREE Subhumans and Autistic Youth, and CRIMINAL DAMAGE (FUCK THE WHAT!) show... that I missed... so I could write this. YEAH. YEAH! Do you KNOW who those BANDS ARE? YEAH. Feel DAMN PRIVILEDGED. **

**Yeah, actually, I just forgot about it cuz I was a **_**little absent minded**_** If you get my drift**

**As a very buzzed thrasher punk kid said, "I don't have a train of thought. I have a bee. A bee of thought, and it just flies around. Its kinda annoying, but at least I haven't gotten stung. YET."**

**Yeah, that was me. FUCKING DEEP, RIGHT? :D**

**That was a proud moment for me.**


	6. Shut the fuck up

**Yo my fizzle!(fanz, and no I'm not a wigger, I just really like acting like an idiot. Its... PHUN! With a 'ph'.)This... is quite possibly, 98 dialogue. And I've decided to stop typing their slurred word. It will confuse me and spell check hates it.**

* * *

**Ichigo's POV**

I open my mouth to yell, but decide against it. I'm still drunk, and Dad, Yuzu, and Karin have NO idea what's going on. So I think to myself.

_If I were a hollow where would I go? __**Home**__... But that's in my head._

I scowl. Its like I can FEEL Zangetsu and his drunken 'aww'ing. FUCK! This leaves... The school, the park, the river, the cemetary... and uh... the grocery store. I cross 'grocery store' off my list of places to go, and flash step to the school.

**Hichigo's POV**

_Stupid Ichigo and his stupid face stomp, and his stupid scowl, and his stupid blonde hair_... I make a list mentally.

_His stupid sword, his stupid sandals, his stupid stuffed lion, his stupid un-fun ways, his stupid grades, his stupid sisters, his stupid dad_...

"_**FUCK!**_" I exclaim. His head still has all the alcohol.

I wonder if I can go back from so far away. Probably not. I flash step from the park, back to his house.

"_**FUCK!**_" _His stupid ass not being here_. I add to the list. Maybe I can enlist _KON_ to help me. NAAAH... That fucker. I don't even know where he is. Luckily there hasn't been a hollow.

"_**WHAT THE FUCK AM I SAYING!?**_" I shake my head. I need to drink some more. But I have to find Ichigo to do that.

"_**ICHIGO**_" I call out with my mind, as if that will work.

(Unbeknownst to Hichigo, on the way to the cemetary, an Ichigo falls out of the sky to look around wildly. He could _SWORN_ he heard someone call his name!)

"_**ICHIGO**_" I try again.

(Ichigo looks around bewildered. "WHAT THE HELL?!"

"**Hichigo is calling you. From your mind.**"

"Zangetsu? I can talk to you like this too?!"

"**YES.**"

Ichigo shrugs and mutter cool.)

"Hichigo! Is that you?"

I yelp in surprise. That sounded like ICHIGO! "_**ICHGO? WAS THAT YOU?**_"

"YEAH NUMBNUTS! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?"

"_**WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?!**_"

"I ASKED YOU FIRST!"

"_**I asked you second.**_"

"Are we seriously going to do this?"

"_**I dunno. Where are you**_?"

"Out looking for YOU! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?!"

"_**Home.**_"

"... Isn't that in my head?"

"_**Technically. I'm at your house though.**_"

"_**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!**_" I was pushed out of the window sill onto the floor. "_**YOU BASTARD!**_"

"Says the guy who ran away!"

"_**I didn't run away! You did!**_"

"Did not!"

"_**Really? Cuz you certainly weren't in your body!**_"

"I was in the inner world you dumbass!"

"_**FUCKER! THAT'S MY HOME!**_"

"It's MY HEAD!!"

"_**Anyways, I need more sake.**_" I vanished inside and came face to face with Zangetsu.

He handed me a bottle and pushed me down.

"**We need to talk.**"

"Really? That's funny. Mr. Stoic Flagpole-Sitta!" (a/n:!!Anyone who finds where I got that gets a gold star!)  
"**Yes really.**"

"...Well get talking!"

"**You are a hollow, correct?**"

"No, I'm a fuckin bunny."

"**Why get offended when someone calls you one?**"

"I don't."

"**When Ichigo did, you did.**"

"Well, he gave me a name."

Zangetsu just looked at me. Well, I assume that, I can't really see through the shades.

"SO WHAT?!"

"**Why get so angry if it doesn't matter?**"

"He gave me a name, and WHAT THE FUCK! I TOLD YOU! THE SECOND TIME I'VE SPOKEN TO YOU!"

"**I've forgotten.**"

"NO IT DOESN'T MATTER!"

I receive a black face, pointed towards me once again.

"He's only this nice cuz he HAS to deal with me." (a/n: AWWWWWWW, Hichigo is turningn into a depressed drunk. In other news: THE ROAST OF FLAVA FLAV IS ON!! FUCK YEAH! Or should I say 'YEA BOI'?)

"**...**"

"Humans are like that! They have feelings and obligations! If he didn't need me for him to not die in battle, he'd get rid of me for sure!" I pull open my robe once again and point to the hole in my chest. "THIS MEANS I DON'T HAVE TO BOTHER WITH THAT BULLSHIT!" I return to Ichigo's world.

"You look pissed. What happened?"

"_**Shut the fuck up.**_"

**Ichigo's POV.**

"**Don't bother Ichigo, he's depressed.**"

"_What for?_"

"**...He refuses to tell me, but I know. You try to talk to him. He's you after all.**"

I look at him. He's sitting my chair at the desk, facing the wall, drinking. I walk over and sit on the desk and look at him.

"_**What King?**_"

"Is something wrong?"

"_**No. Go away.**_"

"Was that a please?"

"_**No.**_"

"Would You like to say please?" I smirk.

"_**No.**_"

"...Will you? For me?"

"_**...No.**_"

"Please?"

"_**Would you please go away?**_"

"This is my room, I'm afraid I can't do that."

"_**You... fuckin ASSHOLE! NEITHER YOU OR ZANGETSU WILL LEAVE ME ALONE! WHERE THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO GO?!**_" I shoved him hard off the desk.

"I'M THE ASSHOLE?!" He put on his astonished face. "I'M THE ASSHOLE? YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS! YOU THREATEN MY FRIENDS, MY FAMILY, MY LIFE, ALL THE FUCKIN TIME!!"

"_**I COULDN'T DO THAT! YOU KNOW THAT! YOU'D KILL ME, AND MUCH MORE, YOU WON'T EVEN LET ME CONTROL YOU!**_"

"WHY DO YOU NEED CONTROL?"

"_**I'VE BEEN IN YOUR HEAD, WITH THAT SILENT MOTHER FUCKER FOR DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG?! I SLEEP, AND FUCKIN SEE WHAT YOU DO. THAT'S IT! I'VE SPOKEN TO ZANGETSU A TOTAL OF THREE TIMES NOW! WITH THE SMALL AMOUNT OF HOLLOWS COMING THROUGH, WHAT THE FUCK!?**_"

"CALM DOWN!" He shook my shoulders.

"_**FUCK YOU!**_"

_BLAM!_

"_**WHAT THE FUCK NOW?!**_"

"AAAAUGH!"

"AHA! You're hollow! I knew it!" Clogs-Hat jumps in through the window, and lands on the desk.

I run to the un-safe safety of his inner mind.

"**H-**"

"Seriously, Zangetsu, shut the flying fuck up." I sigh, and finish the bottle of sake.

* * *

**Yeah, they have a TON. Like I wish I had right now. WHAT THE FUCK! I'm getting sober again I don't have any more! I'm going to fuckin bed. The roast o flava flav is over... yep. I'm bored. DEAAAAAAAAAL. But yeah, its kinda short. HICHI/ICHI stuff... NEXT CHAPTER! I FUCKIN SWEAR!**


	7. It Took The Whole Night To Believe

**Well, this ought to be good, I'm writing it sober, as there is no more alcohol. WAAAAAAH! I wish I could get a starving artist fund/grant thing. All the money would go to booze. Okay, yeah some to drugs, and maybe a LITTLE to food. Please don't hold an intervention. **

**And uh, if it wasn't clear, the spike in Ichigo's/Hichgo's reiatsu cuz they got so angry. And Renji sensed it and was like 'wtf', and went to go check it out. So now he's there. YEAH.**

**Careful at the end if your diabetic. (LOLZ! I JOKE!)**

* * *

**Ichigo's POV**

"Ichigo... That was you're hollow..." He stares at me over his fan.

"Yeah, but-" I swear I can feel Hichigo flinch.

"But what was it doing here?!"

"LISTEN!" I grab his collar and pull him down from the window sill. "You tell, NO ONE. Understand? NO ONE!" He nods slowly.

I sigh and let him go. "Sit." I push the chair at him, and he slowly sits down.

"His name is Hichigo." I start.

"...What is?"

"THE HOLLOW!" What a moron!

"You gave it a name?"

"YES! ITS MY HOLLOW!"

He 'aww's from behind his fan and laughs..

"Call him Hichigo, not thing, it, hollow, or anything like that-"

"But..."

"It's a black and white issue. You either do, or you don't, and I kick your ass. Okay?"

"_**Geeze, as if I wouldn't kick his ass too?**_"

"Make that we kick your ass."

"_Do you want to come out, or stay?"_

"Uh... Ichigo?"

"Yeah?"

"...Are you...uh..."

"YEAH."

"Okay, just making sure."

"Yeah."

"_**Stop saying 'yeah' King...**_" He appears beside me.

"And... If I wasn't supposed to tell anyone, why would you tell me not to call -WAAAAAAGH!"

"_**No, my name is NOT 'waaaaaaagh', nor are you close.**_"

"Urahara Kisuke." He extends a hand.

"_**I know who you are.**_" He scoffs.

"Well, okay, excuse my trying to be polite..."

"Not really." I say. "So. You've busted in here-"

"_**Found out King's secret**_" He raises his strange tattooed eyebrow.

"And now, you must go, and swear-"

"_**Upon your life!**_" Hichigo added in.

"To not tell a single person."

"_**Person, soul, reaper, cat, dog, hollow, ghost, rock, air particle, or-**_"

"I get the point. I guess... I'll leave you to... y'know whatever you were doing. Drinking. WAIT! In your world you've got to be 21 don't you!"

"So?"

"...You delinquent." He grins and leaves.

"_**Ha ha Chief. You're a delinquent.**_" (A/n: F.L.C.L. Kicks so much ass.)

"I'm not a delinquent! You forced me!"

"_**If I asked would you have said no?**_"

"...Maybe." He sniggers at me. "BESIDES! You should be thanking me!"

"_**For what?**_"

"Defending your ass back there."

"_**Oh, pfffft. I can stick up for myself y'know.**_" He takes another drink. "_**It don't taste so bad now...**_"

"**That's as close as a thanks you'll ever get Ichigo.**"

"_Thanks Zangetsu. I really, really couldn't figure that out._"

Siiiigh I sit down on the bed.

" _**Are you gonna pass out, huh King?**_" He jumps on the bed next to me, glaring. "_**Gonna leave me here to go back to your stupid head where all there is to sleep on is buildings?**_"

"...I'm not that tired..." I lie. "And... You could... I dunno, sleep in the closet..."

"_**Oh great, I get to smell like that Kuchiki bitch.**_"

"She's not a bitch Hichi."

"_**Fine, deny that, but she DID smell funny.**_"

"Did not."

"_**Oh right, she smelled like you.**_"

"What the hell do you mean by that?!"

**Hichigo's POV**

I laugh at King's face.

"_**I mean... You're a human. You smell like one. I wonder if I smell like hollow...**_" I sniffing my arm, my robe, and then my leg.

"Well, I'm a human, and I smell like human, but only smell that way to other things..."

"_**Oooh, you're right. Here!**_" I shove my elbow in his face. "_**Smell like anything?**_"

He sniffs. "How the fuck should I know what hollow smells like?" He pauses. "Wait... Wait... Wait for it..."

"_**What am I waiting for?**_" It is awkward being held like this. Elbow up, sitting on some strange squashy bed.

"It... smells like..." He sniffs farther up my arm till he's sniffing my shoulder, and then my neck.

"_**What are you doing?**_" I try to pull away but he's holding me.

"Wait! I'd have to say... Rain..."

"_**I smell like RAIN? You CAN'T be serious King...**_"

"Rain... and..." He inhales deeply. "Hmm... I dunno something else."

"_**Yeah, hollow."**_

"Or sake"

"_**OOH, good one. But seriously. Rain? What the hell does rain smell like?**_"

"You!"

"_**If I smell like rain, you must smell like strawberries.**_" I huff.

"Now, THAT'S ridiculous."

"_**SO IS RAIN!**_"

"You smell like rain, and I smell like strawberries. Fine."

"_**Ichigo, you idiot, its impossible for someone like you to smell like strawberries.**_"

"What do you mean '_someone like me_?" He looks at me indignantly. "Besides YOU'RE the one that said it."

"_**It's true. You use way to much 'Old Spice' to smell like strawberries.**_" I cross my arms. IT'S A FACT!

"I DO NOT!"

"_**How would you know?**_"

"How would YOU know?!"

" _**I'm YOU!**_"

"Then neither of us knows!"

"_**Fuck, what kind of psychological deep metaphysical mumbo jumbo is this?!**_"

"I have no idea, but I don't smell like strawberries."

"_**Prove it!**_"

"FUCKIN SMELL ME!"

I grab his arm.

"_**What did you do? Spill sake everywhere? Drench yourself in it?**_"

"Did not! I just spilt it!"

"_**Over your ENTIRE BODY?!**_"

**Ichigo's POV**

"FUCK YOU!" and with that, I swatted him.

In retaliation he flipped me over on the bed.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU- OW!"

"_**I'm a clumsy drunk!**_"

"What? LEGGO MY ARM!"

"_**SAY IT!**_"

"OW! NOT THAT FAR!"

"_**Say it, Bitch!**_"

" I'm a clumsy drunk! OW!" I pull my arm back. "Jesus, man... Ow. Way to nearly dislocate it."

"_**You live in a hospital, idiot.**_"

"It's not like that makes it HURT any LESS!" I stifle a yawn.

"_**AWWWWWWWW, is wittle King hurt? Is wittle King tired? Does wittle King need to take a nappy-poo?**_"

"...NAPPY-POO?! WHERE THE FLYING FUCK DID YOU GET THAT?!"

"_**... I have no idea. Shut up."**_

"Sleep in the closet, smell like Rukia, or sleep on a building. Whatever. I'm going to bed." I lie down.

"_**Don't forget to change into yer PJ's wittle King!**_"

"AAAAAAAGH. Shut up. My head is starting to hurt."

"_**Does King need help?**_"

"NO! I need sleep, you freak."

"_**KIIIIIIIING!**_" He starts to poke me in the arm.

"Stop it!" I feebly swat him away.

"_**KIIIIIIIIIING!**_"

"Quit yer bitchin'!"

He pokes me in the stomach.

"Gone TOO FAR!" I get up.

"_**King...**_" He whines. "_**I don't want to smell like Rukia, or sleep on a building.**_"

"Tough luck!" I open my dresser and get out my sleeping clothes. I turn the lights off.

"_**What ya prude! I've seen you naked! We're the same fuckin' person!**_" He laughs. "_**Got any fer me?**_"

"No" I growl and toss him a shirt and pants. His eyes are oddly glowing in the darkness.

I walk over to the bed and crawl under the covers.

"_**Seriously though King. Are you really going to make me sleep in Rukia's closet? She's probably got some sort of weird bunny thing that will happen if someone sleeps there.**_"

"Bunny thing? It doesn't hurt to bad, it mostly just startling. Yeah. 'Night." I close my eyes, lying on my back.

"What are you doing?" I feel him slide into bed next to me.

He does not respond, but scoots closer.

I give him an annoyed look, but it fails, as he can't see it. I see his gold eyes Its like they're looking straight at me.

He scoots closer.

"Pushing it..." I grumble.

He scoots even CLOSER, until his right next to me, head on my chest.

"Wha-" I gasp as he wraps his arm around me.

"_**I can't feel emotions King...**_" His voice echoes in the silence. It sounds sad.

"I bet you can. You just don't know it." I pat him on the sholder.

"_**Nah, I can't. I've got the emotional range of hole in my chest, which is none.**_"

"Haven't you ever felt anything?"

"_**No. I only get compulsions. Sleep, breathe, fight, kill...**_"

"So you have no idea what happiness, or sadness, or anything like that is?"

He shakes his head.

"_**But I imagine... sometimes, that something happens. There, where the hole is.**_"

"What happens?" By this point, I have no idea how I'm responding, I'm barely awake, and from the sound of it neither is he.

"_**... I dunno...**_" The response was slow. "_**Like... sometimes... it feels like I can't breathe, and its not I'm not out of breath or tired. Sometimes it gets uncomfortable... Like... I'm usually cold, because I have no way of warming myself... But, its not like, something happening, its just... Uncomfortable. It doesn't seem right. Something isn't right. Like right now though... It feels like... something is there. Its like... the warmth from you, is spreading to me... and my chest. And the hole. It feels warm.**_"

I am barely conscious, and not listening to a word he says. I have no idea if he's still talking. I my arm from under him, to his back.

"_**Its like... I take all the things I hear about... And what they're supposed to be like... And I can give the weird things in my chest names, but I don't know if that's what they are. I have no way of knowing. Like... Like now..."**_

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

**Hichigo's POV**

I don't know how I'm still talking. I'm so tired. My eyes are closed. My speech is slurred and slow. I can hardly understand myself. But I keep talking.

"_**Right now... This... This is what I imagine... being warm and fuzzy feels like. Almost happiness, almost... a floating feeling... I'm... I'm happy..." **_I nuzzle my King neck.

"_**Night King..."**_ I wait for a reply, but there is none. I blink, move my lips against his neck, and go to sleep.

* * *

**JESUS! AUGH. AAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUGH. IT'S SO SWEEEEEEEEEET. ITS TOO SWEET! IT TASTE BAD ITS SO SWEET. BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH. I am sad I wrote something so sappy. Yeah, Hichi got a bit wuss-bag at the end, but Ichigo's gonna be his bitch. I promise. Seriously, he's too shy when it comes to that stuff, NOT TO BE. Anyways. School starts again next week, so this may or may not slow. I doubt it. Prolly a chappy every 2 days. I'd say that's a safe bet, so check then. **

**No one got a gold star, OR a high five I'll have you know...**

**Dunno about the other story, I hit a wall with it. That story, I REALLY kinda have to be on somethin to write. Its just easier.**


	8. The Purple In Me

**Mango-Passion fruit tea, is SO fuckin' BOMB!**

_**"And the smell of pajamas**_

_**Is what makes me feel frivol**_

_**There are minutes for sleeping**_

_**But we didn't have minutes to spare"**_

_**Kids On Holiday, Animal Collective**_

* * *

Ichigo awoke that morning to find his bed empty, and his pajamas in a neat folded pile on the desk.

"Augh! My head is killing me..." He glanced at the clock. "I hardly remember any thing that fuckin happened last night... FUCK... I'm going back to bed." And with that he went back to sleep.

Far away from Zangetsu, there was a small building. Smaller than the rest, with hardly any windows. Deep within the basement, was Hichigo.

Hichigo was huddled in his corner almost shaking.

"Why, why, why? I can believe I said that-did that! He KNOWS! What am I going to Do?! What if he doesn't? No! He does! There's no know he doesn't!"

"He claws at his hair, shaking his head back and forth.

"I shouldn't of! But I was drunk! So was he! I slept in his hed! In his arms! AUGH! What IS this?! What kind of hell induced Ichigo spawned feeling is this? I have no feelings and emotions! What IS THIS?! I'm uncomfortable without him, but with him it only dulls. Its like I'm floating, but there's such a strong fear of falling! FEAR? I don't feel fear!"

He wraps his arms around his legs and rocks back and forth.

"I don't feel! I'm not supposed to feel! I'm just sitting here talking to myself. FUCK!"

With that, he got up and flash stepped through the streets. He passed Zangetsu as a white blur. Zangetsu didn't seem to notice.

When he reached his destination he paused, as if debating something, and went into the building.

"Fuck this, I'm getting smashed." He said. He opened a bottle and started drinking.

**Zangetsu's POV**

I noticed Hichigo's blur towards the building where he stashed all the sake. I thought about this for a moment, but did nothing. I would wait until he was drunk, so he could not dodge my questions, nor deny things as easily.

There I waited until I figured he was between tipsy and flat on his ass rip-roaring drunk, muttering to himself, spilling alcohol all over the place.

I found him leaning against a wall, bottle clutched desperately in his right hand.

"Hichigo" I spoke.

"Zangetsu maaaaaaan! Pop a squat! Wannnna drink?" He slurred. I however was not so eager to have a headache, and risk falling from the perch I pondered upon.

"You are getting drunk again?"

"YEAH!" He cheered.

"Why? It was only last night that you and Ichigo were drunk. Are you addicted so quickly?"

"Addicted? PFFFFFFT, NAH!" He took another swig. "I just figured I'd, Y'KNOW, drink away my troubles and bluuueeesss... (Hic)"

"What troubles?"

"I've told you, yesterday." He paused. "That I wasn't gonna tell ya' again."

"I told you I forgot."

"NAAAAAAAAAH, you bastard liar! You did not. You just want me to say it again. Forget that shit, I'm puttin that behind me... And going into denial." He waved his hand at me, well, in my general direction.

"Putting what behind you?"

"I'M IN DENIAL! BUGGER OFF!"

"What's your favorite number?"

"...What?" He took another drink. "I dun have one."

"Surely you must take a liking to a number. Maybe you love it. For instance, my favorite number...is 63."

"That's... a really, really, DUMB number."

"What number is better, then?"

"Fifteen!"(A/N: Get it? Ichi-Go?) He blurted. "FUCK! GODDAMN IT! YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE!"

"Yes. Yes I did."

"Bastard!" He takes another big gulp. "Takin' advantage of me in my drunken state..."

"Regardless, don't go into denial, and Ichigo doesn't have any clue. He wouldn't know a crush from a cup if it sang and danced a song and was one of those damn people you see in amusement parks with the big plastic eyes, and the big stuffed detachable heads." I pause. "Seriously, he's got no idea whatsoever."

"How do you know?"

"If you had been paying attention instead of huddled in a corner crying to yourself you would of heard him say 'I don't remember anything that happened last night'." His face faltered.

"Whaddya MEAN he don't remember anything?"

"What? I thought you would be happy knowing he doesn't remember you kissing him." I tease.

"I DID NOT!"

"Don't deny it. It will save you time."

"I ain't denying nothing!" He sticks his blue tongue out at me.

"See? Was that so hard?"

"What?" He looked very confused for a few moments, then realized. "Oh! Friggin A! I hate double NEGATIVES!" He smacked his forehead a couple times and looked back to me. "What do you want?"

"Don't fuck this up."

**Ichigo's POV**

"AAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH..." I groan as I wake up for the second time. I turn over to look at the clock. 2:47. Pfffft. I guess I missed school.

'Hichigo.'

"_**AH! Oh... Hey king. How goes it?**_"

"...Are... Are you drunk?"

"_**Almost.**_"

"... Did you have a killer headache this morning?"

"_**No duh.**_"

"...And to get rid of it you drank more?"

"_**Yep. Wanna join me?**_"

"...Are you serious?"

"_**Should I not be?**_"

"SERIOUSLY?"

"_**Yer confusin' me King...**_"

"Oh, and uh, thanks... for y'know, folding my pajamas." I added awkwardly.

"_**Doin' what now?**_"

"Nevermind."

There was a thump as he came into my world. He walked over to me and glared at me.

"_**I'f yer thankin' me fer somethin' what was it?**_"

"FOLDING MY PAJAMAS!" I said forcefully edging away from his very very very close head, to the other side of the bed.

"_**I don't gets a thank you for the sake neither?**_"

"...Yeah, thanks for that too."

"_**So I repeat my offer. Wanna drink?**_" He shoves the bottle at me, spilling some on my bed.

"Oh goddamn it! No, I'm too tired, too confused, and besides. You would pass out before me anyways. Then it would be me. Drunk, alone, in my own house, with my sisters, and my dad, wondering what the hell happened."

"_**It's only 3 in the afternoon, King!**_"

"You've gotten drunk ONCE, and now you're acting like an alcoholic!"

"_**Am NOT!**_" He swatted at my shoulder.

"Oh, ouch. That really hurt through all these BLANKETS!" In hindsight I should not have taunted a drunk hollow.

He ripped off the blankets and punched me in the arm.

"OW! WHAT THE FUCK!"

"_**Did that hurt 'cha King?**_"

"If I said yes would you stop?"

"_**Only a maybe on that one chief!**_"

"Leave me alone. I'm still tired as hell." I roll over, pulling the blankets up.

"_**B... But King...**_" He whined.

"SSSSHHHHH!"

It was then he began prodding with his clawed fingernail.

"Stop, or I swear I will fucking kill you." The nail stopped prodding and I tried to go to sleep. Again.

A few moments passed, until I felt a weight on the bed beside me. I let this go. It got closer. I tried to inch away slightly, but apparently he was ON the covers, not under them, but maybe that was a good thing.

"_**King...**_" He repeated. I ignored him.

I then felt cold breath on my neck, and felt an arm wrap around my side. I gasped as I was pulled back, almost under him. _What the hell was he thinking?_ But I did not move.

* * *

**HEHEHE! I LAUGH! I gots more written, but this was the closest ending I could find. If you guys have any ideas on how to coerce(make/obligatory forcing/etc) Ichigo to tell Hichi a bed time story i would be eternally grateful.  
**

_**"I like it when I bump you an accident's a truth gate**_

_**I'm humbled in your pretty lens**_

_**I'll hold you don't you go**_

_**Sometimes you're quiet and sometimes I'm quiet. Hallelujah!**_

_**Sometimes I'm talkative and sometimes you're not talkative"**_

_**"Gotta crush high**_

_**Thought I crushed all I could**_

_**Crushed all I can then I touched your hand**_

_**Crush high**_

_**Don't want it to stop"**_

_**"And you couldn't really know cause its in my toes**_

_**And sometimes I wonder where'd that crush high go"**_

**Animal Collective - The Purple Bottle**

**And I'm almost done with the 'great escape' chapter!**

**And... uh... ****BonneNuit!****: WHAT ABOUT ARNOLD SWARZENAGER?! (confused look) I can't really look it up, but it anything with that guy sounds funny.**


	9. The Princess And The Not Pea

**Thanks for all your help guys! Oh, some of my infamous sarcasm there. No biggie.. Just y'know... WHATEVER... It's fine. It doesn't really matter. Whatever. You just take take take like a sponge, just sucking everybody of their love. WHATEVER. I ended up just winging it and finally came up with something on my OWN. So THANKS.**

* * *

A few moments passed, until I felt a weight on the bed beside me. I let this go. It got closer. I tried to inch away slightly, but apparently he was ON the covers, not under them, but maybe that was a good thing.

"_**King...**_" He repeated. I ignored him.

I then felt cold breath on my neck, and felt an arm wrap around my side. I gasped as I was pulled back, almost under him. _What the hell was he thinking?_ But I did not move.

I stayed still, not really knowing what to do. _What the hell was he thinking?_

"_**King...**_" He whispered in my ear.

I shivered.

"_**KIIIIIIIIIIIING**_" He repeated.

I would NOT lose this battle.

"_**Kiing... I'm bored...**_"

I held my ground, as well as my breath.

"_**Kiiiiiiiiiiing**_" He tried again.

I will not lose!

_GASP! SMACK!_

"_**WHAT THE HELL!?**_"

"That's MY LINE!!" I yelp trying to get as far away as humanly possible.

"_**That was uncalled for!**_"

"STOP STEALING MY LINES!"

"_**They're mine lines. You need to CALM DOWN.**_"

"NO! WHY THE FUCK DID YOU LICK MY EAR?!"

"_**You were ignoring me.**_"

"I'M TRYING TO FUCKIN SLEEP!"

"_**Just goes to show, don't ignore me.**_"

"YOU LICKED MY EAR!!"

"_**Really? I hadn't figured that out.**_"

"MY EAR FOR FUCK SAKE!"

"_**What? Are you some sort of pristine untouchable goddess?**_"

"I'd at least be a god."

"_**I'm not so sure about that.**_"

"MY FUCKING EAR!"

"_**We've established that Ichi-kun...**_"

"ICHI-KUN?!"

"_**Stop shouting.**_"

"Ichi-kun?"

"_**What. Do I not know you well enough? Besides the fact I spend every moment of every day with you? That's a bit ridiculous.**_"

"Then I can call you Hichi-kun?"

"_**You'd sound like a damn fool, but that's fine by me.**_"

"And you DON'T?"

"_**Nope. I'm fuckin classy.**_"

"..."

"_**Damn straight you don't have a retort for that!**_"

"It's so dumb it doesn't need O- GET OFF ME!"

"_**Stop yellin' King...**_" I struggled to try and shift him off my shoulders. His being drunk is not helping at all. He's like a _rag_ doll, it would be _so_ much easier if he was struggling...

"Get off."

"_**I don't think you realize the power of your words.**_"

"... What?" This guy makes no sense when, oh... wait... no I just got it. "GET _OFF_ OF ME! YOU _SICK FUCK_!" I increase my escaping maneuvers ten-fold.

"_**You're no fun, ya prude.**_"

"Back to the no fun? Okay! FINE." I huff and sit up in bed. "Getting drunk is fine, if I had a car I'd let you drive, if you REALLY want we can go with Keigo to one of HIS parties, but I draw the line at fucking with you. THE LINE HAS BEEN DRAWN! A BIG RED NEON GLOW IN THE DARK, MILE WIDE LINE!"

"_**I wanna see it.**_"

"...What?"

"_**The line. I wanna see it. It sounds pretty.**_"

"You can't be serious."

"_**Whatcha mean King?**_"

"Was 'pretty line' all out got out of that speech?"

"_**What speech?**_"

"Why do I even try. Go bother Zangetsu, I want to sleep."

"**Hell no. Don't dump him on me.**"

'HE'S GOING TO MOLEST ME!'

"**If you want to sleep, make him go to sleep.**"

'I'M NOT GOING TO DO ANYTHING LIKE "_THAT_"!'

"**You know, it's frightening your mind just instantly went there.**"

'... Har har. Seriously. How? Sing him a lullaby? Make him a glass of warm milk and tell him a story? Kiss him on the forehead and tuck him in? Making sure he's got his favorite stuffed animal?'

"**He doesn't have a stuffed animal.**"

'...Thanks for clearing that up. I wasn't su-'

"AAAAAAAAUGH! _UNHAND_ ME YOU_ BEAST_!" I sock him in the stomach as hard as I can.

"_**I TOLD YOU NOT TO IGNORE ME!**_" He yelled, holding his side.

"Just what the hell were you trying to do anyways?"

"_**You don't even know, yet you punch me. That's just mean.**_"

"**Or... You could just drink with him. Y'know, get the whole 'fun' thing crossed off his list..**"

'Now THAT'S a good plan, aside from the fact that it's awful.'

"_**STOP IGNORING ME!!**_"

"CHILL OUT!"

"_**But I'm bored...**_"

"What do you want to do?"

" _**I dunnnnnnno...**_"

"Well... I want to sleep."

"_**But I'm not tiiiiiiired!**_"

"Drink until you pass out."

"_**... But... it will take a while...**_"

"...You'll drink till you pass out?"

"_**Why not?**_"

"Besides the obvious reason?"

"_**You want to sleep or not?**_"

"Fine. Do what you will."

"_**But KIIIIIIIIIIIING...**_"

"What? Stop whining."

"**I'd go with a lullaby if you didn't suck at singing. Try a bedtime story.**"

"...Are you going to sleep in the closet or in my head?"

"_**OUTSIDE!**_" He cheered.

"You're going to need a sleeping bag... and maybe a tent then."

"_**KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!**_"

"WHAT!? C'MON!"

He looked at me pleadingly, which is very strange for a hollow, not that he's an average hollow by any stretch of means.

"Fine."

He cackles and dives under the covers.

"...What are you doing?"

"_**Hiding.**_"

"Fine. Suffocate. See if I care."

"..."

"See. This is me not caring, and going to sleep." Yep. NO REACTION whatsoever.

"_**mmmmphkmhp**_"

"Not responding."

"_**MMMMPHKMPH! MMMPH!**_"

"Okay. Shut up now."

"_**MMMPH! MMHMMHMPH! MMPH!**_"

I rip off the covers. "WHAT?"

"_**I was just saying 'mmph' you idiot. 'Mmph' You don't get that muffled under a comforter, a blanket and a sheet. Moron.**_"

"..."

"_**And y'know... I'm still not tired...**_"

"FER FUCK SAKE! I AM!"

"**Bedtime story.**"

"FINE! WOULD YOU LIKE A BEDTIME STORY??"

"_**No! Where the hell did you get that idea?**_"

"..." It's times like this when I wish, aside from the fact me and my family would be dead, I never became a shinigami.

"_**Fuck a bedtime story, I want a song!**_"

"..." _SMACK!_

"_**FUCK YOU!**_"

"I'm not singing."

"_**Fine. A story.**_"

"Fine."

I turned over.

"_**...**_"

"_**...**_"

"Stop not saying anything."

"_**Well? Get telling!**_"

"Once upon a time the end and- OW!"

"_**Tell me a real story!**_"

"LET GO OF MY HAIR!

"_**Tell me a fuckin story King!**_"

"FINE! There once was a prince who lived with his mother and father."

"_**OOOOOOOOOOOOH! What's it about?**_"

"You gonna shut up?"

"..."

"Okay, so... The prince needed a princess. A wife."

"_**This better not be the Princess and the Pea.**_"

"..."

"_**Seriously? I hate that one. Make up a new one.**_"

"God fucking damn it."

"_**FINE! Tell me the fucking Pea story, but make it interesting!**_"

"As interesting as a princess, a bunch of mattresses, and a pea can be. Okay." I sigh and lay down on my back. "So-"

"_**Oh! Make ... Tatsuki the princess!**_"

"No. Fuck that, I'm not changing it."

"_**I think you are.**_"

"TO WHAT?! KENPACHI AND THE YURCHIRU UNDER THE MATTRESS?"

"_**... No that's just weird.**_"

"What then? You got any brilliant ideas?"

"_**... Make the prince Kenpachi, change the princess to the perfect fighting partner, and go from there."**_

"Kenpachi a prince MY ASS! Shut up, or I won't tell you one at all."

"_**But you have to start with 'once upon a time' King!**_"

"HOLY FUCK FINE!"

"..."

"_ONCE UPON A TIME.._."

"_**YAY! STORYTIME!**_" The bastard interrupts me, and then has the nerve, to SNUGGLE. I SWEAR, if there wasn't some weird 'We are one, if one dies we both die' thing going on, he would be dead faster than Orohime loses her train of though. "_**What the hell. Keep going!**_" I sigh. I can do this. Just picture how many ways it could be worse...

"**I do not suggest that at all.**" Well, thanks for the words of wisdom Zangetsu.

"Once upon a time...There was... A pumpkin. The pumpkin was huge, and was part of a castle."

"_**What the fuck are you talking about King?**_" Came the muffled complaint from my shoulder.

"A fucking pumpkin kingdom. Shut up, and stop getting closer."

"_**But I'm coooooooooooold...**_" I ignore this, and attempt to continue.

"One day a bird passed by overhead."

"_**Oh! The **__**Soukyoku?**_"

"NO! Can I please, please, PLEASE, just go back to sleep? That's all I ask. That's all."

"_**...Then I get to stay here? And get to be as close as I want?**_"

"To a point... BUT YES WHATEVER YOU WANT!" I pull the covers up more over my shoulders to my neck, and close my eyes. PEACE! AT LAST!

* * *

**Well this chapter just KILLED ITSELF. Goddamn. So this was kinda filler. Deal. THANKS FOR ALL YOUR HELP, AGAIN!**

**xp**


	10. AlcoholA Convenient Excuse For Stupidity

**I've just been grounded for the worst reason ever. But here I am, writing another chapter. It gets really weird... as I run out of synonyms for 'weird' and Ichigo wouldn't say 'bizarre' I don't think. I dunno. It kinda gets confusing. I haven't slept in a while. I have no money for alcohol or cigarettes, I think I'm dying, I own nothing. And there might be some continuity errors. I wish I had finished writing this before I kept reading the manga online so I wouldn't feel like I was obligated to make it realistic. And, yeah, its rushed, so what, that makes sense about how out of my mind I am right now. Totally and completely so. Listen to 'Boris' one of the greatest Japanese bands ever. Big fuckin deal blah blah blah, to the story.**

* * *

Looking back on it, I should have just told him the fucking story. He is now curled up, half on my stomach, and feel almost off the bed. Pretty much sideways. Occasionally when we were younger, Yuzu would sleep with me or dad, but this is totally different.

"**Imagine him to be your brother.**"

"H_e's not though! He's even hard to think of as me._

" **You had Rukia in your closet, you've got him in your bed. What's the big deal?**

"_It's not a big deal, it- Okay, yeah, it's a big deal. It's fucking awkward and I don't know how to deal wit it. Happy?_

"**No. Your admitting doesn't mean anything to me. What are you going to do about it? Why is it awkward?**"

_"How should I know!?"_

"**...**"

"_Point taken. Wait! You know something I don't. I can tell. What is it?"_

"**I know nothing. What are you talking about?**"

"_You're a bad liar."_

"**Likewise.**"

"_...What am I lying about?"_

"**You're almost as bad as Hichigo. We've discussed this already.**"  
_"WHAT?"_

"**... Stop acting like you can't stand each other.**"

_"..."_

"**Talk to him. Take advantage of his drunkenness. He sings like a bird.**"

_"..."_

"**Don't do that. Ask him any question."**

_"...About what?"_

"**Whatever you want to know!**"

"_Geeze. Calm down old man, you'll have a heart attack."_

"**...That's not funny. In fact, it is pathetically unfunny.**"

"Hichigo."

"_**Thought you wanted to sleep.**_"

"You won't get drunk tomorrow, will you?"

"_**That depends.**_"

"On what?"

"_**Anything.**_"

"... Please don't become an alcoholic."

"_**AWWWWWWWWWW. Are you concerned?**_"

"Don't."

"_**Who do you take me for? I'm not an alcoholic. I've drunken TWICE.**_"

"Promise?"  
"_**If you stop calling me an alcoholic, yeah. Rangiku's not even an alcoholic and look how much she gets drunk!**_"

"Why do you keep getting drunk?"

"_**Well, you're boring. You go to school, a hollow comes, you kill it, you sleep-"**_

_**"**_**He's lying... He was virtually tearing himself apart over something he thinks was stupid."**

**"**What was that?" I ignored Hichigo continuing his list of the many ways I was boring.

"**Do you really not remember anything that happened last night?**"

"_Why do I just hate what your implying?"_

"**Nothing really like that. Do you remember what happened right before you passed out?**"

"..._We were... talking...?"_

"**About...?**"

"_Holy hell I have NO IDEA! Am I supposed to?"_

"**Ask him about the hollow hole.**"

_"...Seriously? OH! Oh god, I was such an idiot... I was trying to stick my finger in it an-"_

"**Just do it.**"

"_Sheesh_."

"Hichigo! I get it! I'm boring! You're not the most exciting person either y'know!"

"_**Oh... that was a low blow King...**_"

"Well, you don't even know if you've got feelings that can be hurt, so I think I can dish out low blows till you figure that out." (a/n:See? This is why sober Ichigo is easier to write. He's not a complete dumbass.)

"_**No, I MIGHT have feelings. I just don't know yet.**_"

"You either have them or you don't, there's really not a lot of gray area in-between.

"_**Well what do you call an empty hole that feels weird?**_"

"It depends what it feels like."

"_**Wow... That clears things up really well.**_"

"Describe it. What does it feel like exactly?"

"_**If I knew, I could call it whatever it was!**_"

"C'mon!"

"_**Okay, there's nothing there... and it feels really weird sometimes, and then other times it feels... like there is a warmth spreading."**_

"When?"

"_**Sometimes. I dunno**_"

"**He's lying."**

"_Oh, I know. Thanks for that._"

"**Do you want my help or not?**"

"_Help with what? You couldn't just tell me?_"

"**Eventually I will.**"

"_**Spacing much King?**_"

"When?"

"_**Just now!**_"

"No, I mean, when does it feel all weird?"

"_**I dunno!**_"

"That's bullshit and you know it."

"_**Well, I don't know what they are! What if they're wrong!? It's weird I have them in the first place, it would make sense if they're wrong and bad, and not right. And stupid and stuff.**_"

"Feelings are things that can be 'wrong' or 'right' they just are. When do you have them?"

"_**Y'know it's probably just the feeling of being free and it not raining, except for... Yeah its probably just being not locked up.**_"

"What exception?"

"_**Nothing.**_"

"..."

"_**NOTHING! I swear.**_"

"Swear on what?"

"_**...It feels warm when I'm out, but not fighting, that's just the urge...then...**_"

"What's the exception?"

"_**When... When I was outside...and here... Looking for you.**_"

"So... well, when your fight... yeah your fighting. And when you're out... you're always with me, aside from when we were both outside, and then like, you got the sake-"

"_**But that didn't count, I was going back and forth in a 20 ft space.**_"

"So... That pretty much means... you feel what ever it is... when you're with me." We both blush, and he sits up on the edge of the bed, looking at the wall.

"**My, isn't this a Kodak moment...**"

"_Shut up! You knew! And didn't tell me!_"

"**He told you last night too. That he was happy. Well, yeah, pretty much. I'm not counting the strange 'warm and fuzzy' line."**

"_Fuzzy?_"

"**I have NO idea."**

"SO...What kind of feeling is it?"

"_**The wrong kind.**_" He stands, and starts to walk away, but I grab his arm. He looks back at me.

**Hichigo's POV**

He grabs a hold of my arm, stopping me. He's looking up at me rather strangely. He's got some weird look in his eyes.

"I told you. No feelings or emotions are wrong."

"_**I told YOU-"**_

"Tell me again."

I look at my wrist, but he still doesn't let go. The feeling in my chest is going berserk. Why is he looking at me like that? The feeling is fluttering all over the place. It's like a damn electrocuted butterfly. I do not respond.

"What happens... and where." He pulls me closer slightly.

"_**Stuff, the hole.**_" I slur out obviously. He kneels on the bed in front of me, but still holding my wrist.

"Can... I..." He reaches up towards me and the butterfly dies. The feeling of 'I'm going to suffocate since I can't breathe' returns. He opens my robe down to the hole.

"_**Geeze, why don't you ask?**_"

"I was! Can you NOT jump on me about every little thing?!" He reaches up to do something, I know not what.

"_**I don't know what your doing, but you might not want to.**_" _Prude_, I leave off.

"Will it kill me?"

"..._**That I do not know. Not physically.**_" I'm half joking, half not. But I'm not stopping him. Why would I?

"Har, har, I just wanna...see." I bite my lip violently as he touches the rim.

"_**You've got no idea what you're doing.**_"

He ignores me and continues tracing the edge of the hole, and I continue to chew on my lip to keep from moaning. A long time ago I had figured out what happens. It feels damn good. That's what.

I still can't breathe, but the uncomfortable feeling returned, but _lower_...

"_**Feel... Free to stop any time..."**_I manage to choke out.

"What does it feel like?"

"_**What does WHAT feel like?"**_ There were a number of things happening, some of which I was sure as hell not going to tell him.

"The feeling!"

"_**Right now? Or usually?"**_

"Both!"

"_**The feeling as in..."**_

**"THE FEELING! DUMBASS!"**

**"**_**AAAAUGH! Don't ever do that again."**_ I angrily push his hand away after he tugged it.

"Did that hurt?"

"_**Yes you moron.**_"

"The pull or the other thing?"

"_**The pull. I would have stopped you sooner if the other thing hurt.**_"

"What did the other thing feel like?"

"_**...Something.**_"

"Would it kill you to give a straight answer?!"

"_**Possibly.**_"

"I assume- oh that's weird... Um... never mind."

"_**What? Now YOU'RE acting weird.**_"

"So you were purposefully being weird?"

"_**No, I just prefer to not say.**_"

"Why?"

"_**BECAUSE IT'S WEIRD!**_"

"I told you, feelings aren't weird!"

"_**You already know don't you!**_"

"Know what?"

"_** I bet this is all part of Zangetsu's master plan to make my life MORE of a living hell!**_"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"**Sure. Blame you're insecurities on me. It's all MY fault you have feelings for Ichigo."**

**"**_**SHUT UP!**_"

"**He can't hear me you know...**"

"What the hell. Are you OK?"

"_** What the hell do you think?**_"

"..."

"_**Right. No, I'm not okay. Having feelings if fucking me up.**_"

"Jeeze, feelings, how troublesome."

"_**I hate you.**_"

"Really?"

"_**No.**_"

"REALLY?"

"..."

"_You're in cahoots with him aren't you Zangetsu?_"

"**Yes.**"

"_Bastard._"

"**Thank you.**"

"_How much have you told him?_"

"STOP IGNORING ME!"

"_**SEE! IT ISN'T NICE NOW IS IT?!**_"

"**Well, he's just trying to get you to admit it.**"

"_...So he knows?_"

"**And the last horse crosses the finish line! Yes, he knows. Yes, I told him, just tell him, and get over your silly little denial.**"

"..._You're really an asshole._"

"**That means so much coming from-**"

"_How long EXACTLY has he known?_"

"**Approximately since the grabbing of your arm.**"

"_**...Oh, that makes it weird...**_"

"Makes what weird, AND just so you know, I do think we have exhausted the 'weird' motif in this conversation."

"_**...So...You've...**_"

"Been having fun for a bit. Yeah."

"_**Bastard.**_"

"You still won't admit it?"

"_**Nothing to admit King.**_"

"Fine. I'll go first and I'm not even drunk."

"_**!!**_" He grab my shoulders.

"I. Like. You." And he mashes his lips on mine.

"..." We linger for a few moments and I pulls away.

"_**What the fuck.**_" He glares at me. "_**Was that?**_"

"That was-"

"_**A pretty fuckin pitiable excuse for a kiss. That's what.**_" This time I grabs his shoulders, and returns the favor.

**In Renji's corner of the Universe**

Ichigo's reiastu is going haywire right now. It's been fluctuating all goddamn day, AND he wasn't even at school. Damn it. I don't know what's going on. But I keep jumping at it. IT'S NOT MY FAULT HE CAN'T CONTROL IT! If there was a hollow, my phone would go off, and if it was an Espada, Arrancar, or anything else, we would know.

This is getting ridiculous.

What is he DOING?

Five minutes later: He's reiastu blinks... and then goes nonexistent, only to come back full force.

WHAT THE HELL!? That's it. Curiosity and annoyance gets the best of me.

"I'll be back in a bit Jinta." I toss him the broom. "Don't tease Ururu too much." And I leave.

I arrive at Ichigo's to find him, AND A HOLLOW?! I bang on the window so hard it nearly breaks.

"ARE YOU OUTTA YOUR FUCKING MIND?!"

* * *

**Yeah. I'm going to wait to finish reading the manga to continue this. The other one shall be updated soon. I dunno where the fuck this is going, I really don't. This always fucking happens! I hate my writing. I suppose this is what I get for only being on chapter 206. OR! I could totally change my opinion. Which would probably happen if I took my fucking antidepressants, which I fucking hate. Can't you think life has no meaning with out being 'depressed'?**

_**LISTEN TO BORIS!!**_


	11. HUWAAAAAAAAH!

YAY

**YAY! I guess I'm updating! I'm still not finished reading it thoz. Not even to chapter 250. OH WELL! AUGH! My fuckin tattoo itches like a MOTHAH FUCKAH! And... just so you know... G.I.S.M. is SUUUUUUCH a fucked up band. Seriously. Theyz crazah. And uh, I'm going to rewrite the chapter where renji finds out. So just pretend it wasn't Renji... Pretend it was Urahara or something. Yeah, Urahara came in through the window... cuz he'd be the only one who knew about Hichigo, AND be coo with 'em drinking. Yeah. Cuz... it doesn't fit so well with the rest of what I'm planning. Cuz that's what happens when you just write and see where it takes you. And uh, next chapter... there's an un-epic battle scene. Heads up.**

* * *

"ARE YOU OUTTA YOUR FUCKIN MIND!?" I jump back from King and glare at Renji.

"Renji! I... We..."

"_**What the fuck are you doing here?!**_" I, unlike King, don't choke over my tongue, and have no such emotion such as embarrassment.

"HAVE YOU FUCKING LOST IT?! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?! IT'S A FUCKING HOLLOW!! Why is there a hollow anyways? THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT! Only by a little, BUT WHAT THE FUCK?!" He looks wildly back and forth between us. "YOU! HOW DID YOU GO UNDETECTED?!"

I laugh. "_**Why do you have your hand on the hilt of your sword? Are you going to KILL me?!**_"

"ICHIGO! What the fuck?!"

"..." King says nothing and holds his head in his hands.

"IT'S A HOLLOW! You've spent HOW long hunting them? How long killing them? Now, your fucking KISSING it?"

"_**I'm not an 'it' you know...**_" He is slowly getting more and more irritating.

"SHUT UP, YOU'RE JUST A HOLLOW!"

"_**Really? I hadn't noticed! Oh god, what will father say!**_" I mock.

_SWISH_ I easily sidestep to sword, even in my drunken state.

I reach up to grab the white Zangetsu.

"HICHIGO! RENJI!" King snaps out of his mini trance. "STOP!"

"I am a shinigami, and it is my duty to kill hollows. If you won't, I will. _ROAR, ZABIMARU!_"

"..._**Ichigo kicked your ass, remember? I'm stronger than him. What are you going to do?**_" I kept my hand on Zangetsu.

"DON'T! BOTH OF YOU STOP!" Both me and Renji-bastard glare at King. "Renji, go back to Urahara's. We will be there in a second to explain everything."

"There's nothing to explain besides you playing tonsil hockey with a HOLLOW!"

"_**He's too much of a prude to allow THAT -**_"

"SHUT UP!" He grabs his shinigami badge and becomes his spirit form. "Where the fuck is Kon?"

"_**He's been gone for some time now...**_"

"ICHIGO!"

"GO TO URAHARA'S! I FUCKING SWEAR! If I'm not there in 10 minutes, you can come back and try to kill him."

"_**That's a little unfair, don't cha THINK?!**_"

"NO." Both him and Renji say. Renji sheaths his Zanpakutoh. "10 Minutes. No more." And he leaves.

"Fuck." He sighs, and I walk over.

"_**King...**_"

"What? You don't ACTUALLY think I'd ever let him touch you, do you?"

I kiss him again, and run to get Kon.

I enter Karin and Yuzu's room.

"What the hell?"

"_**Kon got on my nerves.**_" I walk over to the glass pig on the desk and empty out all the change. I grab Kon and hand him over to King.

"... So you put him in the pig?"

"_**No.**_" I gave him a look. "_**We've got 10 minutes remember?**_"

"Okay..."

"_**What?**_"

"Nothing... Let's go."

* * *

**Sorry its so short. I'll update soon! I swear! I just had to try and make all the other chapters fit. And uh, they've been updated actually... but not much has changed. Its Urahara, not Renji that comes, and blah. That's it.**


	12. Chapter 12

So... I've been grounded. I can try to update... but i don't know if it can work. SORRY! I'M A HORRIBLE PERSON! And the one girl who emailed me may, yes, track me down eat my nonexistant soul and kill my nonexistant children, I'm not exactly the childmaking type.. cough

anyways... maybe i'll be ungrounded in a week. i dunno.

sorry.


	13. ZOMG!

**SO, yeah, I haven't been ungrounded... but I managed to write this. YAY! I so rule. On with it then, yeah, still sorry about how cotton picking short the last chapter was. AND THANK YOU EVERYBODY FOR READING AND WRITING! They made me feel all warm and snugly inside. Half broken hearted that I wouldn't be able to update or reply, but thank you all!**

**Beware! I hate Rukia, so excuse me if it's a little bashing when I write her. There isn't an actual love triangle, just some rivalry between Hichi and Rukia. They's the ones that are a-fightin. AND! I love Urahara, but I made him a bit of a tea snob. (Like me!! :P) It's like coffee. All black, or go to Starbucks. Fer SERIOUSLY.**

* * *

**Renji's Corner:**

"Did you and Ichigo have a good time?" He said coyly from behind his fan.

"What the hell do you mean? And he's coming over. Now." I pause.

"RUKIA?"

"Hello to you too."

"I didn't even see you there! What are you doing here?"

"She needed more Chappy Gikongan. From MEEEEEEEEEE!"

"So Ichigo is coming?"

"Yes." Oh dear. Things may be a bit stranger with Rukia thrown in.

"Oh, I might just stay then." She sipped her tea, blushing, quietly.

"Urahara may I talk to you for a second?" I grab him and drag him out.

"What is it?"

"...Ichigo! He! RUKIA! No, Hollow! Rukia! What!?" I sigh. "... RUKIA CAN'T BE HERE!"

"...Rukia knows."

"...What?" I swear, if they've been in cohorts behind my back...

"Rukia knows about Ichigo's hollow. As do I."

"Am I the ONLY ONE who didn't?!"

"No."

"... So wait... you... you _KNOW?!_ About... _them_... and they're..." I grasp for words that aren't there. "Y'know... _THING_... They... seem... to have going?"

"Going? Thing?"

"...Um... The reason why I don't think Rukia should be here for this?"

"Oh, no, Rukia would love it gone. She just thinks Ichigo is too kind to kill it."

"..." Apparently he and I were NOT on the same page, maybe not even the same book. HELL, EVEN THE SAME LIBRARY!

"I think you may be missing my point."

"Oh, Rukia's totally getting over the fact that she's in denial of falling for Ichigo. I bet she's even admitted it by now."

"But, Ichi-"

He peek around the corner. "Rukia, you have indeed fallen for Ichigo, have you not?"

_Sppppppppppppift!_ Tea is now covering the small room, and Rukia looks very, very flustered.

"No, I know that" She shoots numerous glares at me, each one stronger than the last. " But, I JUST THINK" The shop's front door bell rings, and clangs shut. _DAMN._

**Hichigo's POV:**

I was taking no chances. And king felt better about it, so I was inside. He said he would defuse the situation enough so I could come out. As if I couldn't handle myself.

_Ding!_ A bell welcomed us and Urahara and Renji peeked from around the corner.

"Kurosaki-Kun! What brings you here?" King looked at him grimly.

"Oh, nothing out of the ordinary." As much as I love it when King adopts my sarcasm, I frowned when I saw dark clouds moving in above me in the sky.

"_**Don't start with that shit, King...**_"

"_What shit?_"

"_**Don't make it rain!**_"

"_Sorry."_

_**"Pay attention to Urahara."**_

"Ichigo!"

"Sorry! What?"

"I said, would you like to join us in the other room with tea?" He swatted at us with his fan.

"Sure." We walk back.

"Ichigo! Long time no see!"

"_**Augh! Kuchiki-bitch!**_" The dark clouds disappear, and the sky turns blue again. What the fuck! All she had to do is _show up_, and BAM! No more clouds. Oh, she was practically _BEGGING_ for it. Two can play that game bitch. It's ON. But I shall wait to strike back. When the time is right. Await your doom bitch. (A/N: My, my, my, isn't HE jealous? Kehehe. Don't worry, they will indeed hit it off. With VIOLENCE! XD)

King ignores me, to my dismay.

"Rukia!"

"I had to get some Gikongan for a few people back at Soul Society. I figured I'd stop by, but you got to me first!" She made a noise I can only classify as a flirtatious giggle. Zangetsu startled chortling at my rage. Bastard. She'd better watch her step! Bitch is steppin into MY territory! "So what brings you here?"

"Oh, y'know, –"

"His HOLLOW." Renji cuts in. For once, we are close to being on the same side.

"Oh, _THAT_ damn thing? Didn't you try to shut it up for good? Why do you still keep it around? It does nothing but give you trouble." She scoffed.

LINE HAS BEEN CROSSED BITCH! I appear behind Ichigo, and slide my arms around him.

"Nothin' he can't handle..." I pull him close to me. Feeling Ichigo stiffen, and seeing Rukia's face only encourages me. I nuzzle his neck and kiss his check, to which Rukia turns purple, and slow run my hand up his thigh.

"HICHIGO! WHAT THE HELL?!" King wrenches away from me a wonderful shade of fire engine red, looking shocked. Renji looks slightly nauseous, while Urahara nearly chokes on his tea.

"My, you two are... getting along a lot better than I had thought..." Urahara says after a while. _Slluuuuuuuuurrrrp._

No one reacts. Ichigo has wrapped his arms around himself looking so sweet and violated, as if he's been molested, Renji is perhaps attempting to move the floor via telekinesis, and Rukia's face could put a healthy rutabaga to shame.

_WHACK! WHACK!_

_**"AUGH!"**_ Both me and King cry out in pain. I look up and see him on the floor crouching a vital organ, and I glare at Rukia clutching my second to last rib. Her face is contorted into a rage I have only seen on myself and other hollows.

"Oh dear." Urahara sets down his tea.

Rukia draws her Zanpakutoh and dashes after me.

I dodge a few blows. A fight she wants? A fight she shall GET!

I grab Zangetsu.

"_**BANKAI!**_"

"Oh dear." Urahara repeats. He grabs us both and runs. "Please do not demolish the shop. You may fight to your heart (or hole's) content here."

He takes us to the training facility in the basement. He returns a second later with Ichigo and Renji. Ichigo still looks violated, and Renji looks unamused.

Rukia turns toward Ichigo.

"HOW COULD YOU!?" Ichigo snaps out of his shivering trance in time to get cut on the face by Rukia's sword.

_Clang!_ She deflects my swing with her sword, turning to me once again.

"I am your enemy!" I snarl. She's got tears in her eyes. _How touching_. I mock mentally.

"**You're being just as jealous...**"

"_I'M A HOLLOW! OF COURSE I'M TERRITORIAL!_"

_Slice! Clang! Clang! Fliiiiish!_(a/n: Aren't my sound effects the GREATEST?! x))

I gave her a nice deep cut across her shoulder before she started bawling and went after Ichigo. Renji just stood idly by, not knowing what to do.

Ichigo wouldn't even draw his sword, but kept dodging her attacks.

"_**King doesn't have the heart to hurt his friends, but I sure as hell do!**_" I aim a few Getsuga Tensho to prove my point. She gets hit by one. I shun-po behind her and move to slice open her stomach.

_Clang!_ Black meets white Bankai.

"Hichigo. Stop."

He looks at me. Angry. He turns to Rukia, who has collapsed sobbing.

"Rukia..." He kneeled in front of her. "Are you alright?" He spoke quietly.

"GET AWAY!" She cried.

"Rukia..."

"NO! GET AWAY FROM ME! GO AWAY!"

'_Have you drowned yet Zangetsu?'_

"**Not yet. It is surprisingly dry in here.**"

'_Dry you say? No rain? No thunder and lightning storms?'_

"**No storms, but it is gray..."**

"LEAVE ME ALONE."

"Ichigo. Maybe you should go. For a bit at least." Renji says at last. He still looks very confused though.

He says nothing, and doesn't look at me in the slightest when he leaves.

"Hollow..." Rukia wipes her tears, even though she is still crying.

"_**...**_" I only look at her.

"..."

"_**It's Shirosaki.**_"

"WHERE DO YOU GET OFF?!"

"_**...**_" I assume she didn't mean it in _that_ way... "_**What?**_"

"YOU'RE A HOLLOW!"

I mock a look of surprise. "_**YOUR KIDDING!**_"

"I'M THE REASON HE'S A SHINIGAMI! WHY HIS FAMILY IS STILL ALIVE!"

"_**Dramatic enough?**_" I sneer. "_**So am I.**_"

"WHY DOES HE LIKE YOU!? HOW!? HOW DO YOU LIKE HIM?!"

"_**I don't.**_" I nearly laugh at her antics. "_** I don't know if it's a crush or a like or a love. I have no way of knowing.**_"

"WHAT IS HE TO **YOU!?**_ A quick fuck?!_"

"_**As if. Get it through your head. We are one and the same."**_ She continues to wail and I roll my eyes.

"I should just KILL YOU NOW!"

"_**You can't. You could try. But you would fail, and die in the process. Besides. Ichigo would never let you. And if you did, a major part of Ichigo would be changed. And he would be a lot weaker.**_" Oh the melodrama.

"I might as WELL!"

"_**Die? NOW your talking. What? Hoping in your death Ichigo would realize his nonexistent feelings for you?**_" I laugh. "_**Oh, he'd be over the sink with razor blades alright...**_"

'_How's King doing, Zang?_'

"**Zang? He's alright. A little rattled, but fine. Urahara's perverted teasing isn't helping him any though.**"

"_**Well, I'm glad we had this little talk. Don't worry, I'm sure you'll find another Kain/Ichigo someday..."**_ 'ZING!' I think to myself. Of course I had to mention HIM for the kill. Nothing like some verbal abuse after winning a fight. I walked away. I had no time to spare with sobbing emo girls. I had to save King from Sandal-Hat!

* * *

**WOW! That turned out a lot more bashing, then I thought. OH WELL! I ... really... Don't like her or Orohime. Let's hope I'm ungrounded soon! Again. THANK YOU ALL FOR THE REVIEWS THAT MAKE ME 'SQUee' and feel as epic as 'municipal waste'! what a good band. seriously.**


	14. NO WAI! YA WAI!

**Yay! Ungrounding soon? You bet your ass! MMM, NOT speaking of which... Guess who's not sleeping tonight? ME! Yay! Guess who's heart beat is so erratic it could put 'Thumper' the bunny from Bambi to shame? ME! Yay! And uh, since he wasn't in the last one, Kisuke-san WILL indeed be a tea snob in this one. MMMMMMMM, tea. MMMM, Kisuke... MMMMMMMMM! I OWN NOTHING!**

"_I got a big big big heart beat, yeah,_

_think you are the sweetest thing,_

_think we are the right age to start our own peculiar ways,_

_with good friendly homes?"_

"_Can I tell you that you are the purple in me?_

_Can I call you just to hear you, do you care?_

_When I saw you put your purple finger on me,_

_there's a feeling in your bottle, found you bottle,_

_there's a feeling from your bottled little part..."_

Animal Collective - 'The Purple Bottle'

* * *

I did not respond to his suggestive wiggling eyebrows, or his comments. I only poured myself a cup of tea. I frowned at the table._ Why was it all wet?_

I picked up a pack of sugar and stirred it in, followed by a bit of cream.

_Sip._ Blegh, bitter. I took another couple of sugar packets and poured them in. I made sure they were stirred in, and reached for another.

_THWACK!_

"What the hell?!"

"Four packets of sugar? Seriously?"

"..." I picked up another packet and poured it in.

"Would you like some more _tea_ or _cream_ with your _sugar_?" He sipped his tea, acting disgusted.

"... Now that you mention it, I do need more cream..." I reached for it, but he swiped it away.

"...Or not?" I took a drink. Still a little bitter, but it was better.

"I guess you're still not adult enough to enjoy the fruits of tea..." He said airily.

"No, your tea is just bitter as fuck. I mean, you own a sweets shop!"

"What? Kurosaki-kun likes sweet things?"

"Well... Yeah! They taste better."

"So how sweet is Hichigo's c-"

"_**I'm going to stop you there, Sandal-Hat-Perv..."**_

"Hichigo! Where is Rukia?"

"_**Calm down, don't get your panties in a twist. She's alive and coping. Well... alive.**_" I reach for his tea, and take a sip. "_**GODDAMN! HAVE ENOUGH SUGAR IN IT?**_"

"You tell him Hichigo!" Urahara cheered.

"Huh, you even managed to NOT tease me about the panties, WHICH I DO NOT WEAR, line..."

"Yeah, I couldn't think of anything quick enough." He sighs.

"_**What about 'You could always get him to untwist them'?**_"

"BOTH OF YOU?! C'MON!" AUGH! Two perverts now. This is _so_ much better.

"Hmm, it's not snappy enough to be my style." Hichigo shrugs and sits down beside me.

"SOOOO... How'd you hook up?" I sputter into my tea. It dribbled down my chin and I wiped it off.

"_**Oh, it is a fantastical story indeed...**_" THAT FUCKER! (A/n: Oh, but Ichigo has NO idea how much of a 'fucker' Hichigo can be... laughs maniacally)

**RUKIA! (SHE'S NOT DEAD YET!):**

_(Jesus fucking crust, I've never been this emo in my life, except for that one time when -blah blah blah- Yeah. This was funny to write. I nearly died my hair black, got thick rimmed glasses, and started listening to 'Chimera' and 'avenged seven fold' and 'atreyu' and crap that like. But then I remembered that MY GOD, that music sucks, I don't wear glasses, and I like my normal dark dark brown hair, and I don't have enough hair to make angled bangs... AND I DESPISE MARBELLOS! MARBS SUCK! I am a cig snob, unless I'm dirty halving. Either the OLD Camel Filters, not those new fraken-cig ones, or Turkish Royals. TURKISH ROYALS ARE THE BEST! YEAH! WHOO! MMM, nicotine..._

_But, really, I can't consciously be that pathetic and lame for so long...)_

I was so foolish. So dumb! Hadn't I learned my lesson already? This wasn't fair! It's never fair! Why had I fallen for him?! He's so arrogant and loud! But so nice... and AUGH!

I had of course already made numerous lists of his good and bad points in my head. I had no need for another.

How could he love another? No one knows him better than me! No one knows me better than him! Why? What's wrong with me? Why not me?

Then it hit me.

Ichigo... Ichigo was... was _GAY?!_ NOO... That's wrong. Something is wrong. Ichigo wasn't _gay_, ... There's no way Ichigo was gay! What had his hollow done to him? There's no way Zangetsu would let him be... _Brainwashed_, or anything like that...

What was going on? Was this some sort of elaborate plan to get me jealous? No, it had gone to far for that... Or had it? Ichigo wasn't gay! There was no way he was gay! He couldn't be!

But... that would explain his prude-ness around Rangiku-san and... Yoruichi.. And.. Me and Orohime... But no! He wasn't gay!! I slept in his closet for the longest time! Maybe... NO! ICHIGO WAS NOT GAY!

I KNOW! He's confused! He's confused! Tatsuki, and Me! We're so masculine! And that one chick! Who's always all over Orohime! AUGH! We've made Ichigo think he was gay! We've got to fix this! (A/n: MY GOD! SHE JUST DOES NOT GET IT DOES SHE?! Seriously... What the hell.)

No! I can't bring any of those other girls into this. Definatly NOT Orohime. She likes him too. Kurosaki will be mine, and ALL MINE.

What about his hollow?

"Rukia... You're going to be alright, right?" Urahara peeks into the basement.

SNIFF "I just need to think things over..." I give him a teary look, and he leaves.

HEH...

So... The hollow... If I told his friends... and... no, that wouldn't work. ISHIDA! ...No... How can I make sure he doesn't get in my way? Who in Soul Society can I trust...? Perhaps not even Nii-Sama...

No... I know what to do.

**Hichigo's POV!**

"How is Rukia doing?"

I roll my eyes.

"I don't care if you hate her, she's still my friend!"

"_**Even though y'know, she tried to kill us?**_"

"She was overreacting!"

"I think it's safe to say that kicking you in the nuts and socking Shiro-kun in the ribs was overreacting. After that, it crosses the line." I nod, and raise my tea cup to Sandal-Hat.

"_**Indeed.**_"

"Look, I'm sure she'll get over it."

"_**That makes one of us.**_"

"I concur." Urahara agrees.

"She will! Rukia's the type of person-stop- who accepts things - STOP- and, she's reasonable, she'll -HICHIGO I'M NOT SICK! I DON'T HAVE A FEVER! I'M NOT HAVING A HEART ATTACK, OR GOING INTO CARDIAC ARREST!"

"_**Just making sure. You sound delusional.**_"

"You're just _jealous_! You think that she's going to try and steal me away!"

"_**I certainly to not put it past her.**_"

"THAT'S LUDICROUS!"

"_**IS IT?**_"

"Yes! I'm going home." He quickly stands up. "Tell Rukia I apologize and-"

"_**There's nothing to apologize about!**_"

"He has a point... Kind of." Renji has been rather quiet through out the whole ordeal. He sides with no one, but is not a voice of reason.

"Don't give me that look, Ichigo. Rukia is just as well my friend as yours! You broke her heart, it shall mend."

"Well I'm still going." He turns to leave.

"What about Shiro-kun?" Urahara points obviously, as if there is a million of me, or Ichigo had no idea who I was.

"_**It seems Ichigo would despise my presence right now.**_"

He sighs. "No, I-"

"_**Would just minorly hate it?**_"

"DO WHATEVER YOU WANT! I'M GOING HOME!" He spins on his heel and stalks off.

"My my my Shiro-kun... Ichigo must be very high maintenance..." Urahara says with a mock look of surprise.

"_**That... took me no time at all to figure out...**_"

"Well, power to you, blessings, good luck. You'll need it. Now, let us quit with this small stuff, let us drink the drink of men."

"_**Sake?**_"

He nods and opens a cupboard with a flourish, "Quite right old bean! I dare say!"

I say nothing, but take the glass from him. As far as shinigami and humans go, Ichigo knows a fair few. Well, maybe four... Urahara, Kenpachi... Ichimaru Gin and Aizen aren't too bad either, just a little fucking crazy. But sometimes that's a good thing. "_**Cheers.**_"

"So... How... long can you be here?" He asks.

"_**... I don't really know. I assume I'll find out. It is interesting. AND we can talk through our heads.**_"

"Like..."

"_**Like now! I mean, I suppose that's how we usually talk, but I mean, when we're not face to face.**_"

"You've got some crazy mental connection?"

"_**Well we are technically the same person...**_"

"So... then what you guys are doing... its like some incredibly complicated narcissism?"

"_**What ever do you mean?**_"

"No, that's limited to personality. It's like some bizarre self on self masturbation? Like in a mirror?"

"_**Nah, it's normal sex.**_"

"Wait... but... I thought..."

"_**No, you're right, not yet. He's too much of a virgin.**_"

"What? He's holding out on you? Waiting for marriage?"

"_**PFFFT, we just kissed about well, however long ago it was. I mean, of COURSE I would have fucked him, but SOMEONE, had to go and freak out.**_"

"Ah. Remind me to hit Renji with something when he comes back."

"_**Where is eye-brow guy, anyways?**_"

"A good question. I will drink to that." I nod, and we raise our glasses. Ha, and Ichigo thinks this guy is insane.

* * *

**YEAH! WHOOOOO! YEAH! ALRIGHT! WHOOO! YEAH! I'M STOKED**

**To Chibi Hichigo: Grabs video camera WAIT FOR MEEEEEEE! As long as Ichi-Hichi's in there, I can stand it. WEEEEEEEELLL, not with Rukia or Orohime. I think I'd puke. And uh... marriage? Hmm, how to say this... get a sex change, then we'll talk? X.P I can't help it!**

**YEAH! Rukia and Renji's corner's return in the next chapter! God, I really hope Rukia's perspective thing wasn't too bad. It pained me to write. I have a hard time pretending to be someone I haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate. I didn't REALLY mean to make her so ignorant and... well, yeah I kinda did. It's the only way the story line goes how I want it. BLAAAAAAAAGH! Y'know, I've got 30+ reviews. Do you have any idea how happy it makes me? If not, MY GAWWWWWWD IT MAKES ME HAPPY! X)**

**Till next time... ON DRAGON BALL Z!**


	15. Even Kami must have it so hard Gomen!

**GODDAMN, this thing keeps freezing up, so I can't go back and read what I already wrote. There a word that describes this situation. And it is 'shit'. So I lied about Rneji and Rukia's return in this chapter. It doesn't happen. Yet. Well, enough of that. Peach mango, jack fruit guava, Tite owns Bleach, I own nada. Like my rhyme? I think it's pretty pimp for a teenage tea snob. THIS TIME... ON DRAGON BALL Z!!**

* * *

I sigh. He just had to say something like that. He couldn't just shut his mouth, and leave it at that? No, he had to act like I'm insane, and Rukia is some sort of sinister diabolical evil bitch, that needs to die. How did I feel about all this? I mean, sure, I could see how she thought I liked her, and she liked me, I know that now... But... I sigh again and turn over.

I don't know what to think. I've had a crush on girls before... But Hichigo... Hichigo was different from them. From everyone. No matter what facade he tried to maintain, no matter what kind of attitude he had as a front, there was so much more past that... Right?

"**Do you always have such depressing conversations to yourself?**"

"AGH!" I bolt upright.

'_Oh, its just you._'

"**No need to freak out. I've had enough of people freaking out for one day.**"

'_I'll say. What an ordeal._'

"**Are you going to about it?**"

'_I have no idea. Rukia didn't want to speak to me._'

"**... I wasn't really talking about her.**"

'_Well that's the main issue at hand!_'

"**_Not really. You don't have to share a body with Rukia._**"

"_She's... like my best friend! I owe my life to her! And my family would be dead without her, and so would all of my friends!_"

"**If you had to choose, right now, who would it be? Rukia or Hichigo?**"

"_That's impossible! I don't have to choose!_"

"**But if you did?**"

"_I DON'T!_"

"**Fine. Why are you mad at Hichigo?**"

"_He would of killed Rukia without a second thought._"

"**It's his nature. Not a facade, or a front. You're the one with the tough guy front. Hichigo simply is. He has no need to try to be something he is not. He is nature, not nurture. Instincts. That's what the hole in his chest signifies. Instincts.**"

"_I know that!_"

"**Then why are you mad at him for it?**"

"_Should I not be? He tries to kill my best friend, and I should just act like it's nothing?_"

"**No, I'm saying give him a break. He hasn't done anything he knows to be wrong. He doesn't even have a concept of right and wrong.**"

"_Like a child who hasn't learned about respect and sharing?_"

"**Not exactly. He is no child. He is... Think of it this way. What are instincts?**"

"_Like... Primal instincts. Urges?_"

"**Exactly. Like the seven sins. Sloth, Gluttony, Wrath, Greed, Pride, Lust, and Envy. Rukia evoked envy, and his violence was the instinct of wrath, to protect what he thought was his. He said it himself. He is a hollow, and therefore territorial.**"

"_Great... So now I'm his 'territory'?_"

"**Well, He seems to-**"

_BEEP BEEP! HOLLOW! HOLLOW!_

"Fuck."

"**It was only a matter of time.**"

**Urahara Shop!:**

"Ah! A hollow!" Urahara said.

"**_Didn't you already know that?_**" I laugh.

"Not you, another one."

"**_King!_**"

"Aw, how adorable! In danger you must always protect your loved ones, right Shiro-kun?" I shoot him a glare.

"**_Stuff it! We've got to find him. What if it's an Espada?_**"

"It's not. But you're right. You must be getting weak from being out so long."

"**_You could tell?_**"

"Of course! I am all knowing!" He disappears behind the door. "Tesai! Make sure Ururu and Jinta are in bed by a reasonable hour! I will be back!"

He comes back in, and ushers me towards the door. "And when we find him, you should apologize."

"**_Apologize?!_**"

"You think you shouldn't? You've got to keep on your toes with high maintenance women. Same with Ichigo."

"**_Eh, I suppose you're right. Call him a woman, I don't care. He's not here to get all huffy either._**"

_DING!_

The bell on the door of the shop signals our departure, and we take off into the night.

"He should be..." _CRASH!_

"**_Over there._**" I finish, and we run to the cloud of smoke gathering.

"My my, it is a big 'un."

We arrive on the street. The hollow turns to us and screeches.

-**ONE OF US! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?**-

The smoke clears and from under the rubble emerges a dirtied up and bleeding Ichigo.

-**You're a strong one! I got lucky when I found my prey! You will be a fun fight!**- He lashes a tendril for Ichigo.

_Slice!_

-**BROTHER! You betray me so!**-

"**_Quit with the dramatics! Don't loop me in with YOU._**" I grab Ichigo and toss him towards Urahara.

He lets out a shriek. -**Hollow filth! You steal my prey and side with the shinigami! YOU SHALL DIE!**-

"**_You're not worth the time. But a key word of advice before YOU die, he is not YOUR prey._**"

He shrieks again, and comes at me with his snake-like claws. I cut them off, and release MY hollow war cry. The sky blackens, and the windows rattle.

-**You! YOU! You are... !**- (a/n: Once I finish reading the manga, I'll know what to call Hichi. But for now. He's so much stronger than an espada, arrancar, or vasto lord could ever be. Just cuz he's cool like that.)

_SLASH!_ I cut his mask in half. "**_Ichigo... is mine._**"

"Y'know, if you didn't have such potential to be a 'creeper', I'd say that was almost romantic..." He peeks down at Ichigo, trying to gage a reaction.

"**_Ichigo..._**" I turn to look at him. He is pale. "**_... Where is Orohime?_**" I ask Urahara.

"... I'M FINE!" He says quickly. He pushes himself away from Urahara and takes a shaky step. His breathing is labored.

"**_Obviously. Where is Orohime?_**" He takes a few more shaky steps, and then walks normally to get Zangetsu, lost under the collapsed building wall.

"Orohime-chan is over there!" He points.

I look back, and Ichigo is using Zangetsu to stand, trying to look casual. I sigh. Him and his stupid pride. Oh well. I can use this as a chance to apologize. I guess.

"**_I will take him._**"

"Okey Dokey Smokey! I'll be off!" I waves and leaves.

"Really... Hichigo... I'm fine."

"**_You are being stupid. You are not fine._**" I pick him up, and as he protests, I swoop him over my shoulder. "**_Shhh! Urahara is right. I'm being protective. This is nearly romantic._**"

"Except for the 'creeper' part... And that coming from HIM no less." He was silent after that. He tells me which way to go, but besides that, we do not talk.

I set him down on her doorstep, and ring the buzzer.

"Yes?"

"Orohime? Its Kurosaki. I need your help..."

"Kurosaki-kun! I'll be down in a second!"

I hear padding down the stairs, and vanish at the last moment before she opens the door.

"Kurosaki! OH! You're hurt!"

"Yeah... Bit of a run-in with a nasty one. Do you think you could... Y'know..."

"YES! Yes of course. Here, come inside!" He staggers inside, and Orohime wraps her arm around him to help him get up the stairs.

I scowl.

"**Being overly aggressive again, I see.**"

"**_It's not MY fault..._**"

"**You... should say you're sorry.**"

"**_I was gonna! GEEZE!_**"

"**Really?"**

** "_Yeah._**"

"**I'm surprised. What are you waiting for?"**

** "_The right moment._**"

"**Well don't wait too damn long or it will seem insincere.**"

"**_I'm not gonna!_**"

"**I'm just saying. No need to get so defensive.**"

I ignore him and pay attention to Orohime. Just in case she tries anything. You can never be too careful with the oblivious ones. They could plan something and you would never see it coming.

She summons her Shun Shun Rika, and the orange light cover his shoulder and down, across his stomach, and the wound begins to fade.

'_Hichigo..._'

'**_King?_**'

'_I ... wanted to say something._'

'**_Me too. I'm... sorry... about Rukia._**' Wow, that didn't sound forced at ALL...

'_What? No, I was going to apologize for getting angry about that!_'

'**_Why? It made...sense... Kinda. Well...'_**

**_ '_**_And... Why you did do what you did... It kind of made sense too.**'**_

**_ 'Really? You seemed pretty pissed off...'_**

**_ '_**_Well... Z-'_

_ **'Zangetsu? I gotta KILL that bastard... What'd he say?'**_

**_ '_**_Well, it doesn't matter, I-**'**_

**_ 'Doesn't matter my ASS! And... uh that chick's talking to you.'_**

"Kurosaki?"

"Sorry, spaced for a second."

"I asked if you would like to stay for a snack? I was about to make something!"

"OH! Uh... I! I have to get back! To... to home! I've got HOMEWORK! Due... Tomorrow! Sorry! Maybe... Next time!" Cleverly avoided King, cleverly avoided.

"Oh, well, alright! I'll... see you tomorrow then!"

"Yeah! See yeah Inoe-san!"

With that he did a mild dash out the door, down the steps, and out of the house.

"**_I bet she looked like a damn fool, standing there, waving, talking to an invisible person like that..."_**

He laughs, and we return to Kurosaki Clinic.

* * *

_**"There's something living in these lines  
And when your newest kisser is peeking. you dress yourself up tonight get all tangled up in arms and legs its cramped up and someone grabs a hold do you go ohhhhhh. should you go home. theres something starting don't know why.  
And in a house so cozy few words are spoken lets take our shoes off and unwind when theres minuets off in the background drowning out eyes off ears off test the kiss goodnight.  
Don't keep my loving on my mind."**_

**'Did You See The Words' - Animal Collective**

**Yeah. So. Uh... yep. See ya next time... on DRAGON BALL B! (The B is for Bleach. Get it?! D)  
**


	16. SourShower Leaves a tart taste!

**YAY! Another installment! When I get my math done, all 5 sheets of it, THEN, AND ONLY THEN, will I be able to get my comp privileges back. You guys have been lucky. I've had nothing to distract me from writing. No skating, friends, sex, drugs, rock and roll, I couldn't even read Bleach! I could of gone straight edge fer fuck sake! Well, minus the cigarettes that is. Oh well. Here goes! Peach, mango, jack fruit, guava, Tite owns Bleach, I own nada.**

** DID ANYONE ELSE FREAK THE FUCK OUT WHEN OROHIME NEARLY KISSED ICHIGO?!**

**I was. I was waiting for the page to load, hoping, PRAYING to the GOD i don't believe in, that it would not happen. Like, i hoped RUKIA, would be there, or something. While the page was loading it was totally epic. Like... she got closer... and closer, and closer... and my wails of 'No' got LOUDER... AND LOUDER... AND LOUDER. Then she stopped, and I was like 'DAMN STRAIGHT BITCH! YOU EVER DO THAT AGAIN, I'MA HUNT YOU DOWN! You dont' mess, with MY ICHIGO.' ect, but with more banging of fists on the desktop, more threats, near hyperventilation, and explitives. I fucking HATE OROHIME! GOD FUCKING DAMNIT! You do realize, I'm going to have to kill her off. Right? And by his reaction, goddamnit. I'd say Ichigo is loosing rungs on my obsessed-ladder, pretty FUCKIN FAST. I mean, ITS OROHIME! I mean, I'm not so mad as FURIOUS, and I really expected him to have better FUCKING JUDGEMENT. WHAT THE FUCK! it's 6:30 am now... as i'm posting this... my day is RUINED. FUCKING RUINED! By the KISS, and by fuckin ICHIGO.**

**But at least Kenpachi's there. What a colossal hunk of man, he is. But seriously. What the hell. Not even he's total PWNAGE, by the head captain can get me enraged out of this depressed state of being. For the meantime. I'll probably get over it by the time I pass out, or have to go to school. Eh, 6:48, almost totally over it. THANK YOU KISUKE-KUN! He's such a god-in-machine, except he's not a machine. EEEEEEEEEE! They're a-going to Heuco Mundo! AUGH! I'm sorry! I apologize Ichigo! I love you!**

** AND HELL YEAH! GRIMMJAW'S GOT HIS ARM BACK! WHOO! That's so bullshit though, she's SO not above the realm of god. I don't believe in god, but she's NO above god.**

**Yay! Killing fun time with Grimmjaw! But where is Gin-kun? Man, that 'new kid' espada (the one who like Kisuke's hat) is kinda cute, in that 'what the hell is wrong with him, but oh he's really quite adorable' way. YAY!  
**

* * *

Our silence on the way back, and happy. Not like the awkward one to Orohime's house. I mean, sure, I was injured, and thrown over his back... But still. It seemed awkward to me.

We got back, and Kon was on the bed.

"WHAT THE HELL?!"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry Ichigo! It was so good! I couldn't help myself!"

There is a chocolate, sticky ice cream mess, almost covering my entire bed. And Kon, was there, tub of chocolate in hand, spoon in the other, and was more covered with it then the bed itself.

"You even got it in my HAIR!" I could hear Hichigo's cackling in the back of my mind.

"I'm sorry!"

"HOW DID YOU GET IT ON MY BACK?!"

"I DON'T KNOW!" He cowered underneath his hands.

"ALL OVER THE FUCKING BED!"

"I'M SORRY!"

"**_Guess that means you'll have to take a shower, huh King?_**"

I hit myself on the head with my shinigami badge, and put Kon, back in his body, in Yuzu's room. _BASTARD!_

"**_Me or him?_**"

'Him! You're a pervert!'

"**_What? I've seen you bathe before! I'll say it again. We're the SAME PERSON!_**"

'THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT ANY LESS WEIRD!'

'**That is SO TRUE.**'

'**_Thanks for the input old man_**_..._'

"**_You're like a crotchety old woman._**"

'What?'

"**_A prude, crotchety old woman who gasps at the word 'damn' and remembers the good old days, and was shocked at the 'revealing' swimsuits of the 50's._**"

'...What are you talking about?'

"**_Will you take a shower if I promise I won't look?_**"

'Yeah right!'

"**_ You're going to have to choose eventually. Be a prude for your whole life, or be clean. Take your pick._**"

"..."

"**_It's either you take a shower, or I lick it off. Choose._**"

"GODDAMNIT."

"**_Or both._**"

"...What?"

"**_I could lick it off in the shower!_**"

"LIKE HELL YOU ARE!"

"**_Stop talking to yourself. Someone's going to think your nuts._**" I shut up, and stomp to the bathroom.

He surprisingly makes no comments, and I turn on the water.

**THIS PART GOT DELETED BEFORE... I FUCKED UP. I WAS SOOOOOOOOOOOO MAAAAAAAD! I WENT AND STOMPED, AND HAD A FUCKING FIT THROUGH THE HOUSE! MY MOM THOUGHT I LOST IT. AAAAAAAAAUGH! So, it sucks. Cuz I don't remember what I wrote. TWO AND A FUCKING HALF FUCKING PAGES OF REALLY AWESOME SHOWER-NESS! FUCKING GONE!**

I look in the mirror. Fucking chocolate was everywhere! Fucking chocolate... Fucking KON... Fucking HOLLOW!

He laughs at this.

I switch off the light, and he stops.

"**_Yeah, I probably wouldn't trust me either..._**"

"I know." I take off my shirt. FUCK! It had seeped though my shirt... and onto me. Goddamnit. I moved to take off my pants.

"**_I know what your doing King..._**"

'But you can't see!'

"**_True_**..."

He sounds defeated and I'm pleased. I take the rest of my clothes off, and step in. I can't see ANYTHING. I fumble blindly for the shampoo or soap.

"**_Having difficulties there? Huh King?_**"

"None whatsoever thanks." I successfully knock the shampoo bottle off the shelf. I turn around to pick it up when I notice two yellow eyes.

**Hichigo:**

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" He shrieks and cowers in a little ball on the floor. I bend down and pick up the bottle, and hold it out to him.

"**_Here._**"

"How do you know where it is!"

"**_Us hollows have the fantastic ability to see in the dark, like cats! We also-_**"

"Don't mind getting wet I see!"

"**_I thought you couldn't see?_**"

"Shut up!"

"**_Besides, I've gotten damn used to water with all your damn mopey raining."_**

**_ "..."_**

**_ "In your head! Are you going to take this? Or am I going to have to give it to you? Or would you freak out as I was invading your 'space bubble of virginity'?_**"

"I can't see anything!"

"**_Hold out your hand!_**"

"HELL NO.**_"_**

**_ "The Space Bubble of Virginity is true?"_**

"NO!"

"**_Why waste time denying it?_**"

"If you wouldn't tease me I wouldn't!"

"**_If you would lose it, I wouldn't have to tease you!_**"

"**Oh, how he evades your charm escapes me.**_"_

_ "Stuff it Zang!"_

"Urahara was right! You ARE a creep!"

"**_I deny nothing._**"

"Creep! Where'd you go?!" He looked around wildly, as if he could see anything. I snicker from the other side of the room, and flick on the light.

**ICHIGO:**

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaai!" THAT FUCKER! I struggle to cover myself again.

He pushes open the shower curtain.

"**_Yo._**"

classSection3

"WHERE DID YOUR CLOTHES GO?!**_"_** I look at nothing but the wall, nothing but the wall, NOTHING BUT THE WALL!

"**_You took YOURS off, am I supposed to let mine get all wet?_**"

"No! You're supposed to TURN OFF THE LIGHT, and GO AWAY!" My GOD! Those wall tiles sure are interesting.

"**_Give it up already!_**"

"NO!"

**_"GIVE UP!_**"

"NEVER."

He doesn't respond, but flicks off the light. I can't see him, well, his eyes anyways. I sigh. I can finally breathe easy. What a CREEP. I stand up. A least I got the shampoo.

Lick

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIE!" -_SMACK_- I smack him so hard my hand tingles all over.

"ICHI-NII! Are you alright?"

"Yes Yuzu, I'm fine!" -_SMACK!_- I hit him again, just for good measure.

"**_Kon was right. That stuff is damn delicious._**" I feel a strong grip on my chin, and I can't break free.

"Let go."

"**_No_**." He teases.

"I'm not fucking around."

"**_Oh, I think you are._**" His grip tightens.

"I-MMMMMMPH!" He pulls me into another kiss.

I try to fight off the other hand trying to snake it's way around my waist, while trying to jerk my head out of his grasp.

"**_Looks like your Space Bubble of Virginity failed you._**" He pulls me in for another bruising kiss. I give in, and he pulls away.

"What the hell is up with your tongue anyways?"

"**_Us hollows are cat-like y'know?_**"

"I've never seen a cat with a blue tongue..." I grumble. He kisses me again.

"**_That adds to my charm._**"

"For a total of ONE charm point..."

"**_At least I don't have negative. You give me that much credit. That's good._**"

"...Not really."

"**_Ouch. Your words hurt me so._**"

"Cry me a river."

"**_CRY you a RIVER? If we collected all the damn rain you pour of me and Zangetsu it would make multiple oceans, Mr. Emo._**"

"I'm not emo! I'm-"

"**_What? COMPLICATED?_**"

"... Fuck you."

"**_I'm sure as hell not going to stop you._**"

"Just for that, if you have to stay, you're NOT going behind me." I shove him under the shower faucet.

"**_Fine by me. I can admire the view from here._**"

"JUST LET ME TAKE MY SHOWER IN PEACE! CREEP!"

**_"Virgin._**"

"Pervert."

"**_Prude._**"

"...Voyeur."

"**_Ooh, gettin into big words, huh King? Celibate chastity freak."_**

"I'm not a freak."

"**_Didn't think you could respond to that. That's why I said it._**"

"Leave me alone."

"**_You couldn't ignore me if you tried._**"

"Wanna BET?"

"**_Hell yeah._**" He looked at me. And then... his eyes started trailing down.

"OKAY STOP! YOU WIN! Creep..."

"**_That didn't take long._**"

"Would YOU like it if I were to look at you like some sort of meat on display?! Like a sex object?! Like a food, you could just devour?!" I pause. "No, don't answer that."

"**_Awwwww..._**" I can feel his maniacal smirk, even though I can't see it. He grabs my hand. "**_Are you sure? You don't even want to feel my hole?"_** He sniggers as he raises my arm to trace the rim in his chest. "**_Talk about a loaded sentence..._**"

**HICHIGO:**

He blushes, but doesn't take his arm back. Poor little king... Getting all flustered. Though, I do admit, so am I. He still hasn't figured out that what he's doing has quite interesting results. Oh well. Were standing so close, he'll feel it in a second or two. I made no noises, as to clue him in.

Sure enough, he stopped, and looked down.

He squealed, and ran.

Oh well. He was bound to reach his prude limit some time or another. I'm surprised I got that far though.

I turn off the shower, and gather my clothes, and walk back to his room.

He was no where to be seen.

"**_Ichigo..._**" No response.

"**_Oh well, since he's not here, I guess I'll just lay on his bed. All naked like. And hope Karin or Yuzu or Isshin doesn't come knocking..."_** And that was all it took. He jumped out of the closet (a/n: Oh, the insinuations...) And was scowling.

"Like HELL." He then yelped and dived back in. "WOULD YOU GET RID OF THAT?!"

I tossed off the chocolately pillow and blanket and laid down. I grin. "**_Wanna help?_**"

* * *

**Oh, I suppose I'll leave it there. Y'know... I got to leave SOMETHING for the imagination, even tho, as I said, it will more go the speed of a normal relationship. Not all fast-like, even though me AND Hichigo would love it that way. DAMN the need to have it REALISTIC! Plus, y'know, he's SUUUUUUCH a prude. A little cock teasing prude, but a prude all the same. Rukia and Renji in the next chapter, I SUPPOSE... And uh.. The Great Escape needs help. I gots nothing. I haven't looked at it in a while. This one is more fun to write. This chapter though, was almost ridiculously comedic.  
**

**In other news, an interesting pop up popped up, and was 'yaoi merchandise'. They had various bottons, and sticksers, and mugs and shirts, and all sorts of things, with random things yaoi related. Quite possible my favorite: "MY UKE IS MORE EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE THAN YOUR UKE!" another was 'YAOI: No peak, no point, no pussy, no problem.' The rest were actually pretty good. It was a laugh, indeed. My actual favorite: "THAT'S SO GAY! (And I'm writing it into my next fic.)" Seriously. So funny. May your plot bunnies always be slashy! I go to sleep now. No more speed left. I is tired. **

**P.S.: Heimdall from Norse Mythology was SO FUCKING CRUNK! HE HAD GOLD TEETH! The ORIGINAL O.G.! (original gansta). The first Grill. FUCK YEAH!**


	17. one sentence, the rest is? not real!

Okay, so this was going to be the author note on the next chapter. MY GOD I WAS FUCKING SMASHED! Read it or don't. I think i'ts HALARIOUS.

* * *

**MMM! Milwaukee's Best! It's actually not made in Milwaukee, and it's close to the worse beer EVER! YEAH! So, now, I'm sitting here, drunk, after the party, I snuck back into my house... And making random Pokemon references to Bleach. (LIKE WHEN SADO'S ARM HAS A TRUE FORM! I was all like 'dude! It's like a shield! DUDE! SHEILDON!', y'know, from the episode of Pokemon where Gary I FUCKING LOVE HIM is researching them, and then like... blah blah blah... yeah. I love Gary. If I had to choose between Gary as a boyfriend... and beer... it would SOOOOOOOO be Gary. Cuz that would mean Pokemon existed. And that would be the best thing ever.) SO YEAH!**

**I own nothing aside from the 6 measly beers I have left. OH MY FUCKING GOD I NEED MORE BEER! I'm fuckin smashed, you have no idea how awesome this is. Drinkin Black Butte Porter, listening to Charles Bronson and every other PowerViolence band I have, FUCKIN ROX! As I'm fuckin typing this... I'm fucking drooling. SO GOOD. As soon as I get a fake id, or turn 21, or a steady reliable alcohol source... I'm going to be an alcoholic. So if you hear about some kid dude drinkin himself to death in portland? THAT ME!! WHOOOOOOOOOO! Though I prolly won't make it on the news. AUUUUUUUUUGH! I KEEP SPILLING THE VITAL LIQUID SUSTINANCE! WHY GOD WHY?!**

**I keep like... smacking myself, full force in the face... and I can't feel it. It fucking rocks.**

**THIS IS SPEEDED UP! I'M FUCKING TIRED OF ICHI'Z VIRGINAL INNOZENT WASY! THIS IS JUST CUZ I'M SO DRUNK, I NEED TO WRITE IT, JACK OFF, AND GO TO FUCKING SLEEEEEEEEEEEEP!**

I grin. "Wanna help?"

He looks absolutely scandalized as he peeks out from the doorway. "ARE YOU SERIOUS!?"

"...Yeah." He inches out slowly.

**Damn dude.. I'm sofucking s,aaaaaaaaashed! Hehehehehee... Smutty fanfictoin reading is SOOOOOOOOO much better when out of yoker mind. Though... I can't tell you how stupid I feel for licking my beer bottle all over, pretending I'm making out with this kid I totally hav ebeen in love with for... like... fuckin ever/. Seriously, I need more beer. I need liquior. Though beer beofre liquior makes you sicker, and licker beofre beer, youreow clear! WHOO! I rtotally rememebered that . dDide... awesome. So fuckin SAMMMMMMMMSHESD! YEAH!! I PROLLY WON'T POST THIS... but I dunno., maybe I'll forget... and oiset oist anyways.. GAWWWWWWWWWWWD wahat abunch of TYPOS! TYPOKORE! WHOOOOOOO! Ineed to CALM the FUCK DOWN! Zomg... Dude... as I was ungrounded... My bofriend got caughHT...Fuckin A. I miss him soooooo fuckin much. I lonely see min at SCHOOOOOOOOOL! And at SCHOOL... I CAN'T DO MUCH. I MEAN sure. Yeah, weh could totally fuck in the bathroom... but that sooooooooooooo hella sketch. It's not as private or 'only one person comes in' as fanfictions lead you to belive. Dude. If fukcing SUCKS if your caught fucking in the school bathroom. Fuckin a dude. We got detention. It was RE DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK! (haha, total pun intended) If you're actually reading this? WOW! I LOVE YOU! Not as much as the kid I've been in low with for years... and years... and year.s (why am, I donknowind my head whiel writhing things?!) I dunnO! Uh... ((Goes back ant tries to read what Iw rote.)) I AM FUCKINGS... SMASHED. I AM SMASHED AS A MOTHER FUCKER. AND I DIO N'T FUCK MOTHERS. FATHERS/...MAYBE...DEPENDS IFMTHEY;REM DFUCKIN HOT OR, NOT. IDUNNO fucking caps ,lock.. YUEAH! Longest Author Note EVERRRRRRR!**

**Here is my list ov fav' bealchj characters:**

**1: hHichigo**

**2:Ichigo**

**3:Gin-CHAAAAAAAAAN! WHOOOO! He's so much cuter than the Kurosaki's. The Kurosaki's are just fucking HOOOOOOOOOT. Gin is cuuuuuuuuute, I love him and he's fox like ways..**

**4:Ulquiorra**

**5:KISUKE-CHAN! (shush! I'm not a member of N.A.M,.B.L.A, But I DO appreaciate their values. EXCUSE ME if I'd go for older guys. North amwerican Man/Boy LOOOOOOOOOOVER assuocsaition. FUCK YEAH! It's like having a PIMP, but he treats you like a god!**

**6:Ke4npachi. OOOOOOH, what a delicious hunk of MAN POWER he is. MMMM LICKS LIPS yummy. What I wouldn't GIVE to be Yachiru. I mean, with a body THAT BIG (and fucking FIT AS FUCK!) There's no way he's like... a normal 7"m'ches. He's gotta be like... in the 9-12 range. FUUUUUUUUCK YEAH. THA'TS what I'm talking about. MMMMMMMMMMM.**

**7:... ROCKABILLY GRIIIIIIIIIIIIM! I kinda have alove hate rellationship with Rockablilly/spyschobilly/horrorpiblly/anything with a billy./**

**FUCKINA! LAST BIT OF BEEEEEEER! FUUUUUUUUCK. Speaking of which,... that what I need righhhht now. A nice... Good. AMAZING... ORGASIMX... Absolutley BAT-SHIT-CRAZY... fuckin. WHY ISN'T ANDREW HERE?! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! NO. He had to STAY at the fuckin PARTY, cuz he wasn't drunk enough, and he HATES fuckin sober, oh my god, sober fuckin SICKS! SO FUCKING ABD! What the fuck!? And on speed, like, SURE, If hurts after a while... but yu ogo at it... for so FUCKING LONNNNNNNNNNNNG! Its so WROTH!q OIT!q GOD! I feel like passin out. WHICH IS WHY I NEED MORE BEEEEEEEEEEEEER! And andrew. WAAAAAAAAH. I need andrew. He's over here so fucking often. It's so amazing my mom doesn't cut like... Figure it out... But then, I'd jus tgo to my dads... and have him share is boozahol. YEAH! I LOVE MY DADDY! I mean, I wouldn't fuck my daddy, I mean I'd fuck ANYONE... given the right circumsantce... lkike./ so smahsed aI can't move...? And uh... I mean, my dad's cute... BUT HOLY FUCK! WEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRD! Ew... ew ew ew ew ew ew. I would NOT fuck my dad. FUCK NO. unless he paid me like... a billionw. Well... actuall more like... 100. WEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLL... Yeah, Okay I'd go with 200 hundred. Everyone's got a price. Unless your religious. Then you're fucking STOOOOOOOOOOPID! (jk jk lol, I kid. I mean, I'vce got no problem with religion. ((where the FUCK IS ANDREW? NOT HERE!)) It's jus tthat... I'm so JEALOUS! I cant believe in it. I would love to be able to blame everyhtin on NOT me... but I can't. God, I wish there was God. Man... My fingers hyurt. Drunken typing text. WHOOOOO!**

**Dude... I wan tandrew so bad... And like.. I called him... And he didn't asnew. DAMNIT! ANDREWWWWWWWWW! GoDDAMNIT! i am so fucking despreate righ tnow... I could be raped and just LOOOOOOOOOOOOOV E IT. (no offencse to anyone who's been raped... god DAMNIT! Fuckin a!)**

* * *

Seriously. What the hell is wrong with me?!

Why do I say "Fucking A" so damn much? Probably cuz of Sonny from Grease said 'friggin a' and then... i adopted fuckin a. I dunno. WHATEVER. Next chapter up soon.


	18. WOAH THERE! WATCH THE PDA!

**I just realized that Hichi's dialogue when facing the hollow was a lot like**

**Grimmjaw's when he went all teritorrial about Ichigo with Uke-quiorra (MY**

**PANTENTED NICK NAME MOFOS! So is Ichimar-uke Gin!) And 'HIS PREY'. **

**Seriously. Funny stuff. Anyways, beware of the next chapter. Is it just me or**

**is it gettin kinda hot in here? -Pulls collar away for effect- ENJOY!**

* * *

A deep blush is covering his face. I my only response is a smirk. He doesn't look at me as he slowly walks over to the bed. He sits down, still not looking at me.

"..."

"**_A __-"_**

"Y ou have to... promise.. Me- "

" **_What? You're not going to be quick fuck and that's it? Haven't you learned from my drunken banter? My nearly killing your 'friend'? My APOLOGIZING for it? I fucking call you KING for fuck's sake!"_** I sit up, and his blush has spread to the tips of his ears.

"**_You want me to MARRY you first?_**"

"Would you?"

"._**..You can't be serious.**_" I dead panned.

"Fuck no!" He spun around smiling, and kissed me. I grabbed his orange locks and deepened his kiss. I turn over so he is beneath me, my hardness now pressing into his stomach.

He wraps his arms around my neck, pulling me even closer. It's about damn time he stops being such a damn cockteaser. It's about damn time he stops being so righteously stubborn and pristine. That's right... _Come to the dark side King... we have cookies_. I stop, to lightly nibble at his lower lip and he lets out a small, breathy moan. I take this opportunity to slip my tongue in to meet his. He let out another moan as I explored. Our tongues meet again, and he sighs. My rough blue one clashes with his soft pink one, engaged in a battle for dominance, that I most certainly win.

His arms leave to wrap around my back, as do mine. My left hand grips his hip and my right rubs his torso, up and down. He arches, ever so slightly, as my thumb grazes his nipple from under his shirt. That shirt has to go.

I grab the end of his shirt, and pull it up. He lets go of me and takes it off himself. Oh, how my king looks so gorgeous. Daring eyes clouding with desire, rosy lips and cheeks, tanned body rising and falling with his deep breaths. His nipples are pink and pert, and he looks up at me. Expectantly. Hungrily. How he keeps his innocent shy look while looking so delectable is way beyond me.

I attack his lips once again. I grind my hips against his, knowing how overly sensitive my virgin king is. He gasps, and I push against him harder. My lips slip down from his, trailing down his chin to his neck. Emitting a pant he jerks his head to the side, granting my access. I nip and suck at the side of his neck, making a small pink mark as he squirms underneath me, trying to get more friction.

"Hichigo..." He sighs.

"**_Shhhhhhhhhh..._**" I reach over, and rip as large strand of sheet off.

"What are you doing?"

"**_Something..._**" I grab his wrists, and jerk them above his head.

"Hichigo!" He struggles slightly.

"**_Stop._**" He obeys, and I tie his hands together, and tie them to the bed post. I must be sure he doesn't wuss out on me now.

I kiss down his neck, nipping and biting as I go along. I scratch him all over his chest while he moans, my rough tongue circling his nipple. I bit down hard and he cries out. Not in pain... in pleasure. My masochistic King...

I don't neglect the other one, and twist it in between my fingers, his hips buck up against mine in response, crying out once again.

I descend once again, and slowly pull his pants off. His face is now as red as his boxers, which won't be staying on for much longer.

I go back up to kiss him again, and cast aside the last layer of clothing.

"Hichigo..." He squirms.

"**_What?_**" I bit his earlobe lightly.

"...Touch me."

"**_Where?_**" I tease, breathing heavily in his ear. I can feel his shivers.

" THERE Hichigo!" He whines, sliding his leg in between mine, now trying to stroke my length with his thigh. In one hand I grasp his hips in a nearly bruising grip, with the other run my hand up his leg gently.

"**_As you wish, my King_**". He arches to the touch. I stop, painfully close, but oh so far away, and trace small patterns on his upper inner thigh. He squeaks.

"Hichigoooo..." He is begging now. What my King wants, he shall get.

I kiss him once, and tightly grab his length with my hand. His legs instantly part, and both rise up, just by so much. He moans loudly, just at the first light stroke.

His hands are in fists, closed tightly, still held above his head.

I stroke him up and down, his pants and moans matching my steady pace. In a few moments, I slow, taking my other hand up to his face. His eyes open, hazy, and half lidded. He gives me a slight look of confusion.

"**_Suck._**" He does as he's told, and I continue my administrations, precum now making his cock slick in my hands.

I remove my fingers, deciding he can't wait much longer, and besides, my hardness was very tired of being ignored.

His eyes widen nearly comically, as I assume he figures out what I'm about to do. I press the first digit against his entrance, and he gasps.

"**_Relax._**" I say again, and again, he does as he is told. I slide it in, and twist it about.

"NNH!" He cries, and I can feel his tight passage close around my finger.

I kiss him again, and slide the second finger in. I turn it around, and he arches up into me.

I spread my fingers, scissoring him. He is moaning, head twisting back and forth.

"H... Hichigo!" My name sounds so wonderful, coming from in between those wanton sounds.

I shove it deeper, searching. A few moments later he gasps, muscles constricting around me.

"AAH!" He throws his head back, nearly hitting it against the headboard. I grin. _Found it!_ I hit it again, and get the same response, but even louder. I repeat, and his cries slowly get more high pitched, and frequent. Then, the impossibly tight passage becomes even tighter.

"AAAAH! HICHIGO!" He yelps, and came with a splat into my hand. He lays there, panting. I take my hand, and wipe it across his chest. He says nothing, looking too tired to respond.

I take my now clean (er) hand and pinch his inner thigh. He yelps again, and jerks upright.

"**_Like FUCK you're leaving me like this._**"

* * *

**Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! I'M SORRY FOR LEAVING IT THERE! Next chapter it's Hichigo's turn. I was gonna have them fuck, but I was like 'damnit! I GUESS I'll make it realistic.' Why is Ichi so FUCKIN PRUDISH!? WAH! Anyways. Jesus, I'm gonna wake up in a sweat tonight for SURE.**

**Hope you guys as much fun reading it as I had writing it. Till next time! ON DRAGON BALL Z! (And no, if Goku and Vegeta got into it, there's no way in HELL, Goku would be on top. I could _actually_ kill myself.)**

**X)**


	19. zomg, MORE!

**Man, I really wish I had a life size Urahara (Or any of my fav. Characters for that matter. WELL, Not Kenpachi. Not every part of him would be plush. cough cough, Maybe you get my drift?) doll. LIKE A GIGAI! WAAAAAAAAAAAAH! SO COOL! Any ways, would that not be the best thing ever except for the Bankai Bleach card game deck commercials where Ichi goes 'BANKAI!' at the end? I swear to fucking god I nearly creamed my pants when he said that. OH MY GAUD! I LOVE ICHIGO! I always feel so guilty when I obsess over other characters. Hichi doesn't count tho. I count Ichi/Hichi as one. BUT OH MY GAUD. When he says 'BANKAI' I FUCKING SWEAR, I did. Just like... a little bit... but I SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DID.**

** GEEZY... I wonder what would happen if I met his VOICE ACTOR?! Well, probably not much. But JEBUS... I seriously, but I wait... with baited breath for that commercial to come on again. I like, seriously, sit there on the floor, in front of my small ass 10-13 inch TV screen, only to flatten myself on the floor, clawing at my hat when he says it. FUCK. I hate being obsessed sometimes. SOMETIMES. The other times, I get to write happy stories like this. I own nuffin. I own no Bleach paraphernalia at all. It makes me sad. Well, I did name my stuffed fox backpack 'Gin-Kun'.. But I don't know if that counts... Does it?**

_ "Such a doll! She's such a tease! A little mace, she aims to please._

_and, 1,2, she's down on her knees for you._

_3,4, knockin' on the back door_

_5,6 Just like the porno flicks,_

7,8 _and it's only the first date!"_

**Little Bunny Fuck You** (awesome) - "**Fuck her TIll She Pukes**"

* * *

"**_Like FUCK you're leaving me like this._**" I glare at him

He leans over and smiles. "No, I'm not." He crawls over, and pushes me down. When oh, WHEN, did he learn how to be so seductive?

He wasted no time teasing, or kissing as I had done, and he went straight (har, har) into rubbing my cock up and down with his fingers. Stroking more and more until he was using both his hands. One hand rubbing the base, other massaging all over.

SURE, it felt nice, but I was not having any of this pansy shit.

"**_Ichigo._**" I slid my hand through his hair, and lowered his head, as so he would get the idea.

He did and turned bright red, and made another strangle gurgling noise. "But! I!" He looked away and mumbled something.

"**_What?_**"

He refused to look, and mumbled something again.

"**_I CAN'T FUCKING HEAR YOU!_**"

"I DON'T KNOW HOW, OKAY?!" He folded his hands across his chest and jerked his head out of my hands, looking at the other side of the room.

"**_Oh, that's right. You're a viiiirrrgiiiiiiiin!_**" I teased. "**_So what?_**"

He mumbled something again.

"**_I CAN'T FUCKING HEAR YOU!_**" I repeated. He said nothing this time. "**_Just treat it like you do damn ice cream cones I see you eating so fucking sinfully._**" I roll my eyes. He starts to protest and I give him a look. "**_You can't deny you fuckin owe me, Mr. Sensitive Moan-y._**"

"FINE!" He swings his head down, and I stop him JUST IN TIME.

"**_You do THAT, you're gonna choke and die._**" He looks at me scathingly. "**_And no teeth! You don't bite fucking ice cream, don't bite ME._**" I grab his head and lower it. "**_Start simple. Kiss it._**" I grin. Oh, this is going to be more fun then that time I was beating the shit out of Byakuya Kuchiki.

He complies and tries to jerk his head back up. I catch him and he blushes madly. "**_NAH! Where do you think you're goin'?_**" He lowers his head again. "**_Lick it._**" I snicker.

And lick it he does.

**ICHIGO:**

"**_All over._**" I do, and swirl my tongue around the tip. As awkward as it feels, I guess I'm not doing such a horrid job after all, by the sighs he's starting to make.

In order to avoid further mortification of having him walk me through this, I take it into my own hands (pun only half intended).

I sucked on the tip, circling my tongue around it in my mouth, one hand sliding around the part I couldn't reach, the other running up and down his chest. I could feel his stomach muscles contract, and ghostly white fingers clenching my hair. His dick hitting the back of my throat when his hips rose up, and he gripped the back of my head, pulling my down. Closer.

My embarrassment passed, and I began to relax, nearly thinking it was _fun_, though I would never admit that to him. How loud could I make his moans? His pleas? I found, when relaxed, I could take more of him in. I could feel his nails digging at my neck. How desperately he needed what only I could give him.

I was concentrating now, losing track of time, only more driven by the moans that could be heard getting louder, and louder, and louder. The calling of my name.

_"**Ichigo...!**_"

Echoing slightly, how it always did, but now, lower, demanding, heated. Controlling and pleading. I speed up my movements, hand now firmly grabbing his balls, head bobbing up and down, white curls in front of my face nearly tickling my nose.

"**_Ichigo!_**" Desperate. I... Want... him to cum. For me. How he made me, still a fresh memory. I would only do that for _him_. I wanted him to only cum for me. Me, and only me. No one else, just like I would only do that for him, and no one else.

"**_ICHIGO!_**" The last cry, and the last thrust upwards.

**HICHIGO:**

I came, and promptly, Ichigo jerked his head out of my grip, and started coughing.

"**_Figures you had to go and ruin it by choking. Amateur._**" Of course I don't mean it. It doesn't even sound like I do. I'm too tired.

I wish I had a camera. This is one of those Kodak moments. I would put it into an album, right next to the picture of him yelling 'I don't know how to give a blow job'. With a caption saying 'Ichi's first -

"BLACK!? What the FUCK?!" He wipes of his mouth onto the back of his hand, looking at my comically shocked.

"**_What were you expecting? Purple? Turquoise? Glow-in-the-Dark or Mahogany, perhaps?_**" I laugh.

"Not BLACK, that's for damn sure..." He grumbles.

"**_My eyes are black on gold (1), my tongue is blue, my blood is black, my spit, well my spit is normal colored, but that's about it._**" I sit up, and tumble forwards, pulling him down with me, face first into a pillow. "**_Now shut up and sleep, King._**"

"But! I'm!" He starts to whine.

"**_Quit yer bitchin'._**" I pull him closer to me, kiss him, and stuff my face in the pillow again, waiting for sleep to take hold.

* * *

**(1) 'Black On Gold' Is a ridiculously awesome song by Rudimentary Peni (only one of my favorite-est bands ever), off the Cacophony album. Just felt like mentioning that, not that anyone cares.**

**Sorry if it got a bit weird during the Ichigo part. I suppose I have been a-watching too much 'Slave Doll' (MAID TO ORDER! thumbs up!)**

**Seriously tho. Anyone else in serious danger of creamin' said pants, shorts or whatever when Ichigo says 'BANKAI!'?  
**

**No Rukia/Renji as you could tell. But the next chapter shall be up SOON. Fucking soon, I fuckin swear, not like this ridicoulous delayed crap here. Sorry it's short. I'm very very very very very very sleep deprived. Okay, sure, it's my fault, but... no. I'm very tired. Havent slept in QUITE a few days now, aside from that one passing out thing I did. Slept about 6 hours total the last 4 days. Gar. I finally get money, and now I'm out of it again. God fuckin' damn it. I don't make enough money to support my habits.**

**Oh yeah, I was also thinking of quitting smoking...? but not for any health reasons. Just cuz it's more money for me to buy drugs with. And that's the ONLY THING THAT MATTERS!**

**WHOO!**

**Bleach.exile. Manga NEEDS to be updated, FTW, aka fuck the world, fuck the what, and for the win. Fo Sho. I love Shuuhei. OMG, he's a pimp.**

**So uh, good news, I'm at me daddies now. And uh... in weird news, I hear Cyndi Lauper's 'Girl's Just Wanna Have Fun' from the TV downstairs. WHAT THE HELL IS HE WATCHING?!**

**untill NEXT TIME! ON ...somethin or other. I can't say dbz.**


	20. Renji and Urahara's Fireside Chat!

**OKAY! Another one! WoO! YEAH! ALRIGHT! I'm STOKED! Not really. I don't own anything. Sorry it's short! I just realized! I have no idea when this takes place in the series! Whooo!**

* * *

**Renji's corner of the universe.**

I was sitting in the corner of Urahara's with a warm cup of tea in my hands. He was currently finishing up a bedtime story for Ururu and Jinta. I was sitting quietly, mulling things over.

Rukia had gone back to Sarah Tie.

Urahara had said anything I needed to ask, information, or the like, he would answer. Not like his usual question-dodging. I had not made a sound so far. This was one of those situations that you really never see coming. Like slipping on ice, with your hands in your pockets. You're knocked flat on your ass, confused, embarrassed, wondering what the hell happened, and what every one else's reaction was.

I still hadn't drunken any when he came back in the room.

"Now then. How are _YOU_ taking this?" I could only assume he meant in comparison to Rukia, who indeed, had not taken it well at all.

"I don't know." I admitted. "I mean. They... Are they really.. like... y'know..." I seemed very awkward to say.

"I do believe they are as you say 'y'know'. I had no idea when I found out about him and his hollow, - Hichigo" He corrected. " I went by and they were upstairs. Quiet drunk I must add."

I smile a tiny bit. "But... That's a little different then kissing..."

"I agree. They are young, and in love I suppose. Well, I dunno as far as love, but Hichigo is very protective of him, just like Ichigo is with him and all of his friends."

"I guess..." I stared into my tea complacently. "But... Hmm. Do you think Rukia will be alright?"

"It depends." Way to be uplifting there, Mr. Good News.

"On what?"

"On what you mean. Eventually, yes I think she will be alright." He continued. "But for now, as seen, she's acting pretty recklessly. I don't know what she will do next. I doubt she will get over so quickly. Look at how she carries Kaien's death."

Yes, I remembered.

"But... This is a bit different then him dying..." He nodded.

"Yes, it is. It also complicates things quite a bit. I do not think Ichigo was aware of Rukia's feeling towards him. And Rukia did not know the absence of feelings _from_ Ichigo." He said.

"I kinda though Ichigo liked Rukia too."

"Understandable." He sighed. "It's either good, or very, very, very, bad that she is at Soul Society."

"What do you mean?" I gave him a look.

"Well, support wise...? I really have no idea. The only thing I think we can do is wait..." He finished.

"I guess." I sigh.

"It's better to not dwell on it. Think of happier times!" He chirped.

"..." I looked at him skeptically over my tea, as I finally took a sip. "Is it funny now that I think about it, and recent events, I've called Ichigo a gay-wad before?"

"Did you suspect him of being gay?" He flipped out his fan and peered at me over it.

"No?"

"Then YES! That is VERY FUNNY!" He laughed strangely. "OH-ho ho ho, and who do you think would top?"

"Well, I guess-" I stop my thoughts there. "NO! I DON'T WANT TO KNOW! I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT THAT! AAAAAAUGH! I'VE BEEN SCARRED!"

* * *

**AAAANNND... I suppose I'll leave it there. Next chapter up SOON! I FUCKIN SWEAR! Tommorrow morning latest. Yeah dude. It's Rukia's chapter.**


	21. Very, Very, Very, Bad

**YAY! WHOO! AWESOME! OKAY! YEAH! I'M SO STOKED! I DUNNO WHY! PERHAPS IS THE AWESOME AMOUNT OF SPEED I JUST GOT! WHOO! YEAH! I own NOTHING!**

_"I caught you in the eye  
That disconnected trouble  
Respect the hive  
It seems like days since you rejected  
Your mom and I  
We'll hope you dance to your bad weather  
Young love is fine  
Just please respect  
The candles as they line  
I won't waste a cry"_

**Animal Collective! - '#1'**

* * *

** Soul Society; Rukia:**

I spoke to no one when I returned. I went to the office, avoiding everyone, and put the Gikongan in everyone's boxes.

I quickly shunpo-ed to 12th Division's institute.

I luckily found Nemu with a stack of papers, and teetering test tubes in her arms near the entrance.

"Nemu! I must speak with Kurotshuchi-san! Do you know where he is?" I asked the girl with urgency. The sooner I got rid of that damn hollow the better, though I doubted anything would be able to happen as soon as I would have liked.

She nodded, and resumed walking. The tubes clinked in her arms, and the noise echoed slightly around the dark halls.

"Do... you want help carrying anything?" I asked tentatively.

She shook her head. "Kurotshuchi-senpai would be outraged. I am the only one besides him to hold such things.

We said nothing else as she led me through the maze of hallways and rooms that was the institute.

She finally stopped at a door. "He is in there." She knocked on the door. How she did that with out any free hands, I didn't see. I bet she had some weird, extra, freaky hand that she could just will out at any time! That would make sense... Kurotshuchi was very, very strange.

"Senpai... Kuchiki Rukia is here to see you." She set the papers on the steel island and the test tubes beside them.

"Ah?" He peeked up from the microscope, one of many on the other side of the table. "Kuchiki Rukia! What a surprise!" He turned to Nemu. "Is that them?"

She nodded. "There was no more Acid of the 17th PH left..."

"I see. Well I shall have to get more. That part can wait. Let us work with simplicity first. NO3 Ur, please?" She handed him a slightly blue tube.

"Now. What do I owe this pleasant visit Kuchiki?" He asked, uncorking the tube, as instantly the smell of smoke hit my nose. I blinked a few times, to keep my eyes from stinging.

"Well, I come with information, a plan, and a deal. That we both may benefit from."

"Oh? Is that so?" He smiled eerily at me, with his yellow eyes. "Do tell."

I smiled back, acting unfazed. "A shinigami hollow hybrid."

"Hmmm..." He grabbed an eye dropper and took out some of the blue liquid substance. "I do believe Urahara was working with the 'Vizards'... as he called them... Quite fascinated he was..." He spoke airily, trailing off to drop a single drop of liquid on to each of the slides.

He looked them all over, until a few seconds later, one slide smoked and sizzled.

"AHA! Number 2! What have we here!" He inspected the burn closely, then slid what was left of whatever it was under the microscope. "Corrosive alpha gamma decay! Nemu! Mark #2 down for that! NO3 Ur, as WELL as the sulfate mixture! Fabulous."

She made a mark on her clipboard.

"So... A Vizard, eh?" He said, still looking over the other slides.

I nodded. I could only hope he was as fascinated as Urahara was.

"So... What is this plan of yours?" He squints at another, and places it underneath one of the other microscopes. "Let me rephrase that. What is the deal you speak of?"

"...We split the Vizard." He only raises an eyebrow.

"The deal, not the plan. Though the splitting process itself would be rather amusing I suppose." I cringe. I could only image the 'splitting process' he would enjoy.

"I get the shinigami, you get the hollow." I clarify.

"What? I get the hollow?" He laughs. "That's rich, Kuchiki."

"The Shinigami half knows nothing of the process. It is the hollow that knows all the details." I try to explain. Perhaps if I hadn't rushed into this so fast... Taken the time to make a truly convincing argument.

"Hmmm... The only way this would work was if I were to keep both the shinigami and the hollow AFTER I were to split them. They're no fun in playing with a toy that only has one battery..." He peered into the microscope, and removed the slide. He did the same to the next 3.

"Nemu? The eighth has done something interesting. Will you fetch the Ur2 ULM?" She nodded and left, setting the clipboard down.

"Well... How did you learn of the Vizards? How did you find one?" He questioned, making a mark on the clipboard, looking over the next few sheets.

"...It's Ichigo. Kurosaki Ichigo." I held my breath. "The Ryoga."

"Oh? The one who achieved bankai in less than 3 days? This does change things." He took a moment in thought. "Though I would love to see his strength WITHOUT the hollow... How did he become a Vizard? You have delightfully caught my interest."

"I do not know how. I suppose Urahara has something do to with it." I say shakily.

"Urahara? INTERESTING!" He grins, and I can't help but feel cornered. "Tell me, in a short condensed way, but thoroughly, why you want to split Kurosaki?"

"...I want the hollow dead. He hinders his abilities, he is a constant threat..." I list.

"And?"

"I... I love him." His grin becomes even wider. I feel like a mouse, being toyed with by a cat. No wonder everyone hates 12th division...

"I shall perhaps _CONSIDER_ your deal, but let's hear this plan first..." I gulp.

"Okay, here's the thing. I don't have much of a plan."

"Do you have any plan?"

"...Not beyond kicking his hollow's ass for even _thinking_ he could touch Ichigo like that..." I blurt out.

"...Touch?" A renewed look of curiosity crosses his face briefly. "I dare say, what kind of touching are you yammering on about?"

"He... Ichigo and the hollow that is... Have... a strange relationship taking place." The spark in his eye returns, stronger. Oh dear, what have I seemed to have done?

"A Vizard... having a love affair with other half?!" He sets all his slides down, and turns the microscopes off. "We must discuss this more in depth..." He ushers me into another room, with brighter lights, and a window. A lot more friendly and less creepy looking then the rest of the lab rooms I have seen. "Sit."

I sit and look at him silently from across the table.

"So... Kurosaki is having a relationship with his inner hollow? I have never heard of something like _this..._" He drums his skeletal fingers on the metal table top.

"...Tell me what you know about the Vizards...?" I ask.

"Not much," He confesses. "I wish I knew more. Some how, the barrier that keeps a lid on shinigami powers, kido, demon arts, etc. is broken with hollows. Like the hollows for instance. Menos are stronger than regulars, because they combine. I'm not sure how one becomes a Vizard... but I have a couple theories." He takes a breath. "Anyways, Vizards... gain control of their hollow powers somehow. I'm not sure. That's why I want to 'help' (he pauses before and after that word, quoting it in the air with his hands) you. Perhaps the hollow can tell me what I want to know."

"Somehow? Like perhaps a battle? Or a deal? Or..." I stop. A deal? Was this his deal? Did Ichigo have to become his hollow's sex slave?! I was horrified! Poor Ichigo! I'll help you!

"I don't know, but I would think something like that." I had to help Ichigo!

"Is there a way of separating them? Or at least a way I can talk to Ichigo without his hollow?"

He nods. "I do have a way to isolate the soul. Or rather, halt other communications..." He stands up and motions for me to follow him.

Nemu is standing outside the door. She follows after me.

"Now, there is a process in which it must be done. An incantation, in addition to actually getting the things on him, which it sounds like, he would not be enthused about." We walk through more corridors silently. We come to a room, which he unlocks.

I gasp. The room is HUGE, but filled. High ceilings, shelves upon shelves, upon shelves, filled with boxes and other containers.

"Now... Let's see... L... Where did I put that..." He wanders and turns down an isle. I follow behind him, scared out of my mind to touch anything, especially as we walk down an isle with things that look suspiciously like souls, limbs, and organs suspended in a strange viscous greenish liquid, that is emitting a small glow.

"Aha!" He rises to the self 5 away from the top, and pulls out a box. I hear things clanging around, and Nemu is staring into the glass jars. I grimace as a hand twitches. I really would love to get out of here... FAST...

"Here we are!" He hands me a bundle of chains, and a scroll.

"..." I stare at them.

"Silver, gold, and iron!" I continue to stare. "Honestly, most I explain everything simpleton? Silver for the soul, the Zanpakutou is gold, and anything is iron, whether it's possession, mind control of a person, something channeled, or a hollow! If he has more than 3 in there, I can give you more." I shake my head.

"3 should be enough. I don't think he's being possessed by anything. How do they work?" I inquire.

"You chant the chant, throw the chain, and it splits into three separate entities." He explains sounding bored. "Just a little something Urahara and I worked on."

"Thank you!" I bow to leave, but he stops me.

"Remember my half of the bargain! And... May I question the boy briefly?" I don't know why not. He is helping me immensely.

"Of course." I then leave the building.

Now... to plan. I can't just sneak up on them... Can I?

* * *

**Oh ho ho! The plot thickens! I loved making Carrot-Sushi all scientisty-like. That was PHUN! We return to a cute mornging after with Hichi and Ichi next. Then Rukia comes and is all like 'wtf I killie you'. What a Beezy. FER RUL. AND... UH... The other story's update is coming soon too! Prolly half hour... hour maybes? X) whooooooo!**


	22. I Go To School

**WHOOT! ANOTHER! YEAH! And I've come up with a brilliant idea. All the story chapters are going to be names of Charles Bronson songs. WHOO! YEAH! Though his vocals? SO FUCKING BAD IT HURTS. Like... if he and the guy from GISM switched... or hell even Amebix... Well, okay, either charles bronson, or Animal Collective. This one is 'I go to school.' most definately charles bronson. **

**#7's is a song by Sunn O)))**

**#8 is a song by animal collective**

**#15 is a line from the opening song from DBZ, the original.**

_"My hands can make yours_

_Warm again_

_If not absorbed in blankets_

_Are you in need of teen angst_

_And a nibble on your neck?"_

**Animal Collective!**

**Okay, I own nothing. HichiIchi in the mornging is so FUCKIN' cute. I wish MYYYYYYYYYYYY bf (well I wish he was Ichigo, but since THAT can't happen) was more of a mornging cuddler. But NOOOOOOO, he wakes up, grumbles, turns over so he can't see any light, and goes back to sleep. Then he jumps up and is like 'augh! I'm not in my own bed, oh I'm here. Hey dude, what's up? I'm going back to sleep.' then sleeps till we're late for school. Oh yeah, most of the time? He sleeps in his clothes, which is just kinda annoying, cuz I'll have studded belt marks on my stomach and stuff. I mean SERIOUSLY... It's so dumb how he SLEEPS... in his fucking BULLET BELT! WTF! SO NOT NESSESARY! PUH-LEASE! No one is 'hardcore' when they sleep except for Kenpachi, who is hardcore when doing anything. He's HARDXXXKORE! LOLZ! (Kidding again, I hate using 'x's and saying 'lolz'. It's fucking dumb.)**

* * *

Ichigo woke up lazily, and blinked. He couldn't see! In one eye there was bright light, in the other, infinite darkness! He sat up quickly, startling Hichigo.

"Oh..." He felt rather stupid now. The bright light was the sun, and the darkness was Hichigo's hollow hole. 'My head was on his chest!' He though with a jolt.

"**_Hello. Holy balls, what is that bright thing!_**" He dove under the covers. "**_Turn it off!_**"

"...That's the sun!" Ichigo laughed.

"**_Well excuse me. The only sky I ever see is grey or black and rainy._**" He protested, peeking out.

Ichigo swung the curtain over the window, and laid back down. Hichigo pulled him against his chest again.

"**_You're warm..._**" said the small echoing voice.

"You're cuddly." came the reply.

"**_You like it._**" And Ichigo said nothing, but snuggled closer, pulling the blankets up over his ears.

Hichigo brushed the top of his head with his fingers. "**_I think my hair is longer than yours..._**"

"I still refuse to believe you're taller than me."

"**_I top, so I'm taller._**"

"What kind of ridiculous reasoning is that?!" He sputtered.

"**_Oh please!_**" He laughed, and did his best mocking high pitched shy uke voice. "**_I haven't done this before! I don't know how!"_**

Ichigo blushed profusely, and remained under the covers.

"Jerk."

A moment of peaceful silence passed.

"**_You've got school, don't you?_**"

"...Fuck." Ichigo raised his head and looked over at the clock.

"OH FUCK! I'M LATE!" He jumped up and ran across the room to the closet. "Fuck fuck fuck fuck!"

"**_That's quite an impressive mantra you have there._**"

"I'm gonna be LATE!"

"**_Why don't you just shunpo there?_**"

Ichigo stopped. He hadn't thought of that before.

"Because they'll notice...?"

"**_Bet you they won't._**"

"Well, I'll still be semi-late."

"**_What, 24 hours and 20 minutes late for tomorrow maybe..._**" (A/n:I wasn't sure if that was clear that he would be 20 minutes early for school today. So... an author note was inserted muahaha! Not that I think you're stupid, I just really doubt my thought process makes sense to anyone but me.)

"Well I'm still getting up." He huffed.

"**_You don't want to snuggle some more?_**"

Ichigo poked his head out of the closet. "No!" And stuck out his tongue.

"**_Wait! Am I gonna hafta go back in yer head?!_**" Hichigo was sitting up on the edge of the bed looked pissed.

"Well yeah! You think I can just walk you in there? 'Oh he's my cousin!'" He caught himself. "What am I talking about they can't even see you! Only Rukia, Renji, and Urahara know about you!"

"**_And your sister. Karin._**" He added.

"And Karin. Oh fuck. Karin. She knows!"

"**_YOUR KIDDING!_**" He clapped a hand to his face in mock surprise. "**_Don't worry King. That's why your so short!_**"

... "What did you say?"

"**_Worrying stunts growth!_**" He said cheerfully.

"..." He walked out of the closet and confronted Hichigo. "Y'know, I could of SWORN... You called me _SHORT._"

"**_Oh good, here I thought you were suffering from hearing loss._**" He grabbed the front of Ichigo's shirt. "**_What are you gonna do about it?_**" He teased.

Ichigo stared down Hichigo. Well, tried to anyways.

"**_You gonna stare at me? Gonna make me blink?_**"

The two got closer.

And closer.

Ichigo was leaning on him now. Almost sitting in his lap. Hichigo tilted his head forwards, but before anything happened.

_RAP RAP RAP!_

"ICHIGO!" A voice yelled from behind the door. "YOU UP?"

Hichigo sighed as Ichigo jumped back and ran over to the door.

"Yes Karin. I am up. Not at all possible by the banging around from closet to dresser to bed I've been doing." Karin only looked up at him, unperturbed.

"Well how should I know, with all that banging you were doing last night." Karin didn't even blink as she walked away smirking.

Ichigo turned more pale than his hollow.

"**_Your sister's funny Ichi._**" Hichigo laughed.

"Shut up." 'It's such a shame it's impossible to die from embarrassment. If it was, I would be a prime candidate...' He thought sullenly. He was going to shunpo to school. Not go downstairs at all. The fact that he was in his room, with his two sisters, and father, and- he let out a gasp.

"OH MY GOD..."

"**_What!?"_** Hichigo asked dramatically.

"...My... MY DAD... Heard us." He swooned into the chair by his desk.

"...**_I fail to see the bigger picture. So did both your sisters. Who are 10._**"

"... You obviously don't share all my knowledge. My dad... and... AUGH." He trailed off, shuddering.

"What?" Hichigo was intrigued now.

He shuddered once more. "The... the '_sex talk_'..."

If there was one time for a comical thunder clap or scream, it would have been right then.

Hichigo stared.

Ichigo was still shaking.

"**_You have that blocked. I can't access that memory._**" He said simply.

"... You can ACCESS my MEMORIES!?**_"_** He cried, enraged.

"...**_"_** '_Way to go Hichigo!_' He mentally applauded himself for lack of common sense. "No?" He tried.

"YOU! YOU MIND INVADER!"

Hichigo sweat-dropped.

**OUTSIDE!:**

Rukia was hidden in a bush across the street, waiting for Ichigo to walk outside.

"What is he doing?" She mumbled. "He hates being late..." She continued her watch.

"This is getting ridiculous. Did he go in early? Half an hour early?" She stood up, brushing off her knees, dirty by kneeling in the soil for so long.

She waited a few more minutes.

"School is nearly _STARTING_ now... and oh!" She ducked quickly as his window slid open.

He was squatting on the window sill. He shut the window, and disappeared.

"SHUNPO?!" She shook her fist. "How dare he mock my ingenious plan!"

Oh well. She would get him eventually.

* * *

**Yerp. Another one. I gotta go to school soon, so I'll write it until I gots to leave. Meanwhile to my delight: KITTIES ARE IN MAH YARD! YAY! I love me a kittie!**


	23. Red And Green Make Yellow

**So... I've realized... I've got like... 22 chapters... and not even like... a week went by. WTF. So I've got to straighten stuff out. Like... When this is taking place. It's like... they went to SS, but Orohime didn't get captured. So they're back. So... Now I guess... I'm gonna have to do something. To move it along. I'm gonna hafta think for a while. Think long term. Think ahead. Which is very scary for me.**

**Well, my scheming took a grand total of a bout 7/8 minutes. Okay! I've got a story line now! I feel all complete and accomplished! WHOO!**

* * *

**School:**

Ichigo slid through the door, just as his teacher closed it.

"A-HA!" She cried. He and Hichigo flinched. "Do you have an ABSENCE NOTE?!"

He shook his head. "But I was sick. My father's a doctor. Ask him."

She grumbled, but pointed to his seat.

'**_Geeze... It's like you versus the world out there._**' Hichigo said, sending him a picture of him sticking out his tongue.

'_We can send pictures? But yeah. It's the hair._' Ichigo said nothing more and scanned the classroom. It felt strange to have missed a day. Then he realized.

Orohime wasn't there. Huh... She did seem a bit ... 'off' when I spoke to her yesterday.

'**_Maybe she got sick from her own cooking..._**' Hichigo laughed.

They spent the rest of the morning chatting idly back and forth. Zangetsu only smirked knowingly on his Ponder-Pole.

By the time lunch arrived Hichigo was so bored he was singing '99 bottles of beer on the wall' planning to drink as much as he could. Ichigo was ignoring him, but threatening if he did he would go in and smash every one of those damn bottles over his head.

"ICHIGOOOOOOOO!" Keigo ran towards him at top speed.

Ichigo gasped when Hichigo appeared and tripped him, and vanished.

"...What you doing on the floor man?" Ichigo asked as he stepped over him. '_They might be able to see you. Don't EVER DO THAT AGAIN!_' He mentally scolded Hichigo.

"Oh, so cruel you are to me!" He was helped up by Mizuro, and they went up to the roof like usual.

"So. What'd you do yesterday? Were you actually sick?" Tatsuki was leaning against the fence at the top already.

"**_TELL HER! TELL HER YOU GOT SMASHED AS FUCK AND WERE HUNG OVER!_**" Hichigo cheered.

"...Kind of." Hichigo sighed.

'_Why would I do that? That's dumb._'

"**_And that's why I think you're boring._**" He humphed.

"Is Orohime sick today?" He asked.

Tatsuki shrugged. "I dunno. I went by her house this morning, but she wasn't there..."

"Strange..." Ishida said walking up behind them.

"**_AUGH! NANCY ARCHER BOY!_**" Hichigo gasped from his head.

'_Technically we're pretty ''nancy'' too._'

"**_What on earth do you mean?_**"

'..._Well... we're... y'know... GAY aren't we?_'

"**_I haven't the slightest what you're talking about._**' He protested.

'..._I'd say what we did last night was pretty... y'know... GAY._'

"**_-le gasp!- REALLY?! OH NO!_**" He mocked.

'_Shut up..._' He blinked, as he realized everyone was staring at him.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing just that you're glaring at the fence and blushing." Ishida dead panned.

"And you were completely oblivious to the fact we were talking to you." Tatsuki chimed.

"Was not. I just wasn't' listening." Ichigo sat down and took out his lunch.

* * *

**Sooooooooo me and my bf just spent hours organizing my million crayons... by color. At first, it was gonna be like 'original' then like 'subduded' then 'pastel' then 'neon/bright' then 'dark' then 'special' then like... 'expanded original' etc. but then I was like...NOOOOOOOOO! WE'll run out of room! So by color it was. It turned out rad. Which just prooooooooves how much we're so ment to be. I mean, who the fuck else is gonna help my organize my crayons? Fer serously now. I mean, he also painted my left hand's nails fer me. How sweet is he? Awwwwwwwwwwwww he's blushing. Haha he hates me for writing this.**

**Oh, no he doesn't hate me. Oooooooooooh he's getting annoyed! K. anyways. YEAH!**

**I'm (-cough- WE'RE-cough-) missing a DEFECT DEFECT show for you guys. So you better appreciate this!**

**Okay, so really, we don't have any money to get drunk and go. Soooooooo we bought drugs and alkie and went here. WHOOOOOOO! -cheers- okay.**

**Yeah. sorry. Now is the time for cuddle-sleeping-fucking-ness. story is going to have to FUCKING WAIT.**

update later. i swear.


	24. Better Never Than Late

**So... Um... Listen to Elliot Smith.**

_"You walk down Alameda looking at the cracks in the sidewalk, thinking about your friends,_

_How you maintain all them in a constant set of suspense._

_For your own protection, over their affection._

_Nobody broke your heart._

_You broke your own 'cos you can't finish what you start._

_Nobody broke your heart._

_If you're alone, it must be you that wants to be apart."_

** So... My computer's acting up. It sucks. And from now I'll be spelling Orihime's name right! D indeed, indeed! Now. I own nothing, and... a PRIZE is to be given to who ever can point out the secret hidden Crayola color in the story!! Hint: It's not very secret or hidden!**

* * *

Hichigo was bored. Ichigo had spent all lunch talking with his other friends. Worse, they were all talking about Orihime. And teasing Ichigo. Teasing Ichigo about Orihime's crush on him.

And if there was one thing Hichigo hated more than everybody having crushes on Ichigo, was hearing them talk about it.

Then the inevitable happened. Ishida had brought up Rukia.

All puffy nice bits of cloud in a blue sky disappeared, and a drizzle started to fall from the sky.

Hichigo was pissed. He was pissed as all hell.

If you went to all the camps in the world, there is a massive possibility you would not find an un-happier camper than him.

The drizzled turned into rain, and a cold wind started blowing.

"FUCK!" He yelled into the sky.

"I'm TIRED of this RAIN SHIT!" But his yelling was useless.

He made faces at the sky, he stomped and cursed, but it continued raining.

"**_If you don't cheer the FUCK UP, right now, I'll come out._**" He said threateningly to Ichigo.

No response.

"**_KING!_**" As if shouting louder would make him hear him.

"**_King stop ignoring me!_**" His shouts were met with a silence, and the lonely pitter patter of rain landing on the windows.

The only minor consolation was that by now, Ichigo was so lost in his own thoughts that he wasn't listening to his human world friends either, and that wasn't much.

He swore a final time and sat down. If something didn't happen RIGHT THEN, he was gonna show up and bitchslap Ichigo SO HARD, he'd go through that cement wall, and fall off the roof. He waited.

Then jolted upright as Ichigo did.

_HOLLOW! HOLLOW!_

If that wasn't god in machine, he didn't know what was.

Everyone stared at him strangely when Ichigo ran off, but Hichigo was stoked. Ichigo was off and running towards where ever the hollow was to appear.

The rain had stopped, if only briefly, the dryness, and the less depressing timber-wolf gray was welcomed.

* * *

**Depressed. Don't feel like finishing. Gar. Maybe Elliot Smith wasn't such a good idea. sigh eh. I don't even know if I wanna stay up. Maybe... hmmmm What make you sleep? We don't have any sleeping pills. Damn.**

**And Andrew's at some stupid show. Okay, it's not stupid, by any stretch of means. I wish I was there. But I'm not. I'm stuck here. Listening to E. Smith. What the hell. I guess it will pass eventually. FUCK. I'm sick and tired of being depressed. It's so boring. I'm so bored and depressed, I can't even sleep. WHAT THE HELL. I swear to fuckin' gawd I'm un-medicated/diagnosed Manic/Depressive Bipolar. Among other things. I think I could have more issues than Time magazine. sigh. Whatever. It's so short I shouldn't even post it. But... oh well. I'll update soon. I swears. Tomorrow sounds good. I'll wake up and not be depressed. So I'll write more fer you guys. I promise.**

**Sorry. Again.**


	25. Join The Rain On A Parade

UPDATE! A minor-ish-ish one. Changes, small, but changes. They help the world go round.

I'm gonna hafta fool around with the 'no fun ichi' part, remove it, clean it up (HELLA. It needs to go to rehab HARDCORE.) then put it as it's own story.

I reeeeeeeeeeeeaally wanna delete 'Mo Honey Mo Bees'/'Great Escape'. Cuz I hate it. And don't want to continue it. So, if the deleting of that will make ya go over the sink with razor blades, tell me. I'll prolly do it anyways, but it would be nice to know.

* * *

Hichigo said nothing while Ichigo ran. He didn't even yell out 'AUGH! THE KUCHIKI BITCH AND THE BLOODY PINEAPPLE!' when they came upon Rukia and Renji. When Urahara arrived he did not call him the 'Sandal-Hat Perve'. Nor did he shout out 'AUGH! THE CRYING EMO ARRANCAR!' when he saw Ulquiorra, standing there in midair, looking oh-so-stoic as usual, with his hands in his pockets.

He was so set on being silent he did not utter a word when Baldy and the Feather-head showed up.

But he could not refrain from cursing in exasperation as the sky above him cracked and flooded with rain, thunder and lightning. He followed Ichigo's gaze, and saw why.

There, standing behind him, was Orihime. The only color in the black gargantua to Hueco Mundo was her orange hair. Her eyes were closed, and she did not look at them.

"_**Fer fuck sake...**_" He kicked a window, and it broke.

"Orihime!" Ichigo called out.

She slowly opened her eyes, looking down at Ichigo. Her eyes filled with tears, and she looked away.

"...I'm so... sorry, Kurosaki-kun!" She cried.

Then Ulquiorra spoke.

"She has turned to Aizen-sama's side. She shall no longer be with you." He turned around, and vanished into the darkness, with the crying Orihime trailing behind him.

Ichigo stood there. Motionless. Dazed. Desperate. Crushed. Confused.

_Inoue-San had what?_

Everybody besides Rukia and Urahara was looking at him now. He was still fixated on the sky, where Ulquiorra and Orihime had disappeared.

Inside, Hichigo was torn.

He was exasperated at the turn of events, pissed off at Orihime, Ulquiorra, Rukia and Urahara, and everyone in general, and very much wanting to comfort Ichigo. He was seething.

But King would be able to see through his 'sincerity', or lack of... and Rukia was there. Not that he wasn't sincere in his wanting Ichigo to be happy, he was just fucking tired of all this cold rain constantly drenching him. And even showing his face would make Rukia probably go want to slit her stupid wrists.

Then again, that wouldn't be a good thing with Ichigo in this condition...

Stopping the rain meant finding a way for Ichigo not to be sad, which is basically trying to make Ichigo happy. But to him, stopping the rain didn't sound so goddamn lame.

Now Rukia was an entirely different matter. Ichigo was already heartbroken over losing Rukia as a friend. Not to say they weren't friends, but when someone tries to kill you, you really aren't going to want to, y'know, do whatever best friends do. Hichigo had really never had one, so he couldn't say. Talk over tea? Go shopping? Ichigo didn't do either one of those.

And why was Ichigo ignoring him? The only good thing about Ichigo's stunned silence was that Hichigo could ponder and think. Was that pole really all that more helpful? He answered that question for himself with an assertive 'fuck no'. But he was only getting more furious.

He looked back over his shoulder at Zangetsu, who looked back at him. He crossed his arms and stalked over to him.

Every one had walked over to Ichigo and were asking him all sorts of things. Those fuckers! Hichigo would have liked nothing more to kill them on the spot, just for being stupid shinigami. Ichigo was still looking up at the sky, and as far as Hichigo could tell, not even listening to the badgering of the crowd around him.

He grumbled. Zangetsu would never let him live this down.

His words were still stuck in my mind, along with the image of Orihime. And Orihime leaving.

_She couldn't look at us._ The only thought in his mind, besides wanting desperately for this to be a sick joke, was _why_? _Why had she left them? Joined Aizen? Orihime hadn't known about the politics of Soul Society, had she?_ He was almost sure she hadn't. _Why had she left?_

He knew as little as they did, if not less. He had been so preoccupied with Rukia, and his hollow, he could hardly remember anything else, much less if Orihime had been acting different or strangely in anyway.

She had been crying. Crying, but she still just turned around and walked away.

He blinked and looked down at Renji and Ishida, and Rukia, behind them. Ikkaku and Yumichika were standing by the corner talking in hushed voices. I turned away, and started to walk.

As soon as Ichigo stopped walking, at the side of the river, looking morosely into the waters, I appeared.

Ichigo said nothing to me, but sat down on the ledge. I saw Ichigo's eyes meet mine in the reflection on the water, and I sat down.

"_**...Ichigo...**_" I started as I slowly slid my hand onto his. Ichigo took a breath, but didn't say anything. It felt rather awkward siting like this, hand on his, not holding, just resting. I really had no idea how to even START to 'comfort' Ichigo... I should just give up, I wouldn't be any good at it anyways...

I moved to take his hand away, but Ichigo grabbed it. I could clearly picture a sniggering Zangetsu.

Ichigo still said nothing.

"_**...You know... Urahara could probably find a way to Hueco Mundo... To get Orihime...**_" I said quietly.

Ichigo looked over at me. "Urahara?" He asked slowly.

I nodded.

"I'm sorry about... Ignoring you..."

"_**S'nothin'...**_" Was comforting people always this awkward? Geeze... Ichigo leaned his head on my shoulder and I decided to continue.. "_**But really. If anyone could do it, it would be him.**_"

"Do what?"

"_**Find the way to Hueco Mundo.**_" I repeated. I had the faint idea I was failing miserably at following Zangetsu's advice. We sat in silence. The only sounds were a few sparse birds, the water, and a couple cars, streets away.

"... Do you want to?"

"_**Do I want to what?**_"

"Go. To Hueco Mundo."

"_**It's not really my decision... She's your friend. I just figured you'd want to. Y'know... You saved Rukia, I mean, Orihime's not being put to death or anything... but y'know. I was just putting that out there, as an idea**_." Silence. I scrutinized a piece of grass to my right.

"_**...King?**_" This whole situation was just dripping in awkward. If roughly shaking him and saying 'cheer up!' would of worked, I would have done that... but NOOOOO, Ichigo was a _sensitive_ and _complicated_ guy.

"... I want to save Orihime. I want to go to Hueco Mundo. I will defeat Aizen, and GrimmJaw, and Ulquiorra, and no one will die. I'll go by myself if I have to." Ichigo said stubbornly, leaning up from my shoulder.

"_**... Alone? That's a good one.**_" I frown "_**I'm here.**_"

"... How long do you think it will take?"

"_**...You think I know? Why? School? Fuck school! You got Kon here, not that THAT'S very reassuring, but a little bit...**_" Ichigo just smiled at me.

"You're surprisingly self-less today."

"_**What do you mean by that? Besides, I'm being terrible selfish. We're the same person, right?**_"

"I apologize for calling you selfless and complimenting you then."

"_**It was a pretty backhanded compliment anyways...**_" I trail off as he starts to laugh.

"Okay. Urahara's Shoten it is." But he remained sitting.

"_**Are you waiting for something? Do you want a countdown? A montage? I could make a montage, y'know. I'll hum that one song!**_"

"I'M GOING! JESUS!"He stood up, and dusted himself off. "I was just thinking."

"_**'Bout whaaaaaat?**_" I asked, walking alongside him.

"... You'll be going 'home' or whatever. Right? Hueco Mundo?" ...I would be, wouldn't I? Hmmm...

"You're _cute_ when you look all deep in thought!" He laughed.

"..._**Fuck you.**_" He only rolled his eyes.

Urahara Shop!:

"YO! URAHARA!" He shouted as soon as he entered the door. He peeked around shelves and corners while I played with the bell on the door.

"YOU!" A voice cried out.

"YOU! What's your name again?" I could hear Ichigo ask.

"JINTA! JERK!"Ah. That one kid.

"Where's Urahara?"

"In the basement." He then turned around the corner and yelled at me. "QUIT PLAYIN' WITH THE BELL! STUPID!"

I growl, and follow them into the secret huge ass training place underground.

"Hello!" I hear a yell. "Kurosaki-kun! Shirosaki-kun!" Urahara is squatting on a big rock, looking devious behind his fan. "What brings you here, my dears?"

"We need a way to Hueco Mundo!" I see his grin widen.

"Oh, not planning to rescue Inoue-San are we? All alone?" He smiles.

"What do you mean? I've got Shiro." He said stubbornly.

He grin is now roughly the size of his entire visible face. He points to a curtain in the

middle of the dirt. Ururu and Jinta run forward and pull it back.

What a fucking moron.

There is Chad, Renji, Rukia, and-

"Ishida?!" Ichigo gapes.

"What? Think you're the only friend of Inoue-San?" He bristles.

"No, I just think all your powers are gone!" He glares.

"Well they're not!" He shouts from across the room.

"Children please!" Urahara coos. "The way to Hueco Mundo!" He points with a flourish.

They all turn to look.

"Will be over there."

They all wait.

"In about a week perhaps."

They all fall down in the dirt anime-style. I smirk.

________________________________________________________________________

A/N: Okay, SO, yes, I'm back, blah blah blah. Still very sorry about not writing...

So.... I'm gonna make it a little more like the actual story I guess. ...whatever THAT means....

Some changes might not be radical, some will be. Some chapters will just have subtle tweaks, and changed dialogue, etc, like this one.

-.-*

I might try for an update a week? We'll see when school starts up again. The next one might be within this week, but be half a chapter.

But YAY! I mean, sure this is hardly an update, but I IS! *dances*

Next chapter! Vizard! :D But it's gonna be hard. Y'know, I mean, here, he's all Hichigo, and then... y'know, with the Vizard he's all like "I'ma kill all y'all". And I'm considering changing his name to Ogichi.... (I just pronouce it 'oh gee chee', not something along the lines of 'oh geeky'. Think about it! Gihc? Geehk! Geek! Not too cool.....) The 'Shiro' stays though. Shiro's golden.

umm... just so you know... later down the pike... I'm gonna make Hueco Mundo have night. Because... it's always like evening/dusk....aaaaaand I wanna put the moon in there. Cuz I love the moon. And the stars. And pluuuuuuuuuus, it's just ridiculously cliche. For romances ESPECIALLY. So yeah.

But bear with me please, this process is gonna be slow. I'm still begging my writing muse to return. But it's doing a lot better. A LOT. Copious amounts better.


	26. Parade Cancelled Due To Rain

Ichigo:

"_**I don't care if your sitting in class! I'm bored as all hell!**_"

I stare dully at the paper in front of me, trying to ignore Shiro's shouting. The school hours go by so slow, they're just as torturous for the both of us, but he doesn't seem to understand that.

Shiro has made an almost convincing argument to not come at all, and I am very seriously considering it. I know almost none of the material, I'm going to be gone soon anyways, I'm not here for my friends, who I have nearly shut out completely, and I could be using this time to start training. Yesterday had been taken up by Urahara.

"_**Not to mention if you stopped I wouldn't feel like KILLING MYSELF for seven hours a day...**_"

But it's only Tuesday morning.

'_You can't die Shiro._' I remind him. He swore he tried yesterday.

"_**I said feel like, Ichi. HEY, hey look, that kid over there is going to get tripped!**_"

I look and indeed, the guy in the front row has stuck out his foot, waiting for another guy.

"_**You don't even have to do anything for seven hours. I'm just saying, hours of school, just to go fight, presuming we get to fight, not that I'm complaining about fighting, for hours until you pass out, just to repeat the process again.**_"

I roll my eyes. '_Do nothing for seven hours, that would be worse then this. What would I do? Stare at dirt?_'

"_**... You could ... spend it with me...?**_" I smile.

'_See, now THAT'S a convincing argument!_'

"_**I'm not saying I don't enjoy the fighting-**_"

"You miss me!" I tease, then freeze. I... have said that out loud. Shiro sniggers, and I glance around quickly, but luckily it seems no one noticed.

"_**So, how 'bout it? Ditch this stupid place Ichi.**_"

I sigh. '_Maybe._'

"_**Oh, great, MAYBE. That's real committed. If that's t-**_"

'_It's a RESPONSE, isn't it?_'

"_**Response?**_"

'_You ignored my question!_'

"_**Were you serious?**_"

...Nope, I suppose it was too much to ask he have ANY acknowledgment that he cares.

"_**Oh, come on! This again?!**_"

'_What do you mean 'this again'? You mean me thinking you liked-'_

"_**NO, I mean.... You being so quick jump all over me about failing to express things!**_

'_So you DO miss me, you just won't admit it to me or yourself? Or you don't?_''

"_**I'm saying- **_"

"**I'm going to go out on a limb here and say he does.**"

"_**You shut up, dammit! FUCK these damn things!**_"

'_...Did you call 'emotions' damn things?_'

"_**YES!**_"

'_Just making sure. You figure what you feel, tell me, and THEN I'll skip school.'_

"_**......**_"

'_Damn it, don't start sulking!_'

"_**That's real funny, coming from you...**_ _**And don't YOU start EITHER! If I sulk, I don't change the weather!**_"

'_That would suck._'

"_**I KNOW.**_"

"_**ICHI!**_"

Ichigo was almost to the end of his soul chain.

'_PLEASE SHIRO!_' He was so mad he almost broke his pencil. All of his friends noticed. Most of his classmates too.

"_**Then LEAVE!**_" *SNAP*

Ichigo chucked the broken pencil across the room.

"...Kurosaki? Are you okay?"

"..." He heard Shirosaki's mad laughter at the back of his head and wanted to scream.

"Yes, I'm fine." '_Keep it up. I dare you. See if I don't dump your ass._'

"_**Yeah right. Worse then having your boyfriend living in your head would be having an EX-BOYFRIEND.**_"

'_Shut up, and leave me alone._'

"_**No please?**_" Shirosaki furrowed his brow when there was no response.

"**You just don't' know when to quit...**"

"_**Stuff it.**_" He walked off flipping the other man off.

When the bell rang, Ichigo gathered his things slowly, but hastily stuffed them in his bag and walked off as his friends approached.

"Kurosaki..." He ignored Ishida and kept walking.

He walked out, miraculously not seen by anyone, and paused a block away. What would he do now? He walked lazily to the park. It DID feel good to not do anything, but like hell he was going to admit that. He set his book-bag down at the base of a big tree, and began to climb.

Hopefully he wouldn't be bothered by some stupid shinigami, human, vizard, or HOLLOW here.

"_Having your ex-boyfriend in your head_" Ichigo mimicked. Not 'you wouldn't', not 'Ichigo I was kidding', and not anything in between. Just 'take it or leave it'.

But Ichigo didn't want to leave it. He wasn't going to leave it. He didn't want to take it, but he was NOT going to leave it.

He wouldn't and couldn't. Just thinking about it made his chest tighten.

He would still be there, but the things he would miss.... His mind wandered as he rested against the tree, staring off through the leaves.

He might be able to still see him, but Shiro would revert to how he was before; Psychotic, sadistic, not to say he changed, but all of those traits would be centered towards Ichigo again. He would continue to be as he was, but above all else, he would hate Ichigo more than he ever had before.

He felt a deep pang, as if he had been pierced by a pin.

Hichigo had been harboring feelings, any at all aside from the ones for him, for who knows how long? Why he had vehemently tried to shut him out when he was drunk? He OBVIOUSLY was the type of person (hollow) who positively did not give a shit about anything. So why would he care if Ichigo found out? Because he was uncomfortable with it himself was part of it, but also, a fear of his rejection? A fear of what would happen?

How much their interactions had changed proved he cared, more than that, he would clearly go out of his way for Ichigo, but then another thing hit Ichigo.

All the things he liked, loved or hated about Shirosaki, one thing stood out. The intoxicating color in his eyes. Sometimes it was there, but sometimes it wasn't. A golden hue would melt the hardness in those yellow eyes. The normal cold and evil eyes of the hollows were indeed interesting up close he found, but Shiro's were unlike any he had seen. Sometimes it was only fleeting, but had it happened more often, or for a long period of time, Ichigo wasn't sure what he would do. He could stare for hours if it were to stay. If he saw it for a second he would melt and become hopelessly lost, and overwhelmed, but as soon as it was gone, he craved to see more. It was like an addiction.

Shirosaki sighed, and rolled his eyes. Figures he'd go all melodramatic and sappy. He'd spent the last few minutes thinking about his EYES for fuck's sake. He emerged and sat on the branch next to him.

"_**Ichigo...**_"

"**Be careful Shirosaki. It might be too soon. Handle this wi-**"

'_**Stuff it old man.**_'

Ichigo looked over at him, and scowled.

"_**Ichigo.**_"

"What?" Was the answer. Not angry, not sad, but definitely not happy to see him.

"_**C'mon. I'm sorry, alright?**_" He could practically feel Zangetsu's flinch.

"..." The calm before the storm, Ichigo took a breath and - "Oh yeah! OKAY! Just apologize and everything will be fine! I'll just swoon into your arms, and we'll live happily ever after!"

Ichigo glared, and Shirosaki returned it with fervor. Shirosaki glaring at him, only made him more furious.

"What are YOU glaring at? And I don't want any of Zangetsu's excuses!"

He only glared and vanished.

"Fuck...." Ichigo muttered. Now he wanted a conflict. He hopped down from the tree and headed off towards the Vizard's warehouse.

* * *

Soooooooooooorry.... Andy got depressed hella on his comedown, and i really haven't met someone more depressing then him. BUT I've been listening to NOTHING but the Thermals and for a big chunk that's a good things, cuz they hella good.. School starts monday. That will either regulate, or fuck up my updates.

Sometimes I wonder if some one sees a band i mention and looks them up. I doubt it... but that would be really cool.....

m'kay. I gotta make sure andy hasn't done something stupid. he's been suspisciously quiet this last 10 minutes...

Vizards in the next chapter! I dunno... that whole thing may not go too positively, so don't getcha hopes all up an stuff...


	27. The Sun And Dark Clouds

!-- page { margin: 0.79in } P { margin-bottom: 0.08in } --

**HEY! Sorry about the lack of updates! I wrote myself into a block fer awhile there. See if you can tell where it is! :D**

**Aside from that, and finals, I've got hella relationship issues too. T.T**

**WELL... Read on yo!**

**I... uh, also don't know the green haired girl and the wavy blonde hair guy's names, so... uh... yeah.**

**I hope this chapter isn't confusing... Sorry if it is.**

* * *

"**I tried to tell you-**"

"_**Leave me alone.**_"

"**Don't take this out on me. I told you, AND you should know-**"

"_**Leave me alone! How the fuck am I supposed to know what I did?!**_"

"**You don't know what you did?**"

"_**FUCK! NO, I'M NOT PSYCHIC! I'M NOT PERFECT! I'M NOT-**_" He paused and took a deep breath. "_**Just leave me alone.**_"

I stood and watched while he walked off.

Yes, he is a hollow, and that counts for somethings, but the fact he didn't know what he had done wrong puzzled me. This was a bit exasperating.

Both he and Ichigo expect the other to know exactly what they think and mean and feel, with out any explanation. Ichigo was better, but didn't understand that sometimes, Hichigo just plain _didn't_ understand things, at all. Hichigo wasn't good at conveying messages whatsoever, due to his lack of understanding.

He didn't seem to understand anything with hurt and Ichigo in the same sentence. He didn't get how he could hurt him, why Ichigo would be hurt, when he was hurt, or what he was hurt about. He probably didn't know about hurt himself.

Hichigo in general was a brash, uncouth individual, who severely lacked subtlety, sensitivity, empathy, and was extremely curt in many ways, which made everything difficult. He liked to get straight to the point of things. Small talk and excess details irritated the living hell out of him. He hated avoidance (even though he avoided his feelings and expressing them AVIDLY), and refused to beat about the bush.

He had low tolerance level, and tended to view things in strict black and white. He would swing from one extremity to the other, emotions and expressing them no different. He tended to speak in definite. He was sure of the things he said, and would never take them back. He could not cushion an accusation, or soften a criticism.

Hichigo should of known what had gone wrong, at least in my eyes, but the more I thought about it, perhaps he in fact did not. Did he not realize what effect his words had? How they were taken?

Then again, he was very centered on reactions. Could he have though Ichigo _would_ of 'dumped' him, and did he see that as an attack?

He saw too many things as attacks, more so than what was his nature. He had a problem with projection alright.

I wasn't sure if he had experience to differentiate what people meant by what they said. He understood sarcasm, and he seemed to understand some sincerity, and I would of thought he would have been able to understand that Ichigo's 'threat' was completely empty.

When he said what he did, and Ichigo reacted the way that he did, he had seemed genuinely confused.

I was starting to believe he really did have no idea what impact his words had.

He had become angry when Ichigo shut him out, and was ignoring him. He had walked off, and come back to pace. He felt he had to do something, because he was planning to apologize, but he had yet to learn how to apologize. He apparently didn't even know what he was apologizing for, which explained the almost joking manner in which he did it.

Ichigo on the other hand, was quite another long story.

I was happy when they had 'gotten together', for lack of a better word.

Ichigo was a loner, even though he had his friends and family. He has a protective nature, with them and his sisters, and always fought to protect them.

He had always been the protector, if only because he was stronger.

But Hichigo had been the one to protect him. When he fought with Kenpachi and Renji, saving his life, and he also gave him strength. He was always the one people ended up depended on, but now, he depended on Hichigo.

He had people to talk to, but he felt they would not understand. Hichigo would be the closest one to understand, and Ichigo knew that.

Even though Hichigo had indeed felt for Ichigo, he denied it in the beginning, and Ichigo had been the one to initiate anything, at least where both of them could rememb-

I look around as I hear a crash. Huh. I return to my thoughts.

Well, Ichigo was in the right, and Hichigo thought he was being the levelheaded one. This have to be worked out, but it might take time. There wasn't really a clear thing to do.

….What was that crash anyways? I hope Shirosaki hasn't done anything stupid. Perhaps he just broke a window.

* * *

"So Ichigo, four days till you're heading off to Hueco Mundo?" Shinji asked.

"Really? What are you going there for, eh, Berry-tan?" Shinji shot her a look.

"Well, Hayori? Still mad about the damaged Special Walker?" She flinched.

"SUPER! IT'S SUPER DAMNIT!" She then turned to me. "And DAMNIT YOU! IT HASN'T BEEN THE SAME SINCE!"

"What!? Why can't I fight you! I don't wanna fight her!" I protested.

"DAMN STRAIGHT! I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!" Hayori shoved me towards the training ground stairs.

"C'mon! Let's go! I'm gonna kick your ass AND make you pay for the Super Walker!" She pulled on her mask and threw me down the rest of the stairs.

"C'mon! C'mon! Call him out!" She started to fly at me with her sword.

" …Shit." I block her strike just in time. I hadn't remembered I would need him for this.

"You're not still _scared_ are you!?" She huffed.

" … No, I... just..." Damnit. I don't want to tell them.... I did NOT think this one through...

"What is it?"

" Me... and my hollow..." She took off her mask and looked at me strangely.

"What?"

"Umm..." How to say this? … "Are you and your hollow friends?"

"...What?"

"What kind of relationships do you have?" What have I gotten myself into here?

"... Hold on a sec." She dashes upstairs.

Why couldn't I just skip school and go to an arcade like any normal kid?! FUCK! Now there's not going to be a way out of this...

"Ichigo, what's she talking about?" I look and she seems to have dragged the whole damn group down here. This just keeps getting better, doesn't it?

" Erm..." I twirl the sash off Zangetsu around my finger. "I dunno..."

"He wants to know about Hollow-Shinigami relationships!" She yells.

" ...What for?" He gives me a look like the one that Hayori gave me.

" I … was just … wondering?"

"Wondering _what_?" Love, Hachi and the green haired girl sit down.

"Well, I dunno, do you get along?" I ask. All I get is baffled stares. "What's your relationship?"

" … Friendship? Sexual?" I freeze, and they all look at Liza.

"What!? I'm just asking! It's a valid question!" She sits down. "Well?"

" … " As much as my silence is helping, I can't think of anything to say. Her eyes widen, but before she says anything I blurt out 'Friendship!' "Are you friends?"

She looks at me, unconvinced.

" … Do you have a sexual relationship?" I knew I shouldn't of asked that.

They all turn to look at Liza.

"Hmm, now there's a question." She looks deep in thought. "I'm going to say no. What about you Ichigo? Been pounding your hollow lately? Or have you been the one being pounded, ne?"

"C'mon Liza, you said it." Kensei hits her arm lightly.

"Yeah, but he blushed!" She said.

"Yeah, but he's a prude!" Shinji cuts in.

"I AM NOT!!!" Again, my mouth runs me over with a semi.

" … Okay Ichigo, you're acting very weird. What is it?" They all look at me.

"Nothing!" I stamp my foot sending up a small puff of dust. No one blinks.

Kensei looks at Liza. "Wouldn't that make him gay?" He whispers.

She nods. He shrugs and then returns to staring at me.

MAN, this is really uncomfortable. If I wasn't gay, I probably would have denied it by now. If I wasn't in a -ahem- _sexual_ relationship with my hollow, I would of denied that as well. But no, my mouth refuses to help me at all.

"If you could choose, would you have a hollow?" The green haired girl asks. "Everybody, I mean! Not just Berry-tan!"

They all pause in thought. Liza, however, is still staring at me. She tilts her head and raises an eyebrow, and gives me a thumbs up or a thumbs down choice.

I give her a very small, feeble thumbs up, and she smiles.

Hachi shakes his head. "No, I don't think I would."

"I think I would." Shinji looks at everyone else. Love shakes his head, and the green haired girl shrugs.

"I don't think it matters." Kensei says quietly. "We didn't get a choice."

"IF, Muguramura!" She pokes him. "Tai-chou."

"... Yes. I'd have it." He looks at Liza and me.

There is faint shouting from above. It's probably the blonde guy with wavy hair.

We both nod. I'm not sure if that means she DOES have a 'relationship' with her hollow, but I'm just glad she didn't say anything.

"Hey! He's back with lunch!" The green girl shouts, running up the stairs. Everyone follows suit except for Hayori, who squints at me, and Liza, but then trails behind everyone.

"So." She starts.

".... So." I place Zangetsu on my back.

"Why wouldn't you don your mask?"

"... We're fighting."

"Fighting?"

"We're at least not on speaking terms." I say, and she nods.

"Well, you better figure something out. You came here to fight, it's either us or him." She stands up and motions for me to follow. "Or we could give him a temporary corporal body..."

"What?"

She looks at me. "There's nothing like angry, frustrated sex to forgive and forget."

"WHAT?!"

"Prude. C'mon."

* * *

"**Shirosaki...**" I look at him through a broken window.

"_**Go-way... please.**_"

"**... Have you been drinking?**"

"_**... Yes. Go away.**_"

Something stupid indeed.

"_**Please. Go away.**_"

"**...**" I turn, but the stops me.

"_**...What did I do?**_"

"**What did you do?**"

"_**What did I do? Why does he hate me? Why does it hurt? FUCK! IT HURTS.**_"

"**What hurts?**"

"_**HERE!**_" He thumps himself in the chest, rather hard it seemed. "_**It hurts. It's not like battle pain. It hurts... inside.**_"

"**He doesn't hate you.**"

"_**Yes he does!!!! Make it stop!**_"

"**Make what stop?**"

"_**The pain!**_" I see his black fingernails grasp at his hair.

"**Is it because of Ichigo?**"

"_**I DON'T KNOW! DON'T TALK ABOUT HIM!**_"

"**... You do know-**"

"_**I don't know anything. It hurts. All over. My chest. My head.**_"

"**You know the pain?**"

"_**It fucking hurts! Why won't it stop?**_"

"**That is what you did to Ichigo.**"

"_**But it hurts! I didn't do anything! Why won't it STOP?!**_"

"**Words can hurt as much as a sword. You hurt him. You can only stop it-**"

"_**Does Ichigo feel this?**_"

"**Yes.**"

"_**Why? He shouldn't! I don't want him to!**_"

"**Then you must learn not to hurt him. Make your feelings absolutely clear. Tell him all your honest feelings. But don't hurt him.**"

He looks like he's about to say something, but waits.

"_**Will that make Ichi stop hurting? Will I stop hurting?**_"

"**It's not really up to me... but don't worry about that. Just talk to him.**"

He lays his head on his knees.

"**Should I go?**" He nods, and I take my leave. I can only hope things get better.

* * *

**There it is.... Hmmm. Tell me what you think. PUHLEAZE! I either like or hate this chapter. I can't decide. Plus it depends on my mood.**

**And... thinking about it... I REALLY SUCK at writing smooth time-passing.**

**Anyone else REALLY like that song by LEN? "(Steal My) Sunshine"? Anyone?  
**


	28. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

HOLY SHIT! THAT'S WHERE I LEFT IT?

(No I'm not dead!)

I'm sorry sorry sorry sorry!

I'm so sorry! T_T I'll come back and write more! OMG i didn't remember i left it there. What the hell!

:C WELL I'M BACK BITCHES. YEEEE BOI. GET SOME.

EXPECT UPDATES.


	29. Chapter 28 For Realsies Get some

When we reach upstairs, Lisa whispers something to Shinji. He gives her a confused look of annoyance, and waves her away to keep eating.

I approach their circle slowly, wondering the awkward topic is over, when she snaps her fingers at me.

"What?"

"Go." She gestures towards the stairs.

"Back downstairs?"

"YES." She walks away. I stand there for a moment, none of the viazards are paying us any attention.

She looks back and makes a 'shoo' motion with her hands. I sigh, and start walking.

I reach halfway down the stairs and sit down. If I get told to come back up again, I am going to get very angry.

A few minutes later, she whistles. I look back up, and she tosses a paper plane down.

I try to catch it, but miss. I assume there is an importance to it, but who-

'Thump!'

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!"

I lay in a heap at the bottom. My head, elbows and shin hurt from the stone stairs.

"DAMNIT LISA!" I look back up at her, and all I see is the trapdoor closing.

"WHAT THE HELL?" The thing that hit me is a stuffed body, not unlike the one that Yoruichi had me train with.

I open the crumpled plane and read it..

I look back at the stuffed body.

_Moment of truth..._

_ Do I want to talk to him?_

_ No._

"LISA!" I shout.

The door opens a slice.

"You're not coming out!" I hear.

"Until what?"

The door opens more and I see Lisa and Hayori.

"TILL YOU FIGURE SHIT OUT!"

The door slams closed.

… There is really, really, no way out of this.

I read over the piece of paper again.

I drag the body out to the middle of the 'room', sit down crosslegged, and stare at it.

I glance at the paper, and stare. I re-read the paper, and stare at it some more.

I place my hand on the 'body' and concentrate.

I stop.

_Do I really want to do this?_

I try, and stop again.

_ Why is this SO HARD?_

_ Hichigo..._ I remembered the gold, and the body sprang to life.

_NO NONONONO! I DIDN'T MEAN IT! SEND HIM BACK!_ I was backwards crab walking to the point of a crab-sprint, without all the tripping.

_ Why is this so terrifing?_

But when he stumbled back and the strong smell of sake hit me, terror was replaced by anger. When he fell and I saw black staining his arm, anger turned into concern.

I ran over.

"Hichigo!" I reached for his arm and pushed up the sleeve.

He looked up at me but couldn't seem to focus.

"Hichigo what happened?" There were scratches all up his arm. He pulled back, and tried to get up, but couldn't.

"Hichigo..." I pushed back his hair and tried to get him to look at me. He did, looked confused for a moment, then tried to roll away. "Hichigo!"

He tried to get up again, but fell on his hurt arm. He lay still.

"Hichigo what happened?" I stayed where I was, a few feet away.

"_**I tried.**_" The quiet echoing slur was almost not understandable.

"What?"

"_**I TRIED TO...**_" He broke off, and rolled on his back. "_**Make …**_"

Black lines where running down his face. He looked a mess. It hurt to see him like this.

"_**Wouldn't go away...**_" He grabbed his hurt right arm.

"_**HAD TO...**_" He started his horrible mad chuckle as he dug his nails in to his arm and pulled them across, and started laughing again.

"_**Make the OUTSIDE...**_" He dug his nails in a second time. "_**Feel like the INSIDE!**_"

I ran over and grabbed his other hand.

"HICHIGO STOP!" I tried to hold his arms away from each other, but he was struggling. Not hard, but I'm not sure if he could of gotten free in his state. "Stop, please stop."

_ "**Let me go!**_" He tried to wrench his arm away from me, snarling in warning.

"NO! Hichigo stop!" His eyes weren't gold now, they were the normal vicious yellow of hollows. "STOP, what are you trying to DO?"

"_**It doesn't matter, let me GO!**_" The scratches on his arms start to heal themselves and his struggling becomes stronger.

I pin him down best I can. "HICHIGO."

He twists and turns, pain on his face.

"Hichigo please calm down! What's wrong?" He slowly stops and pants. He still won't look at me.

"_** It hurt. So much. It wouldn't go away. Won't.**_"

"What hurts?" The yellow turns bleak.

"_**Everything. I don't know.**_"

I soften my grip and don't know what to say. He's quiet for a bit.

"_** Is... Is this how you felt?**_" He looks up grimacing.

"How I felt?" I echo.

"_**When you hate me. When you're sad. When you feel.**_"

He looks pitiful.

"When I hate you? I don't hate you. I didn't. I wasn't sad, I was hurt! Pissed and hurt. When you do things like that..."

He growled again, angry, "_** BUT I DON'T MEAN TO.**_"

"It happens! It happens." I hold his arms down once again. "It happens, okay?"

"_** Just because it happens doesn't mean I have to accept it**_". His haughty nature is back I guess...

"You're just going to 'not accept' things happening?" I ask flatly.

"_** No, of course not. That's stupid. Why should I?**_" He kind of shoves me off awkwardly and sneers.

And Aizen has a god-status problem?

* * *

**Oh god. I forgot how weird the formatting is on FF. BUT THERE IT IS! A LOST TIDBIT! IN IT'S COMPLETE GLORY. SEE HOW IT SHINES~ *_***

**I'll see if i can remember where I was going with that ^.^a if I even knew then.**

**and it always seems like the characters have hella mood swings x.x**

**BUT UNTILL NEXT TIME :D~ TTFN MY LOVELIES.**

**-MICKYYYYYYY~**

**ALSO REVIEW. IF YOU REVIEW NOW YOU HAVE A HIGHER CHANCE OF CHANGING THE STORY TO YOUR LIKING. :l fer realz. If i get a good idea, i'm going with it. the only plot i had came from 7-8 minute brainstorming i'm pretty sure. and that was HOW LONG AGO? I'll prolly just make somethin else up. . and i forgot a lot of Bleach-y things too. oh dear.  
**


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